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Reading Topic #3060

virginguy1982
Member since 2-Aug-10
79 posts
09-Aug-10, 00:58 AM (PST)
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"Any women who is like my wife?"
 
I'm married for about 3 years now. The 1st year we had a lot of sex, then came 2nd year which my wife stoped having sex anymore. I'm a guy with a very high sex drive, I'm constantly feeling horny and would need self masterbation everyday. 2 years almost past with just myself masterbating, I finally decided to research online regarding services and I finally found out about RB. I finally told my wife about RB and she told me that she don't like sex at all. She told me she is asexual. She was also a virgin when we got married and sex was strange at first that was the reason she had sex on our first year, but now she knows what was sex like and she said she didn't like it. She said she is willing to give me money so I can use it to go to providers, but I can only go a maximum of 2 times per month because there is a limit on money. That was how my hobbying got started. Whenever I got home I told her how was my hour at the provider(s). The thing is it is not making me happy because I want to have sex with my wife but she just don't want to. Is my wife weird or there are many women out there with the same problem? She called herself a "asexual". She just wanted a married life with love only, without sex. I love her also, but sometimes I'm going crazy to think that my life without sex with her anymore.

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Katlara38
Member since 6-Aug-09
62 posts
09-Aug-10, 04:24 AM (PST)
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1. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
In my opinion, you should read a few books and search online about the Hows, Dos, and Don'ts. Sometimes we think we are experts but we have no clue of what are we doing.
Women anatomy is very complex and hard to figure out because we are all different.
I will suggest you to really educate youself about the subject. Even if you think you know too much; you never will know enough. Try to build good communication with you wife especially on this matter. Be open in what she has to say and don't take it personal. We always can learn a lot about our partner if we have an open mind...

Good luck!

Valeria

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Rocco32
Member since 19-Oct-09
121 posts, Rate Rocco32
09-Aug-10, 08:26 AM (PST)
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2. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
If she was a virgin when you got married and her sexual exploration was limited it may still be possible to develop her sexuality and improve your intimacy. She probably has buttons she doest even know exist. Find them, learn them and work them. Maybe you can read the same books and try talking about what you discovered.

Stepping out with her supposed blessings might get complicated down the road. For her it can't be a pleasant feeling knowing you are not coming close to meeting your mates needs.

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virginguy1982
Member since 2-Aug-10
79 posts
09-Aug-10, 11:07 AM (PST)
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3. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #2
 
Katlara38 and Rocco32,

Thank you for your advices. I will try my best.

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SactoDawg SactoDawg rating
Member since 15-Aug-03
476 posts, 12 feedbacks, 24 points
10-Aug-10, 11:45 AM (PST)
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4. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
"Let me tell you lil' story bout' a man named Jed..."

OMG Man! We need to talk...

You need to evaluate your situation here. You have only been in this marraige for 3 yrs, I have been in mine for 20 yrs and since DAY 1, she has claimed that she can care less about sex.

Now I had to make a decision here:
1. Was I really "IN LOVE" with her?
2. Can I handle this?
3. Can She handle this?
4. CAN I HANDLE THIS????

Now a little tidbit of history and advise. My wife (all wives are different) although she say's she hates sex, actually loves Sex (all Kinds) after she has had a few. She likes it so much that she will fuck anybody at the drop of a hat when she's drunk. Not all women are like this, but this just happens to be my delema.

Now, she knows this about herself and refrains from geting drunk because she doesn't want to do this because....."SHE HATES SEX" Weird Huh!!! It get weirder...

Her interpretation is that I need to suffer for her lack of labido (unlike your situation) I think the majority of woman have this view that "Sex is Love" and "Love is Sex" and if I catch you screwing around "YOUR HISTORY".

My interpretation is: Whatever she don't know won't hurt her and I hide it very well! Thank You...

So, Do I get to have sex with her? YES
Is it fulfilling? SOMETIMES
CAN I HANDLE THIS? YES.

So.. Dig Deep in your soul, Think past the norm, read, listen and take a little from here and there, then Answer the 4 questions.


If quizzes are quizzical, what are test?

