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Subject: "Condoms, fantasy houses, and angry posts, oh my!" Archived thread - Read only
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Conferences > Northern California > Domination Station > Topic #73
Reading Topic #73

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7 posts
13-Aug-02, 01:45 PM (PST)
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"Condoms, fantasy houses, and angry posts, oh my!"
   I'm sorry for being so lax about keeping up with the posts. All I can do is quote a John Lennon line: "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." My entire world does not consist of BDSM; I am a full time student in addition to taking sessions at the Gates. I think I was approaching finals when I made that initial post.

I finally had the time to read all the posts I missed, and I want to make these comments:

1) My infinite gratitude to you, Alyssa. Your responses are simultaneously diplomatic, informative, and considerate. On top of all that, you have the wit to be humorous. Midori should hand over that title of SM diplomat to you!

2) Thanks Analboy- that was a great session, as I'd never been shaved by a woman before! I'm glad I get to do that when we have sessions.

3) Sorry Gonzo3 about the size of the condoms. For those of you who haven't seen Gonzo's penis, it's quite large. Like, porn-star-and-then-a-few-more-inches-for-good-measure-large. We recommend that those of you with the same problem (problem?) bring your own condoms.

4) Which brings us BACK to the condom issue.

Wearing condoms is not a day in the park. We KNOW that, even if we don't have a penis. But it's not just the ladies in the house who feel more comfortable with that rule; the level of cleanliness in our house is a major factor for the vast majority of our clients. We are happy to lose the clients who want to go without a condom. Moreover, the ladies at the Gates and many of our clients feel that release is not the ultimate goal of the session. We have many sessions where clients do not self-release at all.

Prostitution/not prostitution. I felt like the logic on the message boards went like this: "Look, domming is prostitution, so you might as well go full service." I think that's a bit reductive. As evidenced by the Clinton-Lewinsky debacle, sex can mean many things.

It seems that people are conflating a matter of semantics with my personal comfort level, and that's not fair. Just because I like doing a guy in the ass with a strap-on doesn't mean I like sucking him off. Call either sex if you want to, but I do one of these activities and I don't do the other, labels be damned.

Furthermore, you can't accuse someone of being an inadequate third wave feminist if she doesn't do full service. That sort of argument is enough to drive a gal back to the second wave! I feel that line of thinking is as unfair as women reacting to male supremecy by believing in female supremecy.

And just because someone does not do full service does not mean she looks down on her peers who DO do full service.

I'm very sorry if you felt the ladies were condescending regarding condoms or denying extras. Sometimes we find we have to act that way with certain clients who do not understand our house and personal limits; a polite answer in the negative is sometimes not sufficient with persistent clients. I will bring this up with the ladies and see if we can try to find a happy medium of polite, but firm, answers.

Thank you _all_ for your insight. I hope to frequent these boards more often, so I can adequately answer questions on behalf of the Gates.


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