LAST EDITED ON 24-Jul-10 AT 10:01 AM (PST)
The little one and the SO are still sleeping and I actually had the time to read "The ladder theory".The guy who writes this stuff is brilliant on so many levels - but wrong on some points (of course) as well.
One thing I can tell you he is DEAD ON about is that once a girl puts you into the "just friends" category - you stay there unless she's drunk and lonely enough to let you fuck her.
Cuddle (the author of the "The Ladder Theory" uses the term "bitches" due to his disdain for the position - which he's probably occupied countless times) "friends" - are what you are when we're not in a love-relationship and don't physically desire you.
However, there are men I've fallen in love with that were simply intelligent, fun, could pull their own financial weight (very important to a single/divorced mother) and would swim through shark-infested waters for me.
Those are the men that most of women end up with.
Looks, sex-drive, income...these things don't matter as much as the ability and WILLINGNESS to do be a wonderful friend, partner, confidant and lover.
So many things make up what is "attractive" to women....
and it's not necessarily the societal norm for physical attractiveness.
It may be the curve of his lips when he smiles, the glint of his teeth, the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you a certain way, the way he makes you laugh, the taper of his fingers, the way he smacks you on the ass every time you're making dinner or stepping over the threshold to your home, all of your discussions about God, philosophy, LIFE, the way he treats your family and children...so MANY THINGS go together to make a man "ATTRACTIVE" to us.
Conversely, I've dated really gorgeous men who also made REALLY good money - and they "did nothing for me (emotionally)."
Because while the really handsome/rich man may love the way you suck his cock, can discuss any subject, loves your cooking, etc...
In my experience, he's ultimately looking for a hotter chick who DOESN'T have children.
I made the decision to "date for real" purely by fate. I was on a bowling league (one of the few nights a week my daughter was with my parents outside of me running the massage houses 8am-6pm).
I thought there was no one that could understand the life I'd chosen out of desperation/to support two households, etc - so didn't bother dating anyone "for real."
He was on my bowling league, just a regular, blue-collar guy...made me laugh...an all-around good person. I met him two years ago and was honest about my business from the begining.
Of course, when we got serious and he proposed - I eliminated FS but kept a configuration of offerings that made both myself and my clientele happy.
It was a year of dating before I introduced him to my little one and they are like "peanut butter and jelly."
He never had a child of his own - so he laughs that he got to "skip all the diaper changing and just got a great daughter instead."
Single mothers date "for real" with different motivations in mind than women without children do.
As for the "extras" I still offer in my CMT/FBSM business? I'm taking the extra 500 hours above and beyond my CMT so I can work with health plans and eventually take my ads down; he's retraining through a new union.
He doesn't ask, I don't tell - and we move forward with common goals in mind.
As for the ladder system?
Yes - women have TWO "ladders" - but sometimes those ladders cross and you get everything you ever wanted in a partner and more. 
It's always Summer at my place! xoxo
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, 20-Jun-10, 10:00 PM, (1)