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ngsfmale ngsfmale rating
Member since 19-May-03
2376 posts, 15 feedbacks, 28 points
10-Aug-10, 01:22 PM (PST)
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5. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #4
 
   If this works for you, great. There are talks that some women are not interested in sex. I think all nuts can be cracked, someone, sonehow can crack her nut too.

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streamingseamen
Member since 23-Aug-07
18 posts
10-Aug-10, 02:31 PM (PST)
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6. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
File for divorce. You are living a shallow experience. Marriage is about intimacy, love, sex and companionship. Sex is what bonds you both together. You deserve better. It is selfish for her to withhold love and sex in a complete relationship. Anybody who frequents sex workers put themselves at risk both physically and mentally. Sex with latex skins provide a decent orgasm. Being inside a loving partner, skin on skin, is heart altering and way more intense.

One more point... You are going to fall for a woman that you could or are having sex with. Your current wife's immaturity and lack of sexual connection has doomed the most beautiful of moments a loving couple can share. You have already taken the first step outside your marriage. Have the balls to get the future happiness that is your birth right.

Then again, these lovely ladies here would love to fuck you for money, possibly put your life in danger, get you busted from a job (see current HP story) or even get you killed.

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SactoDawg SactoDawg rating
Member since 15-Aug-03
476 posts, 12 feedbacks, 24 points
10-Aug-10, 03:24 PM (PST)
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7. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #6
 
>File for divorce. You are living a shallow experience.
>Marriage is about intimacy, love, sex and companionship. Sex
>is what bonds you both together. You deserve better. It is
>selfish for her to withhold love and sex in a complete
>relationship. Anybody who frequents sex workers put
>themselves at risk both physically and mentally. Sex with
>latex skins provide a decent orgasm. Being inside a loving
>partner, skin on skin, is heart altering and way more
>intense.
>
>One more point... You are going to fall for a woman that you
>could or are having sex with. Your current wife's
>immaturity and lack of sexual connection has doomed the most
>beautiful of moments a loving couple can share. You have
>already taken the first step outside your marriage. Have the
>balls to get the future happiness that is your birth right.
>
>Then again, these lovely ladies here would love to fuck you
>for money, possibly put your life in danger, get you busted
>from a job (see current HP story)


Dude,

Handy advise, but not practical for the man who is:
1. In Love
2. Already Married

The guy obviously see's something past a "Skin on Skin" type of intamacy that most of us can't even fathom. Even in my situation, my wife and I succeed in having an awesome sex session evrery now and then and I admit the "Skin on Skin" thing is the most intense sensation there is. BUT to advise a Divorce in ludicrous at best!

The fact that she doesn't like sex has many reasons like: the OP doesn't know how to fuck! to She doesn't know her body or know how to handle the wierd feeling accompanied with orgasm ( I think this is how my wife is), but in anycase. Time will tell and I advise against the Divorce thing.

Sex with the providers here is Great, Satifying to the types of sex I lack in my relationship!

But it certainly doesn't replace it, nor does it replace the LOVE (the intimate Love) one feels for another past the physical fucking!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are test?

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virginguy1982
Member since 2-Aug-10
79 posts
10-Aug-10, 04:04 PM (PST)
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8. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #7
 
Dear SactoDawg,

Thank you streamingseamen for his advice, but I like your advice more. Besides the lack of sex, my wife do care a lot for me and the same goes for me. Lacking sex with my wife is something I am not happy about, but still in the end we got the love for each others. I sometimes got to accept the sacrifice because I know that money can buy sex, but it can never buy true love.

I am not experience in bed, and I can never made my wife orgasm in our first year because I have the embarrashing problem of cumming too fast. I guess that was one of the problem that contribute to her problem of not liking sex.

As for going to providers, I am not cheating or going behind her back. I shared everyting with her, she knows, and approves it. I think having sex with providers is great because I don't have to worry about my sexual performance, or to satisfy the providers. The main reason is to relax and help release the pressure of everyday stress. Just like going to a professional massage for relaxation.

For me I think leaving her because of sex only is very shallow. I got to accept that love can replace sex, but not the other way around.

