LAST EDITED ON 21-May-08 AT 03:12 PM (PST)
Thanks to Jorge for compiling and organizing these. ...jd
To help our new friends get started we've assembled some frequently asked questions (FAQ's) that should help answer some of the questions about Full Body Sensual Massage or FBSM. We have organized the questions in to general topics such as:
Making An Appointment
How to Relax and Enjoy Your Massage
The Art of FBSM Forum
Q: What does the acronym FBSM stand for?
A: FBSM stands for "Full Body Sensual Massage."
Q: What does Full Body Sensual Massage mean?
A: "Full body massage" means that most if not all of the client's body will be touched by the masseuse during the massage. "Sensual" means that at some point in the session, typically towards the end, areas such as the buttocks and genitals will be stimulated usually leading to the so-called "happy ending" or "release."
Q: How is that different than any other massage?
A: In so-called "legitimate" or "therapeutic" massage the buttocks and genitals are not only seldom or never touched they are often covered by a sheet or towel which is called "draping."
Q: How do I know what to expect on my first FBSM?
A: That's not an easy question to answer because there are so many different providers with so many different styles.
Q: Where can I learn about FBSM?
A: The best way to start is to read the provider's ad (and website if she has one) very carefully. Most providers put a lot of thought and effort in to their ads and websites and you should read them with that in mind.
Q: What is "incall?"
A: "Incall" is where you go to the provider--to her hotel room, her rented studio space, her apartment, her house, etc.
Q: What is "outcall?"
A: "Outcall" is where the provider comes to you--your hotel room, your home, etc.
Q: Can you give me an example of different styles?
A: Sure. Some providers offer a very vigorous massage before the sensual component and there is a clear line between the two. Others have a very light touch throughout the session and the entire session seems more sensual than a massage per se.
Q: Why is privacy / discretion an important part of FBSM?
A: This seems like a stupid question but many of us forget how important it is at times. FBSM is illegal and as such discretion is important for the protection of both provider and client. Keep private information to yourself, don't ask private or service-related questions during the scheduling process. Many ladies won't answer. Be careful around the incall, don't hang around the door, don't arrive early, try to be as quiet as possible. Don't post anything that impinges on a providers privacy.
MAKING AN APPOINTMENT
Q: What should I look for in the ads or websites?
A: Note any description of her personality and other things that might not be obvious in photographs, e.g, height, size, and age. Note the scope of her services. If it's not in her ad, do not assume it's on the menu! When does she work? How does she prefer to be contacted? E-mail? Phone? Does she require references? Does she take same-day appointments?
Q: What does the acronym CMT stand for?
A: CMT stands for "Certified Massage Therapist."
Q: What does "Certified Massage Therapist" mean?
A: A certified massage therapist is a graduate of an accredited massage training program including some number of hours of experience.
Q: OK, so I've read the ads and websites of a few providers who look interesting to me. I still have some questions. Now what?
A: First, congratulations on actually reading the ads and websites. Providers get frustrated spending time answering questions on the phone or by e-mail that are addressed in their ads or on their websites. The next step is to read the provider's reviews. Reviews are an excellent way of predicting if you and the provider will be a good fit.
Q: OK, so where do I find the reviews?
A: The basic ratings are available free when clicking on the word "Reviews" at the top of the message board page. The detailed information need to make a truly educated and informed choice is available with an inexpensive membership or upon the submission of 2 reviews of your own.
Q: Whoa. I read some reviews that suggest there's LOT more going on than just massage and a handjob.
A: First, not everything you read in reviews is true. Second, the services provided do vary from provider to provider. Finally, there is YMMV.
Q: What is YMMV?
A: YMMV means "Your Mileage May Vary." How a session develops can depend on several things. First, don't expect to get even normal services if you are unsanitary or unpleasant. Second, while the general tenure of FBSM will normally happen there are occasions where people click or over time trust each other and stuff happens that won't happen to every client or even to the same client every time.
Q: You mean if "xyz" beyond the massage and release happens to me I shouldn't expect it every time?
A: That's right.
Q: But didn't I pay for it?
A: No. You paid for the massage and the release.
