Another concern, the issue around dating/not-dating clients, seems to revolve heavily around concerns that fantasy will be replaced with real world implications, and the various work that goes into maintaining a non-provider/client relationship. In this way, a relationship built on fantasy may not transcend the bridge to reality very well. One generalization for this that is simplified but carries some truth, and is dependent on a myriad of factors, is that intimacy can be wonderful, but also taxing. My guess is that many people see providers for this very reason; as a temporary escape. I'm sure that seeing a provider can be wonderful and therapeutic, sharing some sexual intimacy without the 'daily-grind' or even baggage per say, and is certainly much more satisfactory and healthy than the many 'escapes' that are out there. However, the likelihood for this 'once a week, hour long intimacy' (or whatever your particular arrangement) to transition into daily relationship-based interactions, is complex and notably difficult to say the least, which is why there seems to be a general understanding to shy away from it, as it is such a vastly different arrangement from that of provider/client.

Another concern is that actually dating providers may come out of it's own sense of fantasy, much like a fetish, such that if a provider wishes to move on in their line of work, whether through schooling or day jobs as examples, that this could also end the interests of their partner. The difference here is that unlike many fetishes, providing is one's livelihood, rather than something they do on weekends, going out to a club, etc. While it may be an aspect of their identity, there are many reasons why people begin and continue to provide, and it is entirely possible and probable they will transition out of that role, and that identity, in time. However, will a provider who's perhaps been escorting and moves on to another line of work, still have an interest in casual sex, or sex outside of a primary relationship, say through swinging, open relationships, or any of the other number of ways? Possibly, but not certainly. In this respect, that change in an individual may not carry over successfully with a partner who may have been with them because they enjoyed, and were turned on by, the aspect of them being a sex worker.

Although there is much more to discuss in the realm of relations, such as the dynamics of sugar daddies/mommies and who they're helping/supporting, and non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships, I'll stop here for now.

With this as a basic template, I encourage both providers and clients to submit their thoughts and experiences, comments about the above generalizations, ways in which you were able to overcome them individually or as a couple, if that was a goal, etc.

Lastly, I'd like to offer a little background about myself, as I have my own experiences here. I'm a former sex worker, having worked several years in the past as a dom and escort for men. I've also worked in bath houses, and in adult video (gay, straight, bdsm, trans, and queer video) predominantly as crew (production and post-production) but occasionally as talent. I'm queer/bisexual identified, am 38 years old and have been polyamorous and nonmonagamous in all of my adult relationships over the years, and have transitioned out of sex work and video tech work to pursue my interests in medicine.

I'm very sex/expression positive, and have had the pleasure of dating sex workers before (mainly escorts and video talent, as opposed to doms and strippers - no reason, just my experiences and my exposure). I'm not at all a jealous person, and in fact very much love hearing about the various dates and exploits of my partners. I prize honesty, respect, communication, and equality in romantic and platonic relationships. Obviously though, sexuality is a big part of compatibility, and in terms of relationships, is the crux of my focus here for providers and their partners.

I think I've rambled on enough for now.
I look forward to hearing your feedback.
Thanks!!

A Happy Trick Makes a Happy Hoe.

That one's just precious...

http://happyendingz.blogspot.com/2010/04/dear-cj.html

In a nutshell, she describes dating an erotic massage therapist in 5 stages

Stage 1 - The Turn On
Stage 2 - Distrust
Stage 3 - Jealousy
Stage 4 - Accusations
Stage 5 - Breakup

Anyhow, it's an interesting read, and I'm curious if providers have noticed past relationships following that trajectory.

Providers beware: If you get a phone call from a JAY M (510 area code), 62 year old Caucasian male from Pittsburg, CA, who tends to schedule late-night, weekly appts, please think twice before setting an appointment. He likes to target certain women, gain their trust and love, give empty promises, and then without even a blink of the eye, break your heart.

Maybe there are some relationships that will work out between providers and their partners, but as a person speaking with experience, it probably will not.