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streamingseamen
Member since 23-Aug-07
18 posts
11-Aug-10, 11:35 AM (PST)
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9. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #7
 
LAST EDITED ON 11-Aug-10 AT 12:05 PM (PST)
 
As both of us pointed out there is the act of sex and the act of lovemaking - they are separate things.  But I for one can't fuck a beautiful, giving woman and not be conficted emotionally. Bigger, tougher and jaded men have tried and failed. Many lovely ladies and aware gentlemen know this too well. That's why many here choose FBSM. As you may be aware, providers run scared and work on emotional detachment - because men who first meet for fun fall in love everyday, get possessive, ruin good home lives, begin to become emotionally attached and lead to do some crazy things. Think for a moment, many working girls and slick civilians run that fine line, are on a mission to take your heart, money and play you hard. We all carry emotional baggage and can be manipulated in the name of love. Perhaps in your current relation with your wife, that has happened. She has the relationship she want and you dont. You might consider that overlooked issue. Any psycologist you both went to see could help you see that obvious fact. Being that your little head is directly connected to your heart regardless of your detached rationalizations - you are on a road with no map and no true support group.

A newly married, inexperienced couple discover many things. Moreover, your wife will eventually feel awkward, guilty and hurt which I assure you will break your otherwise loving relationship. You are trying to fool yourself if you think this isnt going to damage your relationship once you openly proceed with this intended couse. Going outside the marriage is your first step away from her. Both of you know it with both of your full consent. 

As I hear you... Busting a nut early is just that. A rare woman wants to fuck for hours. A married woman even less so. Most want to be dated, materially enhanced,  and on occation held, stirred, sucked and monthy fucked (gives them a sense of caring for their husband). Most want normal life which most likely include children.  A husband that whores around does not fit that profile. If you want some strange - say it. If you want to make love - find the right partner. You are currently asking to do things that are going to bound to hurt you. You know the answer. Much like soliciting opinions on going binge drinking spree to a bunch of alcoholics, they are always going to tell you what they want to hear themselves. Just know they won't be around when you piss yourself or wreck the car.

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streamingseamen
Member since 23-Aug-07
18 posts
11-Aug-10, 12:12 PM (PST)
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10. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #9
 
LAST EDITED ON 11-Aug-10 AT 12:32 PM (PST)
 
Here is a true test of your intended plan.

At the Thanksgiving table with your friends and wife around... Get up and proclaim - just got a hot text - time for that piece of blonde young ass by the airport. Wifey... Can you give me ride down there?

Think about it... That is in fact what you are doing but over the long term.

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virginguy1982
Member since 2-Aug-10
79 posts
11-Aug-10, 01:50 PM (PST)
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12. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #10
 
Thank you for the advice.

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CLingus
Member since 30-Apr-10
1235 posts
11-Aug-10, 12:16 PM (PST)
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11. "Yep..."
In response to message #0
 
and they're mostly white.

Do you eat your food fast? That may explain a lot about her disinterest after a year of "sex" with you.

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virginguy1982
Member since 2-Aug-10
79 posts
11-Aug-10, 01:51 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: Yep..."
In response to message #11
 
CLingus,

Sorry I don't quite get what you mean. Can you clarify on what you are trying to say?

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CLingus
Member since 30-Apr-10
1235 posts
11-Aug-10, 09:03 PM (PST)
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17. "RE: Yep..."
In response to message #13
 
It was an oblique reference to your role in your situation.

It has been said many times that women can tell a lot about how a man is in bed by the way he eats. Does he wolf his food down and is he the first one done while everybody else is only half way through their meal, or does he savor every mouthful? Either way, that's supposed to be a very accurate indicator of his behavior in the sack.

Have you checked the man in the mirror?

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thetakeover thetakeover rating
Member since 12-Aug-08
1045 posts, 30 feedbacks, 58 points
11-Aug-10, 06:41 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
You're wife probably realized she became a lesbian...I hate to break it to ya, I seen it happen on an episode of cheaters once. This dude found his wife kissing and finger banging another woman, the dude cried like a BITCH. This scenario may happen to you...just get a divorce and save yourself some emotional pain.

