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Conferences > Northern California > Domination Station > Topic #53
Reading Topic #53

Charter Member
98 posts
05-Aug-02, 09:49 AM (PST)
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"What male Doms want is..."
   I keep an ad on the internet to let my clients glean a notion of who I am and what I like to do; but strangely, for all of my numerous experiences with a myriad of Dominant guys, I still can't put my finger on what exactly distinguishes a great or mediocre session in the male mind. Before our first session all I know is that Mr. X is into spanking and role-play, or flogging and nipple-play, or whatever, but I'm left in the dark when it comes to everything else. I know what I find sexy and what gets me hot and bothered, but to some extent I can't deduce such info in the reverse.
What makes a session with a female sub fantastic? What do you think makes for a great pro-sub (aside from sex; I think everyone has spoken loudly on that issue)? What kills a session for you? I'm not looking for turbid and vague answers like " Oh, you know, when she has a good attitude." Let us not be trite. I want specifics, the more juicy details, the better; tell me the nuances and your buttons. Memorable experiences would be not only helpful, but so, so much fun to read. What is that incredibly sexy thing????

With bated breath, Belle

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Charter Member
1274 posts, Rate MzAlyssa
05-Aug-02, 09:57 AM (PST)
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1. "Responsiveness"
In response to message.0
I'm not a male dom, obviously, but that is what some have told me they like. They don't like a session where the sub does not react at all and just lies there. Squealing, whimpering and thrusting up of the butt during spanking is good. (damn, now I'm getting turned on!) - Alyssa ;)

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Charter Member
98 posts
05-Aug-02, 10:27 AM (PST)
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2. "Yes, yes, yes !!!"
In response to message.1
   Responsiveness is key! Nothing is as great as a contrite, red, wiggling, writhing, squirming little butt in the air!

But I know this...Of course responsiveness is not trite, but nor is it specific. Responsive HOW? I'm not looking for tips, because everyone has their own innate style (and I am quite fond of my own!), but I want to know what definitive qualities, acts or statements arouse YOU.

Your last parenthetical quip was on target! That's the second thing I'm looking for... .
xoxoxo, Belle

P.S. I don't believe we've met, and after these posts I think it's about time we do...

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3gonzo 3gonzo rating
Charter Member
246 posts, 5 feedbacks, 10 points
05-Aug-02, 12:06 PM (PST)
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3. "RE: What male Doms want is..."
In response to message.0
Eye contact - There is nothing like a a full, knowing gaze. The silent communication of submission is a turn on. And I don't think it is something that is easily faked. An old writing teacher of mine used to scream "Show me, don't TELL me!" - There is not anything particularly erotic about a sub saying that she is scared with calm eyes, but to say she is NOT scared, wide eyed and shivering...

Verbal contact - I know a lot of doms live for gags, but I don't like em myself. I like to keep a line of 'Yes Master' and 'No Master' running, and they need to be believable. It is a very important component with which the sub can sell the idea that she is a slave.

I like a very sensual session. I realize that we are not going to have sex, and I'm totally cool with that - but we're not just playing cowboys and indians either. I like to my feet, legs and chest massaged.

And for Christ sake, no giggling! There is some pretty extensive costuming and role play. Let's joke about it after the session.

A few years ago, I had a session in LA at TheChateau. When we discussed the session the sub was very businesslike and very thorough in determining my expectations and expressing her limits. But when the session started, she may as well have been a different person. Though I had enjoyed numerous bdsm experiences before this one, it was honestly the first session in which I believed that I had a true submissive. I have to admit that I was thrown off balance a bit. Her manner so suggested that I could take her and use her any way I wanted that I really had to bear down and remind myself that she was really role playing and limits had been set.

Does that help at all?


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