Right now, I have a sweet deal going with a sugardaddy relationship. Sex is off the chart great (I won't elaborate but trust me on this), and she's gorgeous. We also go out together, have lots of dates. She ask for very little in return. It feels like a girlfriend in every sense except... She can't commit to a relationship....

It's wierd, I should feel like the luckiest person in the world right now. but, I also feel so alone. I crave for something more than a sexual relationship. I have emotional needs that isn't getting fulfilled.

Yes, I have dated regular civilian women, but I never seem to have the same connection as I do with the last 2 sugarbabies. By any account, I feel (and felt) love for both of them. But, yet, I have to remind myself that they are doing it for financial motivations.

My question to whomever is... What should I do?

the fact that these are so one-sided stands out for me as projection 101.

have you seen sasha grey's GFE? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1103982/
it perhaps wasn't the greatest movie but for me, since i used to hobby (and probably will again) i cringed a little as the men went willingly into the illusion. especially hard to watch because i knew they weren't able to do the reciprocal work required of a real relationship. (so i've got nothing against pleasure, just think that there are psychological dangers, or traps, for certain people; i am one of those).

good luck with either (1) embracing your fortune to feed to your capability or (2) doing the hard work required for a reciprocal relationship

The most important thing is: Does she feel the same. If not, stay clear of trouble.

You can test the water, but don't go overboard if she doesn't reciprocate. Such as the case below. Until she can commit, consider it NSA FWB & have fun.

>...She ask for very little in
>return. It feels like a girlfriend in every sense except...
> She can't commit to a relationship....

Make her job easier-be a fuckable john.

Like I said, I've dated civilian women and many times I just don't have the same connection as I do with sugar babies. I think primarily because the civilian women are in their late 30's (around my age) and sugar babies are 18-24 range. I just don't have anything in common with women of my age. I feel and look younger and have much much more connection with woman in their early 20's (music, club and bar scene, fitness, sports, travel). And, the reason that I can't seem to date civilian women in their 20's is because this is Silicon Valley; too much competition for younger women.

So, now, I'm in love with my current sugarbaby. She is perfect in every way, and she seriously doesn't ask too much more any more than what most guys would do for their real GFs. But, we met on CL, and I feel that tainted our relationship.

No, I don't consider her a provider by any stretch. First of all, there's no set schedule or set time limit; it's purely voluntary. Secondly, as I mentioned, the amount of intimacy I'm getting is off the chart. If I start getting into details here, I would just be "bragging".

I do want love but realize that I can't have everything. I rather have her than not have anything at all. I just need to be stronger and not fall in love so easily, I suppose. Or, I need to do everything possible to make her fall in love with me.

I never had your problem of falling in love, but I've traveled with my SB's many times and you learn a lot about a person when you are with them 24/7 for an extended time. Not all of it good, but in your case she may actually like being with you more.

And don't kid yourself that it's just these women doing it for financial reasons. Civilian women gravitate toward wealthy men too, and most of these young hotties would settle down with you in a heartbeat if they thought you were interested in more than just sex with them. Some things will never change. Most men are attracted to hot women, and most women are attracted to wealthy or powerful men.

Women who give you sex for free are "invested" and they want a return.
Women who get money for sex feel they got a "return" on their investment, so they are free from emotional involvement.

From what I can pick up through your words, this is a very unhealthy relationship for you.

You will grow to resent her. She doesn't deserve that, she's keeping her part of the deal.

You need to end this, quicker you do the quicker you can move on.

Do you feel fearful at the thought of being alone? Or is it just her?

Sounds very co-dependent to me - I used to be one too so I totally get the work you will need to do on yourself is going to be very difficult.

Don't do it alone. Find a therapist that's right for you...just a temporary one. Co-dependence isn't (usually) something you will need years of therapy to conquer. You will be so much happier when you're free from this, and remember you deserve to be happy. Once you love yourself it will be easy to find a lady who will see that, and fall in love with you.

Good luck.

We've been seeing each other for almost 2 months now. Actually, I left out something an important detail: she currently lives with me, and all I do is provide normal support (similar to what maybe a working boyfriend or a husband does for his gf or wife).

Yesterday, she admitted that she has feelings for me too, and that she thinks this is much more than FWB. That made me feel so much love for her, but I must not show that. I don't want to add pressure of "love" to our existing fragile relationship.

I'm trying to play it cool and focus on work and getting slimmer. I've lost alot of weight because of her, and she seems to appreciate my looks. (Guys, FYI, if there is one thing you can do for your sugarbabies, it would be to get as fit and strong as possible. They would enjoy intimacy and dates alot more being with a man that looks like in the same "league" as them). So, I've decided to just cherish every moment with her and expect that this may end anytime.

I'm not going to pass on her or let her go. I know that she's a very prized individual that any single men in Silicon Valley would sought after her (early 20's beautiful white college student with olive tan and super-thin athletic body who is generous about her sexuality).

So, I've decided to take a back seat in the romance aspect and let her drive it. I remain very loyal to her (I don't see anyone) and believe that I'm also the only person in her life. I'm going to enjoy and cherish everyday I'm with her, like it's the last, and I will make sure she is happy. If she decides to break up with me, then at least I have the fond memories with her; no hard feelings. BUT, if she ever decides to make this a permanent relationship, then I will be there for her...

In the meantime, how do I relieve my emotional needs? I guess, I can suppress them by going to the gym. I can focus on my outdoor hobbies and being around with friends. And, of course, I can see my one and only sugarbaby when we are both home.

It reminds me of what I'm going through with another provider...oh, beautiful girl...wherever you are...I knew when I saw you...you had opened the door...I knew that I'd love again after a long, long while...I'd love again...Um, Nevermind, I'm STONED Immaculate...I need to see new providers.

I Love getting HIGH to this song...its really cool trip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpVq5IOay48

Live. Love. Play. Relax.

http://forum.myredbook.com/dcforum2/User_files2/n1x3f5q0f8b9i4r8.jpg