Derf

well, stay single would be a more realistic position to take. that's 2 marriages done and the women can not stand you? pretty serious wake up call is in order IMO

if you don't have time for self assessment, including counseling, then just do what you do best: work.

The first thing you should do is determine where you want to live in terms of which city works best for you. If you are not sure, don't signup for a 1 yr lease for an apt. Instead, find a weekly rental that gives you lots of flexibility until you come to a decision. Just remember that weekly rentals are just temporary places to stay and will cost more than an apt.

From an emotional standpoint, you will probably go through different stages over the next few weeks and months including shock, denial, anger, pain, etc. If you have a very close and trusted friend, I would seek this person out for moral support....someone that you can see or call to talk, to vent, to be there to support you. If not and the pain seems to hard to cope with, you may want to seek professional help. Your health plan should cover this expense with a co-pay. There are tons of qualified professional counselors/shrinks that can help you through this difficult period. I would definitely recommend taking this path if you continue to struggle in coping with this situation and can't get pass it. A divorce is a huge impact to your life and things will change drastically, but you will be able to find your inner strength and realize that you can MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU WILL BE FINE!

Like you, I was and continue to be a workaholic so I buried myself in my work back then when I was going through the divorce. There will be moments when the emotions will get to you so no matter how busy you keep yourself at work, it will overwhelm you. My advise to you is to try to stay strong, stay busy, and not let this situation bring you down. You are probably scared right now and worried about the unknowns. That is normal. Just remind yourself that you can control your destiny. You can overcome this emotional trauma in your life. You can be whole again, but you have to remain strong. I strongly recommend that you don't hold it all inside you and let it get to you. Let it out. Talk to your trusted friends. If you feel you need to cry in private to release the pent up emotions and stress, then do so. You are human and there is nothing wrong with crying. There is no shame to this. But, I want you to know that your life does not end now because your wife decided to leave you. You can survive and someday, you will look back to see how you were to move to the next stage in your life and that you will be fine.

Have you asked yourself if you really want to stay in this marriage or just get out since your wife wants out? Are you totally sure that marriage is commpletely over and that there is no way to salvage your marriage? Would she be willing to go to see a marriage counselor with you to try to work things out? Are you still on speaking terms with her? Will you be able to have a calm, open discussion about this?

I hope it all works out for you. Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions that I can answer.

Good luck and stay strong! You will be okay!

SFMan

SFMan, you are to be commended for trying to help. However, if you read his earler postings again you will see that he has been here before. I am certain he is aware of all the above. Painfully aware.

Maybe your wife leaving you is for the best, as something much better better is down the line. Until then, grieve as much as you need too, pick yourself up and don't look back.

Best of luck to you.

At least talk to her to work out some agreement so you don't lose everything and live out of a suitcase. Trust me it's not the greatest life.

Jami

It's my business doing pleasure with you!

"Tell your sister to come down quick..."

his financial obligation to her can not be leveraged away with a "good lawyer". they just take your money. consider mediation

I disagree.

Time cannot, and will not, heal anything and everything for everyone. Obviously, not all damage can be undone. Life just isn't like that.

The only guarantee that comes with the passing of time, in and of itself, is that it will will carry one to his grave. Whether he has healed or not.

Some things are just broken and they cannot be fixed. We can do what we must in order to learn to live as happily and comfortably as possible with that reality, or not. Some healing can be had by choice, some cannot.

This kind of healing is best not viewed a waiting game, but as a positive choice followed by a firm commitment, or devotion to moving forward through the pain, to a new kind of life. Possibly to a better and more fulfilling life, if one is completely willing to acknowledge their feelings, works through them and not around them, and busts his or her ass to make it so.

It's hard, agonizing, and at times, potentially debilitating (particularly emotionally and psychologically) work...... and yes, it is time consuming work.

Nothing, not even Father Time can change the past, take away the bad, the mistakes, the injustice or the losses we suffer, but we can come to feel and view them differently if we are determined to do so.

In many, if not most cases, how long that takes is largely on us, and proportional to our (sometimes requisitely Herculean) EFFORTS to Heal ourselves.

We can't take away or ignore the all the bad, but until we start pushin' Daisies, we can always go out, live the lives we're working toward, and keep piling on the good till we drop.

Do things to make you happy.

Don't think about her now, do things to protect your interest. Women will turn into Queen BITCH when they are not into you anymore.

not for me, as i am alcoholic and have not had a drink for 14 years. i say this here because the divorce was so painful, i began to have a drinking problem, not knowing how to cope with the emotions. so perhaps inbox me if you'd like me to share what i've learned along the way to restore health, sanity, happiness, peace and love!

so i will just toast with a nice oolong, thank you

ssseraphina

Did what I did, make up with her, stays friends, and do the divorce together. The problem with lawyers is they nat to creat more arguments pitting each of you against each other. They cretaed the divorce rules in the first place.

As to other advice, most has been addressed. I saw a therapist and discoverd that the pian nver goes away it just fades over time and I wasn't able to function normally again for 3 years. I was married for 15 years. TRying to make it go away or hpoing it will go awy wn't work.

Also go on a fling and enjoy fucking all the best pussy you can. I myself have a 23 yr old hottie now (I'm 52) Don't buy into all that crap about having a young woman won't last. It's the best thing that can happen to you she will make you feel young again. Also next time don't make friends thru someone else make your own.

btw I'm in Hayward if you want to fuck my gf inbox me , she is a slut nymphomaniac

Odd as it may sound, I was not able to get over the sick hurting loss of my marriage until she pissed me off so much during the divorce, I hated her. She tried to clam on to all I had provided for the family, she was totally selfish. Told me I was always working, no romance, and so on. I felt like I had really let her down. Later I found out she was planning on hooking up with her old high school BF. His wife called me and told me about her phone affair. Between the blame she laid on me and the greed she showed regarding our possions, I really came to the point where I hated her. My god it like all the emotion I still felf for her left. I was free...it was then that I was able to proceed with my life. We still talk now and then because of our now grown children, but I do not have one bit of feeling for her. I actually pity the men she has been with since me. One marriage only lasted 6 months and he took a hike...Maybe I should have seen her somewhat selfish ways long before our 14 year marriage ended. When i think back now about what life would be like if i was still married to her, I just thank god for change that was forced on me. Once again I was able to me me...I learned to like myself. You will be amazed at how different you view yourself when your away from a nagging, know it all SO. So I loook forward to the day for you, that you learn to hate. I guarantee there is a fine line between love and hate. When you pass over that line, you will see what I mean. For the time being be good to yourself, and don't give away the barn because you still love her, and think maybe you can get her back.It won't happen and you will wish someday you haden't made those decisions. also don't be surprised if you end up with a better relationship with your children. I pray for you that one day you will stand up and say...."Thank-you Jesus"...Steve Martin in leap of faith...good luck...hang in there ...take a trip to TJ.....

life is short live it!

Derf
If it fly's floats or fucks, rent it

Speaking as someone who also decided to move out of a house (divorce), I can tell you that it all gets better.

Kiss's
MISSY LYNN