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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
13-Mar-10, 01:09 AM (PST)
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"seeking Advice???"
 
Do You Think a man would Accept Me in this Line of work ???
Do I keep It from him??? Or Should I just Wait To get involved in a relationship when i decide to Stop This business. I guess Im Asking Because I dont Date Black Men ive been dating out of my culture for quite a while Now & i like it an im starting to get lonely so just seeking advice because this could be Addicting Thats Why I make They Money I dont Let The money Make ME But What i dont want is to start a Relationship an the end results is me alone because i allowed my line of work to get in the way of my relationship

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Derf Derf rating
Charter Member
1471 posts, 10 feedbacks, 19 points
13-Mar-10, 06:10 AM (PST)
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1. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
If you start a relationship on a lie,I think it is destine to fail and get ugly in the process. My opinion for what it is worth.
Derf

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
13-Mar-10, 11:56 PM (PST)
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4. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #1
 
yeah i actually find it had to express this to a person if i plan on being involed but the last thing i want to do is build a relationship on a lie so i figure if i do decide to start dating i would certainly speak on my line of work from the moment we meet better sooner then later instead of having to deal with a broken heart thanks...

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Fernleyguy Fernleyguy rating
Member since 12-Dec-09
301 posts, 4 feedbacks, 7 points
13-Mar-10, 09:26 AM (PST)
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2. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
   Speaking from a guys perspective, I'd want to know about your past pretty much up front.

I think that after a few dates, you'd know if the guy would be willing to accept the fact or not.

I might be the exception here, but I'm pretty open-minded, and wouldn't really care all that much what you have done in the past. I would tend to concentrate on the me-and-you.

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
14-Mar-10, 00:18 AM (PST)
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6. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #2
 
Ah Sweetie thank you so much ...
I never said make it my past that's just it like i want a relationship but i still want to work. An I'm not sure if the guys willing to accept me if I'm not willing to give up this profession and whats worse is if he do finds out this is one of my hobbies hes really going to be upset if he thinks I'm easy lol...

i think I'll just wait because right now i have bills & I'm in school i actually know a few men who would love to be apart of my life but i do have standards and one of them is if you consider yourself my man then i shouldnt have to work in this line of business do to the fact a man could never call me his woman if he doesn't have what it takes i mean escort or not I'm a woman above anything i do an first thing first he must qualify ... thanks for your advice even more so thanks for listening

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thruxton thruxton rating
Member since 7-Jun-08
355 posts, 5 feedbacks, 9 points
14-Mar-10, 10:56 AM (PST)
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7. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #6
 

>I never said make it my past that's just it like i want a
>relationship but i still want to work. ...
>
>i think I'll just wait because... i do have standards and one of them is
>if you consider yourself my man then i shouldnt have to work
>in this line of business


i get mixed messages from that??? but it sounds like you should tell a guy straight up that you want to quit the biz and go on his wallet. it's a sugar start, though, and probably unrealistic to expect it to become real

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dark_mirror dark_mirror rating
Member since 23-Apr-05
1162 posts, 21 feedbacks, 39 points
13-Mar-10, 10:51 AM (PST)
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3. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
>Do You Think a man would Accept Me in this Line of work ???

This line of work is not like you are a psychologist, or a counselor therapist. That is, if after a few dates, you tell him what kind of job you do, it will be a different reaction.

I would be of the opinion of been truthful upfront and quick. That will also reduce the amount of bonding you may have already developed. It is unfortunately that you have to risk his rejection, but I believe it is the correct way to do things. If he accepts you after that, and you will probably quit after, then you have a much better start in your relationship. If you plan to continue, it requires a most strong character, on his part, to learn to accept it. Not all men can.

Should you decide to lie, and hide your job, you cannot guarantee that he will never discover it, and if he ever does, it will surely be the end of the relationship, or at least, it will put a major dent in trust on it.

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
14-Mar-10, 00:00 AM (PST)
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5. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #3
 
you conld have not said it a better way because one thing i hate is rejection so id perfer to be rejected from the moment I'm honest least that way i wouldnt be left broken hearted great advice thanks

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chaos_ratedxxx chaos_ratedxxx rating
Member since 20-Aug-03
339 posts, 21 feedbacks, 42 points
22-Mar-10, 00:15 AM (PST)
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10. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #5
 
Look you started this post by saying that, you don't date blacks, which is your choice, but why even speak on it? Was it suppose to entice all the other nationalities of men, so they would find you desirable and really want you? Well let me tell you something, and I'm saying this to you, not because I'm and Black myself but because I'm real with who I am. If you can't find acceptance with all, including those that look like you, then how can you expect to find acceptance from others, that don't even know your ass. I don't know if you have personal reason's for not dating within your own race or being in this line of work even, but I've seen your ads, and if was as judgmental as you are with that,” I don't date black men comment", then I would say that you lie, you do let the money make you, because if you didn't, then, WHY IN THE FUCK ARE YOU ON HERE ANYWAY, REDBOOK THAT IS............P.S. Somewhere along the way, you should think about taking an English class, before you make other say , they don't want to date you, not because you're Black, but because you're ignorant.....


