Derf

I would just make an appointment with a paralegal and agree to sign a dissolution judgement; it's cheaper than getting lawyers involved.

If it's an amicable split - it's the best way to go.

I wanted out so bad 6 years ago, I just took some chump change from the equity in the house, my financial services business - and left him with everything else.

That fella showed up on my doorstep 10 years ago with a computer, some clothes - and I gave him nearly all that I had built just to get away from that mess.

Friends and family say I "took it like a man." lol

Best of luck to you.

Divorce - no matter how bad you want it - is never "easy."

It's always Summer at my place! xoxo

We can also advise you to walk up to a wall and start pounding your head against it. Because that is what you will be doing if you don't at least talk to an attorney.

If you want it to be amicable, just both go see and talk to the same attorney. It is not a matter of fighting, but not getting screwed inadvertently.

No matter which way you slice it, you will be spending some money.

I would. If you do not get a attorney you very well maybe be kicking your self years later for it.

Stop and think about it in a logical way, you're getting a Divorce. It is very rare to see two people end a marriage with their ex's partners best interest in mind.

There will be a lot of bad feelings come from both of you from here on out. What ever you agree to now will be used against you in the future.

Ok that's my two cents

2) Support is set by a formula in CA. It is based on your income, her income, mitigating factors. How long you pay is determined by length of marriage. Rule of thumb is half the length marriage for marriages less than 10 yrs. Open ended for LT marriages. See wht the formula gives you before agreeing to her demands.

3) CA is community property. Meaning a 50/50 split of all property gained during the course of the marriage.

It sounds like you had a LT marriage. So fight against paying alimony since it will be an open ended decree - meaning that you will pay a long time. In fact you will pay until you can apply for a modification many years from now. So it may not seem to bad now, 10 years from now you will feel like you are paying for a dead cow.

The tendency is to give in. Guilt? Fatigue? DON'T cave, bargain hard. She is, and you should too. She will lay all sorts of head games on you. Don't fall for it. See is no longer your wife or partner. She is your adversary. She didn't fuck you when you were married, so don't let her fuck you now.

culo is a culo

Let me repeat for emphasis:

WIFE FILED AND I PICKED UP THE PAPERS

Sorry to engage in internet yelling. This means that she and you did not sit down and agree to a amicable divorce and decide to have a joint lawyer or mediator to assist you through the process and meet legal requirements. That option is now closed.

You need to get an attorney who is a certified family law specialist. And hopefully she has a GOOD attorney who is also a family law specialist. Make it clear to your attorney that you don't want to take advantage of her you just don't want her to take advantage of you. It's the fight that runs up the billing for legal service. Bottom line there is nothing your attorney will know that her attorney won't know and ViceVersa . That is why I said, hopefully she has a good attorney, its cheaper in the long run.

As pointed out California support payments is basically formula driven and what was each of your separate property is yours and hers respectively. What came after is 50/50 split. The issue can be complicated in determining just what did belong to who.

If you can pull it off, see if you can figure what the monthly support payments would be over time and negotiate a lump sum payment by adjusting how much more you would giver her out of your share of community property entitlement. The advantage of this is that the court will have no jurisdiction over future support payments to raise it should her situation change. You can better financially plan and don't have to be tied to each other over money issues.

There are a lot of other considerations to much to talk about here in a post.

Good luck. When it is done, look forward to a most enjoyable life. I love my life now.

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Too much sex is still not enough