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Reading Topic #59

pastaboy
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08-Aug-02, 01:09 AM (PST)
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"Typical scenes?"
 
   When a provider asks what your looking for what or how should you answer? what is the typical scene?

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MzAlyssa
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08-Aug-02, 10:49 AM (PST)
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1. "Just answer honestly"
In response to message.0
 
LAST EDITED ON 08-Aug-02 AT 10:49 AM (PDT)

(sorry I hadn't gotten back to you yet, btw). She might list a few common scenarios like medical, babysitter, slave, ponyboy, etc. and see if you resonate with any. She might just ask you a bunch of questions during pre-scene negotiation about your fantasies and together you can derive a scene out of that. Or you might just experiment a little and see what works and what doesn't. One thing to definitely think about beforehand is a list of things you do NOT wish to get into - this is helpful! Seeing a provider for the first time can be a bit scary, but once you start talking you'll see that it's all okay. Have you read any books, bdsm or otherwise, that gave you ideas for fantasies? Do you picture yourself or the mistress as any sort of character? Have you ever been spanked? What have you tried with sex partners? (these are for you - I don't mean answer them here, unless you want!!!)

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persistent persistent rating
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08-Aug-02, 11:59 AM (PST)
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2. "RE: Typical scenes?"
In response to message.0
 
   >When a provider asks what your
>looking for what or how
>should you answer? what
>is the typical scene?

Who cares what the typical scene is -- I want a scene that is appealing to me, I don't care what's typical!

Be respectful but frank and upfront about what you like. For example, I tell the domme what I like (e.g., spanking, CBT, etc.) and what I don't like (e.g., no foot fetish or feminization) and what I definitely won't do (e.g., scat, piercing, blood play). And, bringing in another theme recently expressed here, the most you should expect from a typical pro domme is to be allowed to jerk off, and the mistress might not realize you even want that if you don't say so. I typically tell the mistress that I expect to be allowed to jerk off at the end, and that I'd prefer that she be as engaged in that act as she's willing to be (e.g., spanking me while I'm doing it, rather than just standing around watching).

In short, tell her your likes, dislikes, limits, and if there's something you require as part of the scene, make sure she knows that it's not optional. She's not a mind reader, you have to let her know your requirements. This isn't the time to get shy and uptight -- believe me, she's heard wilder requests from someone or other!

persistent


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