Chaos has left the building

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mahogony
Member since 11-Oct-09
74 posts
24-Mar-10, 00:12 AM (PST)
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14. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #10
 
   Ouch!!!! did you have to cut her so deep, but the truth hurts.....

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
26-Mar-10, 02:43 PM (PST)
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17. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #14
 
Yea that did hurt But right now i'm on vacation in Hawaii Waikiki enjoying life i dont have time Life is short Black men I'll always love guess i havent found the right one lol...i'll find him in june the start of summer in New York City LOL An Aloha From Waikiki

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
26-Mar-10, 02:35 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #10
 
Dam chaos i dont want no problems...lol its all lovei mean i do have my reasons TMI And Aloha from Hawaii Waikiki

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JustJami JustJami rating
Member since 21-Nov-08
622 posts, 22 feedbacks, 30 points
08-Jul-10, 01:14 PM (PST)
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30. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #3
 
   The hard part about telling it upfront is some men will stay because they assume that means you are easy or they can live off your money since they put up with what you do.

I think it is just too hard to find a Good man who will accept what you do and still treat you like a lady.

I have had relationships where I thought it was going well, then first argument he's callin you a hoe. Well obviously he didn't truly accept it. It's very hard to trust men in this business.

I think I'm just gonna find a girlfriend. lol

Jami

It's my business doing pleasure with you!

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spacewanderer spacewanderer rating
Charter Member
4012 posts, 9 feedbacks, 12 points
14-Mar-10, 03:03 PM (PST)
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8. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
   First of all, you don't date 'out of your culture', you date guys from different races, and it is OK to say that.

Your best bet would be to be honest about your profession right up front so that the guys with whom you are showing a mutual interest can decide for themselves whether or not they want to proceed. Now, there is always the possibility of starting up with someone who is cool at first about your business but who then starts to change his mind about it. You'll have to be ready from the get-go to tell such fellows that they can either support through a change in careers or take a hike. Perhaps the best option would be to consciously keep any relationships you have on a casual, not committed basis for your duration of your career. That means both you and your partners being comfortable with not being "exclusive".

Best of luck to you.

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MongerAlmighty MongerAlmighty rating
Member since 22-Aug-07
2144 posts, 23 feedbacks, 34 points
15-Mar-10, 09:15 AM (PST)
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9. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
   I think the only guys that will be accepting of your job would be those you meet on the job. There are lots of stories on RB of guy and providers dating successfully, and even a few that went on to a LTR.

Just out of curiousity, you said you've been dating out of your culture and are lonely. Why don't you date black guys?

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MRPLN MRPLN rating
Member since 2-Mar-07
457 posts, 2 feedbacks, 4 points
22-Mar-10, 01:16 AM (PST)
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11. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
"I guess Im Asking Because I dont Date Black Men "

I agree with chaos_ratedxxx. I don't know why you added that to your question. Seems very off topic and race is no importance to the question you asked. As for the question at hand. If you start a relationship based on a lie, well it's not going to work because it's based off deception. Also you mentioned the money could be addicting. When it gets down to it, choosing money over a relationship. Thats a decision only you can make. If you're active in this industry I wouldn't start a relationship and not tell the guy. Just doesn't seem right to lead someone on and you may hurt them down the line.


MRPLN SEMPER FI

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culo
Member since 18-Oct-08
964 posts
22-Mar-10, 11:13 AM (PST)
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12. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
  
This is a monger board. Every one of us mongers has either cheated on an SO or is seriously thinking about it. Yes, I realize that there is a small minority of single mongers.

We may be the LAST resource one would seek for advice on a LTR.

But if you go that way, you should let your potential SO know what you do, and it should be sooner rather than later.


culo is a culo

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Shit_Bag Shit_Bag rating
Charter Member
3266 posts, 16 feedbacks, 31 points
22-Mar-10, 01:17 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #12
 
if he does not accept what you do, then he is not the person for you, or he does not really love you. If I were in his shoes and I cared about you, truly cared about you, I would overlook any shortcomings. Call me old fashioned, or plain stupid, but I believe if you love someone it does not matter what they are doing or have done, as long as they love you back.

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sensualdiva_numb1 sensualdiva_numb1 rating
Member since 28-Jun-04
1768 posts, 14 feedbacks, 26 points
24-Mar-10, 08:38 PM (PST)
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15. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #13
 

>I guess Im Asking Because I dont Date Black Men ive been dating out >of my culture for quite a while Now

What in D-hell are you talking about? Men are men baby...

