On to my real question, given that hobbying essentially ruined my marriage, am wondering if there is a chance that I could give it up should I meet someone....I don't think so, and thus the dilemma. I really don't want to go down this path again of being in a relationship and hobbying on the side...fortunately there is a married woman that I am spending time with, and maybe I can start hitting that and then I wouldn't have to worry about the guilt of hobbying.

You already destroyed your own marriage and you're busy trying to figure out how to destroy your lady friend's marriage too. Do you really need our help answering that question?

I don't know how old you are, but there's also the possibility of waiting a few years until you're mature enough to make decisions to have an SO and be able to stick with that.

Or, if you absolutely must, then get an SO and become more skilled at hiding your hobbying from her. But that's an unwise strategy to undertake.

Be the change
you wish to see

you may have the coolidge effect and thus should never bother dating real women. is your question really about saving money?

What I read is that you want regular/frequent sex. You don't mention an emotional commitment to said GF/SO, but you mention guilt for hobby. IMO . . .
...sex is not a reason to get married or have a GF.
...desire for sex is not a reason to feel guilty.
...if you want sex, search for sex.
...if you want an emotional connection, get a GF.

**'hitting' the married women alleviates guilt from hobby but what about guilt of potentially breaking up her marriage??? (IMO, logic says you shouldn't feel guilty about either or feel guilty about both. I'm with the former.)

An alternative solution might be to find a long-term f-ck buddy or GF who seeks open-ended relationship. If not, you're only repeating the same thing.

To me, it sounds like you have something else to flush out.

Finally, why is it that you think hobbying "ruined your marriage"?
...Did she find out you were hobbying?
...Did you get a goodly amount of sex in marriage and just want a variety? (have cake and eat too)
...Did she not want sex with you (or only certain acts) and you sought out sex elsewhere? (if so, why is that solely your fault?)

Show appreciation, do nice things for her. It doesn't have to cost money. When a guy stops at the side of the road, picks a wildflower, gives it to me, and tells me that it pales in comparison to my beauty, that is a good day.

I do relationship counseling which has resulted from providing to men who thought they needed Domination but really needed counseling to make their relationships work. Inbox me if you want to talk about it.

If mongering ruined your marriage already, and you have not been able to control your mongering when you tried - then I predict you are not going to succeed this time either. The old bromide that the 'right' girl can cure you is BS.

I suggest you get yourself right before you venture into an LTR with someone. Once you have your head on straight, then you look for the girl. Trying to do it any other way will lead to disaster.

I go thru phases. I play it straight and date straight girls. Then I switch to mongering. Then back. Mixing the two is a recipe for disaster.

culo is a culo

"fortunately there is a married woman that I am spending time with"

Leave that shit alone!!!!! Don't shit in another mans litter box

"hobbying essentially ruined my marriage"

Go seek therapy if you really want change in your life!!!!!!

I know for me as long as I'm hobbying there is almost no chance for me to be in a real relationship!!!!

It is most likely the same for you as well.