Q: Should YMMV things be reviewed?
A: Generally no, since they are not going to happen for most readers of the review so they are not useful in decision-making.
Q: What should I avoid when making an appointment?
A: Do not make lewd or explicit comments in e-mail or on the phone, or worse, send x-rated photos. Most providers will end communication with you.
Q: I've heard this FBSM thing is just an elaborate screening process and that if you pass and the lady likes the looks of you she'll immediately try to upsell you to FS.
A: Nothing could be further from the truth and there's nothing likely to get you in more trouble faster than going in with this expectation. The previously mentioned boundaries are generally hard and fast with the majority of FBSM providers providing the services defined as FBSM. If activities such as oral sex or penetration are what you are looking for seeing an massage-capable escort or FBSM + provider is the way to go.
Q: Some providers want references. Why?
A: The providers who want references want them to know you are OK, meaning a safe client. All this means is having a lady or two you have seen vouch for you. If you are not comfortable with this system there are some providers (the minority) who don't require references. Remember it takes time to check references so keep that in mind too. It's a good idea to inform the lady you're using as a reference that you are doing so.
Q: I don't feel well. Should I cancel my massage appointment?
A: Definitely. Call the lady as soon as you can.
HOW TO RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR MASSAGE
Q: Do I have to shower before the massage?
A: Generally yes, unless you've showered very recently, say within the previous hour.
Q: How should I prepare for my massage appointment?
A: Prepare as you would for a date--clean, brushed, scrubbed, etc. Give ample warning if you need to change the date or time. Arrive on time; neither early nor late. Follow the lady's instructions on approaching her door.
Q: Once I arrive how do I make sure I get what I expect?
A: As we said before FBSM is what you should expect to get. Generally the best path to take is let the provider lead the session. She will take charge and lead you into enjoying her company and her skills. You can help by telling her when something she is doing is good or not good for you. The making of a great FBSM provider is intuition but feedback still helps.
Q: Can I touch the masseuse?
A: Some Providers allow respectful touching of certain areas of their bodies - less frequently their pubic area. What a given provider allows or does not allow is often called her "boundaries."
Q: Can I massage the masseuse?
A: Some may allow this depending on their boundaries and trust. Trust usually builds over time.
Q: Will the masseuse be nude during the session?
A: Some will. Many will not. Some wear lingerie. Some just panties.
GIFTS AND TIPPING
Q: Why do some providers list their gift preferences in their ads and on their websites?
A: Many gentlemen like to bring a gift and like knowing the lady's preferences.
Q: Does that mean the provider "expects" a gift from her list?
A: Certainly not. The list is merely a convenience for those that are so inclined. Most providers have a disclaimer that gifts, while appreciated, are never required.
Q: Is tipping expected?
Q: But guys DO tip, don't they?
A: Yes. Frequently.
Q: If I feel like tipping, how much should I tip?
A: That depends on you. If we give you a guideline then you will think you're expected to follow it, such as 20% in a restaurant.
Q: If I tip once will I be expected to tip every time?
Q: Why not?
A: Because there may have been any number of influences on your tipping. You might have been flush that week or been in a position to be particularly generous or in a generous mood. That doesn't mean you always will be.
Q: But if I don't tip doesn't that mean I wasn't happy with the session?
A: No. It doesn't mean that and the provider will not think that.
THE ART OF FBSM FORUM
Q: What is the "Art of FBSM" forum?
A: The Art of FBSM forum is a public message board. It is a small friendly little corner in the Redbook (RB) universe devoted to the friendly discussion of FBSM and related topics.
Q: Can both men and women participate here?
A: Yes. Unlike some of the other forums on RB, this forum is "mixed" which means both men and women are allowed to post. In fact not only are the women here allowed to post, they are ENCOURAGED to post.
Q: How many people post here?
A: This forum is quite small in terms of the number of participants and the number of posts, the smallness adds to a real sense of community, adds to the usually friendly tone, and ultimately more forthright, reliable information sharing. Personal attacks and statements that serve only to provoke animosity or discord run counter to this objective and are subject to deletion by the moderators.