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VANILLASHLEY VANILLASHLEY rating
Member since 1-Aug-03
2187 posts, 74 feedbacks, 144 points
26-Mar-10, 08:39 PM (PST)
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18. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
   just a thought..you cannot be in a real relationship with anyone and still be a
Whore. It just doesnt work. So I advise you to not even trip off that, just make your money. See I was born to be a whore, that relationship ish is for the birds. But I just really want to know why don't you date black men when you are black?of course to each its own but that is a common statement amongst providers. I love my black man...all men

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
26-Mar-10, 08:51 PM (PST)
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19. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #18
 
black men feel the need to put they bid in while dating what i mean is every black man ive dated whats a percentage% thats why so maybe i havent found the right on one

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MRPLN MRPLN rating
Member since 2-Mar-07
457 posts, 2 feedbacks, 4 points
26-Mar-10, 10:27 PM (PST)
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20. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #19
 
Yep, sounds like you looking in the wrong places or attracting the wrong ones. Black, white or whom ever your attracted to, you just need to be straight forward with them from the get go.

MRPLN SEMPER FI

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
27-Mar-10, 12:55 PM (PST)
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21. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #20
 
Oh I will Any man in my life will know from the gate take it or leave it thanks guys an lets not forget chaos lol...

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chaos_ratedxxx chaos_ratedxxx rating
Member since 20-Aug-03
339 posts, 21 feedbacks, 42 points
27-Mar-10, 04:41 PM (PST)
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22. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #21
 
LAST EDITED ON 27-Mar-10 AT 04:47 PM (PST)
 
LOL, ok you took the higher road, but let's remember, I'm defending everyone as well when I'm standing up for for those the are being singled out for whatever reason....

P.S. Way to bring it home VANILLASHLEY & sensualdiva_numb1(with your big headed azz lol, you know I luv you babe, I still want my dog back), I loved both your post......

Chaos has left the building

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
27-Mar-10, 08:00 PM (PST)
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23. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #22
 
LAST EDITED ON 27-Mar-10 AT 08:01 PM (PST)
 
Oh sweetie im not big headed but i love big heads lol... you stood up for what you believe in i admire that keep up the good work we need more men like that in the world if we did it'll be a better place Aloha xoxo,

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rachelsonoma1
Member since 18-Jan-10
17-Apr-10, 11:09 PM (PST)
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24. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
   My boyfriend has accepted what I do. It wasn't easy at first. He had never had a polyamorous woman. He felt jealous when I had sessions and let me know. I responded with compassion, saying maybe I am asking too much of you, asking you to accept this.

I was very up front about everything, answering questions, but refrained from putting it in his face. The reward is we are madly in love. Life is too short to miss out on devotion to the right person.

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hulaboy1 hulaboy1 rating
Member since 7-Dec-09
258 posts, 6 feedbacks, 4 points
21-Apr-10, 11:57 PM (PST)
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25. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
   that a something we all much face at one point-providers and clients. do we get involved? some guys can handle it and some can't. it's all about choices and understanding.

'would a guy accept me..?' yes, they would; for sex, money or whatever. other guys? no, they'll freak out.

me? that's a very difficult question. have i meet a someone who i like and enjoy spending time with? 'yes'. would i like to date them? 100% would i be able to handle it-if they were still providing? i really don't know. she's a total dream-smart, fun, sweet, sexy...but i until that happens....who know?

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LickedHerPuss LickedHerPuss rating
Member since 30-Mar-10
189 posts, 4 feedbacks, 8 points
22-Apr-10, 11:53 AM (PST)
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26. "A man?"
In response to message #0
 
   Yes, but the difficulty will be finding The Man. Too many say they can handle it, but when push comes to shove they will be the first to throw it in your face.

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thetakeover thetakeover rating
Member since 12-Aug-08
1032 posts, 31 feedbacks, 60 points
01-Jul-10, 08:20 PM (PST)
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28. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #0
 
Everyone walks a different path in life. I find the RB ladies interesting because they've walked a path that is different than mine. Not that I would try to date one. It depends, if this new man of yours is open to this type of relationship, but I'm sure more ways they are not...its a slippery slope(no pun intended). But if you are really into him and you think he may be the one, then its probably better for him to know. If its one of those relationship that doesn't last, I would tell a white lie. Bottom line, If he doesn't accept you for who you are, than its not worth your time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDl3bdE3YQA

Live. Love. Play. Relax.

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69flavors
Member since 27-Feb-10
583 posts
07-Jul-10, 10:34 PM (PST)
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29. "RE: seeking Advice???"
In response to message #28
 
you're right! hey great song, thanks but um i think i'd be single for now... lol an let love find me... if you know what i mean lol...

Chocolate Gorgeous Ebony Baby Doll

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