Are you ready to have kids? That would increase your chances to increase your sexual activities with your significant other. Just simply talk about it. Nothing happens without action.


Or if not, have you tried to look into her interest? What makes her tick...does she like shopping a lot, for example, that you can share something together on a Sunday afternoon, at the mall. Have you tried watching porn with her? Have you had a real talk with her about your 'sexual' needs. I mean a real talk...like "Dayum Bitch! My dick hurts and it needs some lovin!"(say it in your best Charleston Heston Voice) Just kidding on that part, but something to that effect...like, "Honey, my phallic genitalia is sophicating because of the lack of your love. I can feel, um, my love ready to explode." I just feel sorry for the Vietnamese girl at the AAMP's, if you choose to use them for a release because you'll be locked, cocked, ready to rock, slipping them the ole cruiser missle.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA


Live. Love. Play. Relax.

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virginguy1982
Member since 2-Aug-10
79 posts
11-Aug-10, 07:58 PM (PST)
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15. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #14
 
thetakeover,

No is she not a lesbian. I can be sure of that. As for the divorce is out of the question because she loves me, and I love her. I still believe that someday she will have sex with me again.

I'm still not ready for kids yet, but I don't think having kids will give more chances of having sex.

In our first year, we watched a lot of porns together. Now she's just not interested in any thing sex-related anymore. We do everything together, nothing has changed, except the sex part. Women can be very complicated

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thetakeover thetakeover rating
Member since 12-Aug-08
1045 posts, 30 feedbacks, 58 points
11-Aug-10, 08:34 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #15
 
I know, I mess around a lot when I write...some people think I'm serious but they are mostly uneducated, to my satire...who can blame them, though, education is expensive nowadays.

I agree, woman are very complicated....the truth is, you'll never control a woman, the woman controls you....sad but true...I know, I know, enough with the doom and gloom.

I think I know the problemo, bro....you have a HUGE penis....I say this because I dated this lady that loved my dick size...trust me, I'm just above average...so I asked her "for reals?" A couple of years ago from that time, she told me she divorced her husband because simply he had a BIG DICK. Its true, she told me that it was painful to have sex with him. She loved him and all, and they were friends...but she admitted she couldn't love him or satisfy him in that way anymore.


WWDJD

(What Would Don Johnson Do?)

Watch this video, and it will explain, to you, that you are looking for a heart beat. Watch Don Johnson sing it with conviction. You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free. I read that somewhere in the Bible. Neat, right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULI5kolBpAk


Live. Love. Play. Relax.

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streamingseamen
Member since 23-Aug-07
18 posts
11-Aug-10, 09:56 PM (PST)
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18. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #15
 
Virgin - you wrote:
I still believe that someday she will have sex with me again....
Now she's just not interested in any thing sex-related anymore. ...We do everything together, nothing has changed, except the sex part. Women can be very complicated

Wake up guy! it doesn't get better but only worse. Heartache is painful fact of life. Your are not helping you case here with an understandable but delusional belief system. She will not have sex with you knowing you had sex with a provider who may or may not have an STD such as Craps, Lice, Herpes, Hep C, Warts or HIV. Having sex twice a month with a different provider each time will nearly guarantee you bring something home besides the bacon.

Fact 1: Nice guys don't get laid.
Fact 2: Women want to have a strong man in their life (a daddy replacement)
Fact 3: If you are not doing your duty as a man a woman will naturally leave you
Fact 4; Waiting for someone to change there mind is a losing bet
Fact 5: Once you have sex with a stellar woman - your wife is toast

answer this... Was your wife physically, mentally or sexually abused or neglected as a child? it has been my experience that woman who have issues with sex and withdraw from interpersonal sexual relations have issues that a loving relationship can not fix.

Women are complicated. Sometimes women become sexually withdrawn or go the other way and become overly sexual because of a single or multiple traumatic experiences. This explains many women who post on this board. Some hate men and become lesbians... others become hateful, fat and vicious ... others become drug users and still others run for the office of Governor for the State of California.

