I need to wear a watch.

I need to change my job.

After she leaves, I feel like I have an incredibly large headache. Is love supposed to be this way?

Figure this out and then move on.

---Longer answer---

IMO, she is not in love with you but rather in love with the fantasy of being in love with you (and your *potential*). She's in love with love and trying to mold you into that vision in her heart.

In short, she has a certain fantasy of what her man should be. You may have the physical appearance or personality, but not the "romantic" attributes. So she is trying to get you to fit into her ideal "fantasy" by . . .
...changing the job (so she can brag to her friends about what you do or earn more money to buy her things).
...The cologne reflects her passion or materialism. (either that or you need a shower or she thinks your cologne isn't that great or she wants "her man" to smell "her way"). FWIW, this is the least of your concerns. If the scent gets her hot and bothered, what is the problem???
...The watch could mean you're not prompt or it is her fantasy that her guy is "grown up" and wears a watch.
IOWs she wants to do a Jack Nicholson in the RomCom. She wants to feel that your changes will make you feel toward her the way Jack's character says to Helen Hunt's character; "You make me want to be a better me."
Well it's either that or she's looking for a daddy figure with a fat wallet.

Is that love? IMO no, that is fantasy and girls are raised to embrace that fantasy (and call it romance). But I'm rather cynical.

Questions that you should ask yourself:
1) If you were to feel miserable with her every day for the rest of your life, is there something redeeming about her that overrides that misery?
2) Will you like yourself if you make these changes?
3) If you rebuke her fantasy indulgences to maintain "you", does she stay?
4) Is this a person that you feel you can build out a partnership and that she'll support you in your endeavors as you will her endeavors?

If the answer to any of the questions is NO, then end it.

**BTW, we do the same thing often. Only it's about looks and sexual fulfillment disguised as romance.

---

If you would like to rectify the situation, you can simply tell her that...
1) Love the person, not the idea of being in love with that person (her current state).
2) You are you. Stop with the Ken doll BS. If she can't love you as you are, goodbye. (Don't worry about hurting her feelings--she obviously doesn't mind hurting yours.)
3) If she thinks you're not good enough as you are, she should find someone who meets the surface level criteria that she deems most important.

If you decide to continue, you need to negotiate and set some boundaries.

IMO, neither of you are ready for a relationship. To use "That 70s Show" as an analogy . . .
...She's being a Jackie. Jackies are girls.
(and this is important because you referred to her in the thread title as a girl)
...Have relationships with Donnas. Donnas are women.

In closing, hang out with girls have relationships with women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EgVsWFHrzs

Live. Love. Play. Relax.

HOWEVER, none of us here has NEARLY enough info about that girl and you to make intentionally helpful comments.

That said, I'll add this -- some men, often the best men, DO want to become better men. That's something to applaud, not deride. If you want to be a better man in the way she wants you to be, then go for it. That change will make you both closer to each other. Change is not bad just because it's change. But change IS bad if it takes you further away from your authentic self, IF you know what your authentic self is. Authentic self usually has little to do with fragrance, or an accessory, and half the time, it has little to do with your job, although for many, including myself, authentic self has a lot to do with my job, why I chose that career, and why I remained in that career.

Even if you break up with her, you may find yourself to be a better man for having been with her. I've noticed both in myself and others, that we often become improved individuals in some way or another after breaking up.

Maybe you should break up with her. But for chrissake, do NOT dig in your heels on the point of refusing to change your cologne, or refusing to wear a watch, or things like that, merely because of the symbolism of it, unless you prefer to be single. Lots of men, especially in older ages, come to the self realization that they have made all the changes they wish to, that they know who they are and why they are, and would rather be single than to change themselves for women. There's nothing wrong with that. If that's what you genuniely want to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbyP8gbb1hw

Be the change
you wish to see

It could be like " I find you so sexy when you wear xxx eau de cologne or nicely designed watch showing through shirt sleeves turns me on"

re: work could be " I hope you are looking because I believe you are capable of finding something better for yourself and I see that you are not happy with your current job."

Or everything could be about " Please make some effort to be successful and upper class man that I want"

First one is totally acceptable, the second .. well no thanks.

if she doesn't give you a headache, she doesn't care ... they can't help themselves

She is controlling and you don't like being
controlled so you have to move on for your own sanity.

Keep your option open. Maybe she's better to be your FWB instead.

I dated a woman, that was like this and the issue was control. She wasn't comfortable and secure enough, so she felt the need to control those around her. It came in slowly and over time. I hung out to see what would happen and it just got worse, but it was an interesting experience.

Somethings she demanded, because she felt that is how I should show her, how I appreciated her.

Other things, she demanded, because she didn't like not having control over things.

She wanted to mold me into her vision of what she wanted.

Didn't work out, naturally. She needed to date a wimp that wouldn't mind being lead around by the nose, but then I suspect, she wouldn't be interested in him, because he wasn't strong enough.

" He does not know I am going to change him"

Abra Cadabra