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Jillian_Bailey
Member since 30-Mar-06
62 posts		 09-Jul-10, 04:55 PM (PST)
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"He Killed My Rose Bushes"
 
LAST EDITED ON 09-Jul-10 AT 04:58 PM (PST)
 
Guys and Gals,

I have an elderly male neighbor that was spotted pouring something on my rose bushes. I did not want to believe it; I dismissed it and replied that he was just helping me take care of my garden. Now that all my rose bushes are brown and yellow he knocks on my door a few times a week bringing me flowers. I’m starting to think that this was his motive all along.

I forgive him for killing my rose bushes (because he’s elderly) but I don’t want to accept the flowers anymore.

How or should I tell him that I’m just not comfortable being neighborly with him?

TIA,
Jillian Bailey

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cons_man cons_man rating
Member since 13-Mar-06
2545 posts, 42 feedbacks, 81 points		 09-Jul-10, 05:35 PM (PST)
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1. "Look him in the eyes and ask him:"
In response to message #0
 
   "Did you kill my rose bushes so you can bring me flowers? Despicable."

Make her job easier-be a fuckable john.

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194670
Member since 5-Sep-08
4974 posts		 09-Jul-10, 10:48 PM (PST)
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2. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
Why not just say:

"Sorry I’m just not comfortable being neighborly with you!!!!!"

Some times being direct and to the point works best.

Please know I'm in no way telling you to be rude to this man. Just let him know that you would rather not be bothered by him any more.

If he is from the Baby boomer generation then he most likely will respect that the fact you have been direct and to the point.

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notmeithink
Member since 22-Feb-09
7268 posts		 10-Jul-10, 00:36 AM (PST)
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3. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
   Next time he comes over pour some Drano on his head.

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Abigail_Bangs Abigail_Bangs rating
Member since 15-Aug-09
325 posts, 37 feedbacks, 70 points		 29-Jul-10, 00:06 AM (PST)
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19. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #3
 
   I literally laughed out loud at the mental image that comment put into my head. Lmao. "Pour Drano on his head" hahaaa


**if you let me, you won't forget me**

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Joe_da_Ho Joe_da_Ho rating
Member since 13-Oct-06
439 posts, 4 feedbacks, 7 points		 10-Jul-10, 06:06 AM (PST)
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4. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
Creepy!!!

Just be straight with him. Hopefully he takes it well. Guy sounds like he's got issues

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Fernleyguy Fernleyguy rating
Member since 12-Dec-09
316 posts, 5 feedbacks, 9 points		 10-Jul-10, 08:49 AM (PST)
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5. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
   The other side of the coin;

Possibly the stuff he poured on your roses was supposed to help them, not kill them. When he saw they were dying, he brought you flowers to make up for it.

I'm not saying this is what actually happened, just a possibility.

In reality though, It's entirely possible that this is his way of getting the hottie next door into his bed.

Saying something like 'thanks, but I've got plenty of flowers around here, I really don't need any more. My boyfriend brings me lots of them' might discourage him.

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Jillian_Bailey
Member since 30-Mar-06
62 posts		 10-Jul-10, 11:22 AM (PST)
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6. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #5
 
<Possibly the stuff he poured on your roses was supposed to
help them, not kill them. When he saw they were dying, he
brought you flowers to make up for it.>

This is what I'm going to believe despite what my other neighbors are saying. He used to bring me sweet rolls and hard candy until I told him that I really do not eat sweets. He then started bringing me tea and fresh lemons from his tree.

Even though the other neighbors do not like him, I've always thought that he is very nice.

Thanks for the feedback everyone,
Jillian Bailey

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sojo sojo rating
Charter Member
1618 posts, 3 feedbacks, 5 points		 10-Jul-10, 11:12 PM (PST)
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7. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #6
 
I agree with Fernleyguy. I think he was trying to help your flowers and screwed up.

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arbiez_temp arbiez_temp rating
Charter Member
3288 posts, 55 feedbacks, 104 points		 11-Jul-10, 01:06 AM (PST)
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8. "Another option . . ."
In response to message #6
 
   JB,

Perhaps you could just say, "You know I thank you for the flowers, but cut flowers die out so quickly and these must cost a fortune. It might save you a few bucks and I can regrow my garden if instead of flowers, maybe a few packets of rose plant seeds? What do you think?"

This way you get to see if he . . .
• owns up to the issue
• thought he was helping or did purposely as an "in" roads to more
• willing to truly resolve issue
**You also get to see if he is a nice guy or the neighbors are right and he's a creep disguised as a nice guy.

Another (cynical) thought . . .
• Does he know about "Jillian" or "Jillian's" *nom de plume*?

Tread lightly until you know more.

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cons_man cons_man rating
Member since 13-Mar-06
2545 posts, 42 feedbacks, 81 points		 11-Jul-10, 05:12 AM (PST)
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9. "Ah-ha! Inspiration"
In response to message #5
 
   >Saying something like 'thanks, but I've got plenty of
>flowers around here, I really don't need any more. My
>boyfriend brings me lots of them' might discourage him.

"BTW, he'd really appreciate if you bring us some lobsters next time."

Make her job easier-be a fuckable john.

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OriginalCyn OriginalCyn rating
Member since 5-Dec-06
5121 posts, 77 feedbacks, 147 points		 05-Sep-10, 06:24 PM (PST)
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23. "RE: Ah-ha! Inspiration"
In response to message #9
 
..talk dorky to me baby.

cons you're so bad.