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wizeguy wizeguy rating
Member since 3-May-04
6257 posts, 125 feedbacks, 242 points
12-Aug-10, 03:41 PM (PST)
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19. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #18
 
   It is really simple....dump the bitch!

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virginguy1982
Member since 2-Aug-10
79 posts
12-Aug-10, 04:51 PM (PST)
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20. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
Thank you everyone for your advice. This topic is now closed. My main question is "Any women who is like my wife?", not "What should I do with my wife?". Once again thank you.

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Mrgetsome24 Mrgetsome24 rating
Member since 12-Nov-09
720 posts, 4 feedbacks, 5 points
12-Aug-10, 06:31 PM (PST)
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21. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #20
 
There's probably alot of women like your wife.I would bet that most are single and that group will grow.Good luck man.Most guys wont stay with someone like that.

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JimiChanga JimiChanga rating
Member since 27-Jan-05
2009 posts, 21 feedbacks, 32 points
13-Aug-10, 04:46 PM (PST)
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22. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
   Divorce her now and save yourself years of pain and suffering. This problem of hers isn't gonna go away.

Sorry.....

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NUNZIO NUNZIO rating
Charter Member
5825 posts, 35 feedbacks, 59 points
20-Aug-10, 09:47 PM (PST)
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23. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #22
 
   >Divorce her now and save yourself years of pain and
>suffering. This problem of hers isn't gonna go away.
>

I agree, and do it before you have any children with her. And it will never get any better than it is right now.

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MrSmith
Member since 21-Jul-05
93 posts
23-Aug-10, 05:37 PM (PST)
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24. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
   You need couples counseling and a sex therapist. She needs to explore her reason for not liking sex. She needs to experience orgasms with you during both oral sex and intercourse. You may need help on this front. Unlikely this will last in this state.

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luvmtite luvmtite rating
Member since 2-Feb-08
234 posts, 2 feedbacks, 4 points
25-Aug-10, 01:05 AM (PST)
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25. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 25-Aug-10 AT 01:08 AM (PST)
 
Dude, the two of you need counseling and it shouldn't surprise you to find out she is clinically depressed. Work on making your marriage whole again.

If that doesn't work you must end the marriage before she can take most of everything you own. Has the thought that she may be biding her time waiting for the 10 year mark to pass; ever crossed your mind?

Imagine her attorney's reaction when he hears that she has been "forced" to sit by and watch you play with hookers, complete with play by play reports!! Bro, you will be taken to the cleaners and publicly humiliated....

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colditalianpizzza colditalianpizzza rating
Member since 25-Jul-04
221 posts, 3 feedbacks, 5 points
25-Aug-10, 06:57 PM (PST)
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26. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #25
 
   LAST EDITED ON 25-Aug-10 AT 06:58 PM (PST)
 
If she truly loves you, then I just don't see how you making love to another woman will not bother her.
I understand an open relationship, but this is nuts.
How does this sound? " Honey, I care about you a lot, but I don't want you to touch me, ever!!" " I go to a strip club every night because I love to drink. "

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FirstnLastTime FirstnLastTime rating
Member since 19-Nov-03
1706 posts, 30 feedbacks, 31 points
30-Aug-10, 10:41 PM (PST)
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27. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
   Dude,
I was sympathetic when I first read this but the more response you gave the more pathetic I think you are. I am sorry to be harsh but here are the facts. Your wife does not love you. If she did she would go to counseling with you or maybe even a sex therapist. After two years of no sex her solution is for you to get a monthly stipend to get laid? That is just plain whack.

Are there anymore women like your wife? Hell yes and they are divorced or single and if they aren't then they have just have total control over the wimp that is living under the same roof with them that goes by the tag "husband". What you are living sir is not a relationship that is loving as a matter of fact it sounds very selfish and one sided. Think about your situation a bit more deeply. If you really love your wife insist she get some "help" with you as a couple. If she says no then you are fooling yourself if you think it will last for decades. You will eventually resent her and be pissed that you wasted so much damn time being a wussy.

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milkman31
Member since 19-Feb-04
03-Oct-10, 05:59 PM (PST)
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28. "RE: Any women who is like my wife?"
In response to message #0
 
   It sounds like she got some serious issues...

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