It is from the book Dune by Frank Herbert

and that is a quote from Bene Gesserit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bene_Gesserit

But think on the situation where someone you love and trust mutually enjoying sex with another man or woman.

without rejecting or discounting her as unfit for your love or running away from this image. I believe it is a meditation/ mind exercise hobbyists and providers alike could benefit from.

Good one!

tra

LOVE IS THE ANSWER!

If I was dating some xxx starlet I most likely wouldn't mind. But with some girl I met at Safeway then the answer would probably be a big "no".

Don't know how many of "us" have dated providers (maybe not bf gf but close to it)and contiune seeing them while their still providing?
It happens.

HB

Some do, just like the women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBFBZb-B3Vo

Live. Love. Play. Relax.

Dude! This is the Relationships and Dating forum. You must be confused or something.

This would be much harder to deal with in terms of love and attention division issues. Women didn't constantly complained about her SO or hinted our relationship will become monogamous one. It went on as is.

I also had other casual lovers and openly discussed about them with her.
She didn't show jealousy or insecurity. But when I left the country with another woman, it was hard on her.

To love someone deeply despite their sexual relationship with others is perhaps one of the biggest challenge for any loving soul. But if you could conquer jealousy, then you will come out as a rare winner and a liberator of your own limitations.

Do study carefully what providing really is. It is a simulation and enhancement of clients desire. Also the responsibility for management of time and session is on providers. Of-course any good provider would immerse self in the moment and good at enjoying the sensations that are available. ( thats is also part of the service BTW) But I know they are always in charge of the scene... like a director actress and stage hand all at the same time. She may also meet good clients for drinks or food after... This often upsets SOs. But if you think carefully, it is a good sign that she is working with safe and trustworthy client who view her as a person and are respectful....
but they are CLIENTS.

If you are provider's beau, you may attract some strange attention from other providers or clients, some woman may approach you and offer freebies just to spread ugly gossip about you and your provider
GF. It is best to keep your relationship and private lives away and secret from RB at that point.

Also don't assume you can hobby after your relationship is established. She may want you for herself only. Plus she will no longer be smiling, always horny provider, she may not want sex after long day of work and she may not look all made up and pretty like you used to know her. In short she will be your girl friend, wife or so
just like any woman who loves you.

I have to say no. Usually I walk after finding out there is a 3rd party before of after I arrived, particularly if the woman is still with said 3rd party and may have no intention of separating.

>This would be much harder to deal with in terms of love and
>attention division issues. Women didn't constantly
>complained about her SO or hinted our relationship will
>become monogamous one. It went on as is.
>I also had other casual lovers and openly discussed about
>them with her. She didn't show jealousy or insecurity. But
>when I left the country with another woman, it was hard on her.

Perhaps she was just hiding her feelings, but I think it's the fact that you left permanently that left her feeling hurt.

>To love someone deeply despite their sexual relationship
>with others is perhaps one of the biggest challenge for any
>loving soul. But if you could conquer jealousy, then you
>will come out as a rare winner and a liberator of your own
>limitations.

I agree. If I were to start a relationship with a provider while she is working, it would be by far the most emotionally challenging situation I have ever faced in my life.

>Do study carefully what providing really is. It is a
>simulation and enhancement of clients desire. Also the
>responsibility for management of time and session is on
>providers. Of-course any good provider would immerse self in
>the moment and good at enjoying the sensations that are
>available. ( thats is also part of the service BTW) But I
>know they are always in charge of the scene... like a
>director actress and stage hand all at the same time. She
>may also meet good clients for drinks or food after... This
>often upsets SOs. But if you think carefully, it is a good
>sign that she is working with safe and trustworthy client
>who view her as a person and are respectful....
>but they are CLIENTS.

That is something I think is the root of the problem of having a relationship with a provider. I was a CLIENT meeting her for food and drinks, then that eventually morphed into something serious. So how do I tell what's a business meeting and what's a date?

>If you are provider's beau, you may attract some strange
>attention from other providers or clients, some woman may
>approach you and offer freebies just to spread ugly gossip
>about you and your provider GF. It is best to keep your
>relationship and private lives away and secret from RB at
>that point.

I guess that's potentially another point of friction - the relationship has to be secret (from RB and potentially many others because I don't want my friends to become her clients - I guess they're really friends, huh?). And I do believe the relationship has to be in order to avoid further entanglement as you've said.

>Also don't assume you can hobby after your relationship is
>established. She may want you for herself only. Plus she

In some ways, I don't believe that is fair, unless somehow you can distinguish between business sex and recreational sex. It's all sex no matter how you look at it. I suppose this may imply that the relationship needs to be an open relationship, where we both are fully aware and condone the sex that we are having with other people.

>will no longer be smiling, always horny provider, she may
>not want sex after long day of work and she may not look all
>made up and pretty like you used to know her. In short she
>will be your girl friend, wife or so just like any woman who
>loves you.

I guess I am still struggling to understand what exactly can be used as a criteria to judge whether she (the provider) loves me and cares for me, and no other. Obviously, it is not fidelity. Then what? Can someone explain it to me?

Cifuinca:
As far as telling if they love YOU......trust me dude....if it happens to you, you'll know it in your heart. There is no doubt in my mind that they each loved me, but just like any normal relationship, sometimes things don't work out.

"Hooked on Crack"

"Hooked on Crack"

If you have sex several rounds daily, will you be interested in sex when you go home?

I am all for exclusive relationship, save ALL your sex energy for each other.

Happily ever after, still!

In the case of a working girl, she is not really having sex freely. She is getting paid to perform a service. It is work, and it is a chore. I am not sure she will want to have anyone touch her after she's been with 10+ guys already by the end of the day.

The problem with monogamy and marriage is that it is monotonous and boring. You have to do something fresh and new, or else it is definitely gonna die.

Happily ever after, still!

Too much private space sometimes leads you stray...
or sometimes you just grow apart.

Of course you say the answer is to strike a balance. Yes, but this is very difficult to achieve in reality bcause different people requires different amount of private space.

This is a hurdle I must achieve if I am to free myself and open my heart to her in any meaningful way.