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Rocco32
Member since 19-Oct-09
121 posts, Rate Rocco32		 12-Jul-10, 08:24 AM (PST)
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10. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
I would be surprised if he would try to kill your roses but you could ask him if he was "helping" with them and ask he talk with you before "helping" again. He might have simply over fertilized them.

I have an elderly widow as neighbor, she must be close to 90 and doesn't always make sense. I try to be as patient with her as possible. I know how thankful I was to have a nice couple live next to my mom for the last 10 years of her life. They would give her a hand from time to time. As people get older they travel in smaller circles and sometimes don't get out too much. Talking to you might be the high point of his day.

If he shows up with his zipper down and flowers, I'm sure you can tactfully find a way to send him back home.

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Jillian_Bailey
Member since 30-Mar-06
62 posts		 12-Jul-10, 11:55 AM (PST)
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12. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #10
 
LAST EDITED ON 12-Jul-10 AT 12:10 PM (PST)
 
<I have an elderly widow as neighbor, she must be close to 90
and doesn't always make sense.>

I need to keep this in mind.

Thanks,
Jillian Bailey

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Rocco32
Member since 19-Oct-09
121 posts		 12-Jul-10, 12:08 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #12
 
Everybody will have different thresholds when it comes to dealing with these types of encounters. It sounds as though he has connected with you. Just do your best to maintain your boundaries and be as compassionate as possible. Hopefully we all will get to the golden years and be surrounded....mostly by nice, caring and patient people.

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BoneDonor BoneDonor rating
Charter Member
4150 posts, 19 feedbacks, 29 points		 20-Jul-10, 10:50 PM (PST)
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18. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #10
 
>He might have simply
>over fertilized them.

Some guys have that habit, you know...

BoneDonor

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YogiBear
Member since 3-Aug-07
77 posts		 12-Jul-10, 10:57 AM (PST)
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11. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
   Don't accept the flowers. Just tell him that you prefer to enjoy your flowers in the garden and not in the house.

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kalem kalem rating
Member since 1-May-05
13396 posts, 46 feedbacks, 77 points		 13-Jul-10, 01:46 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
   Just ask the guy already what he did and why. (Why ask us whether you should ask him? It's clearly weighing on your mind.)

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Jillian_Bailey
Member since 30-Mar-06
62 posts		 14-Jul-10, 12:44 PM (PST)
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15. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #14
 
<(Why ask us whether you should ask him? It's clearly weighing on your
mind.)>

I asked for opinions on our board because I wanted objective and alternative advice. There are a lot of intelligent and wise people that read these forums.

Have a great rest of the week ,
Jillian Bailey

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Nemo69 Nemo69 rating
Charter Member
1763 posts, 17 feedbacks, 30 points		 14-Jul-10, 04:20 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #15
 
   So what happened?

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kalem kalem rating
Member since 1-May-05
13396 posts, 46 feedbacks, 77 points		 18-Jul-10, 08:05 PM (PST)
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17. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #15
 
   Asking him what he did is an open-ended question, not an accusation.
That's always safe to ask.

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convtripower convtripower rating
Member since 20-Dec-07
352 posts, 10 feedbacks, 20 points		 30-Aug-10, 03:56 AM (PST)
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20. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
He's old and has one foot in the grave already...Just accept the flowers and tell him you'll place them on his grave someday soon!

Maybe that'll get him to go away

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thetakeover thetakeover rating
Member since 12-Aug-08
1047 posts, 30 feedbacks, 58 points		 30-Aug-10, 09:27 AM (PST)
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21. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 30-Aug-10 AT 10:06 AM (PST)
 
I know whats happening here....this elderly neighbor has been watching too many Pornos...he is trying to recreate the postman scenario with the lonely horny housewife, BOW, CHIGGA, BOW, BOW, but now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

What I would suggest you do is the next he comes by with flowers...wear some revealing clothes...but put some fake red warts all over your body and start coughing trying to look sexy...also, with better effect put like an upside down cross on your forehead with fake blood in your hand...tell him you've been into some new religion and you need more flowers...thank him and tell him to come by more often with flowers...he'll get the message not come by anymore.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDt7gBQnTYc

Live. Love. Play. Relax.

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human_genome human_genome rating
Charter Member
5594 posts, 27 feedbacks, 52 points		 05-Sep-10, 04:23 PM (PST)
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22. "So it's been a couple months"
In response to message #0
 
   Lots of considerate advice here... Curious as to what has transpired?

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CLingus
Member since 30-Apr-10
1243 posts		 06-Sep-10, 05:25 PM (PST)
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24. "Two words"
In response to message #0
 
Nuke 'em.

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escritic escritic rating
Charter Member
4759 posts, 31 feedbacks, 15 points		 13-Sep-10, 06:30 PM (PST)
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25. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 

1) Have you ever asked him what he poured onto your rose bushes?

2) Have you tested the soil sample or your rose bushes to find out what he actually poured onto your rose bushes?

If you did 1) and 2), you can figure out the rest.

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milkman31
Member since 19-Feb-04
 03-Oct-10, 05:31 PM (PST)
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26. "RE: He Killed My Rose Bushes"
In response to message #0
 
   Well, if its any consolation, I can bring your other rose bush back to life.

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Jillian_Bailey
Member since 30-Mar-06
62 posts		 03-Oct-10, 07:38 PM (PST)
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27. "Update"
In response to message #0
 
I had the dead rose bushes removed. But now I have a little thing going on with the landscaper. He's so nice, he put a red rose under my windshield scraper and he planted a yellow rose bush for free. He's good looking and charming and he is an athlete too.

I never asked my elderly neighbor what happened and in fact when he went on vacation I picked-up his mail.

Jillian Bailey

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