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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 21-Aug-10, 01:11 AM (PST)
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"Are there any successful relationships between a provider and a h"
 
I heard all of you said that it's a mistake for a provider to fall for a hobbyist, and vice versa. I agree that the odds all so stacked against the two truly falling in love and be happy together, but are there cases that it did happen, and that they're still happy together, maybe even married?

Is it even ever possible?

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dj209 dj209 rating
Member since 6-Apr-10
683 posts, 27 feedbacks, 47 points		 21-Aug-10, 02:50 AM (PST)
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1. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
   Anything is possible but I wouldn't suggest that. I have a good friend who's also a member here on Rb. Might-o-fact his the one who turned me on to Redbook. I will share his rare story and yes I got his permission before doing so. He met a lovely provider who moved from Hawaii and set up shop here after going through a nasty divorce. He to had ended a 25 year marriage before meeting her. He would session with her Cmt massage only for 3yrs. He really enjoyed her company and each session he walked away feeling better than he came. Although their relationship started off as a professional one he grew a deep affection for her that he couldn't resist. She seem to bring the happiness he desired and fullfill the emptiness that was avoided for so long. The connection between them was like love at first sight. She would do special things for him and he too would go out his way for her. I think she made him a better man because not only did she cater to his needs but she was a good listener as well. They gave each other moral support when one was down! They did everything together and finally got married. Still going strong 5 years later and one handsome son after. Yes he found his soulmate on Rb despite all the drama here. I remember attending his wedding and I'll never forget that Colgate smile showing all 32 teeth. I'll say it for him because he has retired from Rb. His one of the happiest men alive who once browse through the classified ads daily. She has left the massage business and has moved on to better opportunities that provide flexibility in her life to be the mother and wife to her family. Chemistry is important here, if you find the right person,anything is possible.

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wizeguy wizeguy rating
Member since 3-May-04
6189 posts, 122 feedbacks, 236 points		 21-Aug-10, 07:32 AM (PST)
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2. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #1
 
   .ask Rigid

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culo
Member since 18-Oct-08
1079 posts		 21-Aug-10, 09:48 AM (PST)
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5. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
  
>Is it even ever possible?


Possible? Yes. Probable? NO.

Some folks have seen a monger/ho (okay, client/provider) relationship work. I personally have seen many guys retire a provider, only to end with her cheating on him, or him cheating on her, or both cheating on each other. And then breaking up.

I know of several guys that retired TJ hos. But to a man, every one of them hits the zona and fucks some strange now and again. They are still with the hos. Some married, some just living together. All of these relationships are several years old. Maybe this qualifies as a successful relationship. I doubt many women would agree though.

I feel that such relationships are extremely difficult to manage. Neither side has much faith in the other side - i.e. mongers distrust providers and providers distrust mongers. Trust is critical to any relationship. Relationships are difficult to begin with, and when you layer a deepseated distrust on top of all the other BS that goes into a relationship you get a toxic brew.


culo is a culo

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rumi rumi rating
Member since 22-Mar-06
215 posts, 3 feedbacks, 6 points		 21-Aug-10, 01:05 PM (PST)
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9. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
   I posted a poem (first line: "I want to share my heart with you") my provider wrote me in another thread and you replied to it. Since the thread concerned poems written by hobbyist to providers, I believe that you mistakenly thought it was written by me to a provider (not the other way around). I believe the poem my provider sent me is the best answer to your question here; the fact that I am posting a poem she sent me speaks for itself.

I joined RB and read red book and pink book to find the answer to the question you ask here (no, not true....I read it to find confirmation for what I want to believe).

I think Culo's answer (which he gave to me in one of my posts as well) is the best: "It is possible but not probable." There are no easy answers; it depends on the facts and circumstances of the individual relationship (just like any other romantic relationship).

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Mrgetsome24 Mrgetsome24 rating
Member since 12-Nov-09
718 posts, 4 feedbacks, 5 points		 21-Aug-10, 02:17 PM (PST)
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10. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #9
 
Trust me on this,It's very possible and very very hard to do.It might just come down to you thinking your the exception.

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pohaku pohaku rating
Member since 25-Dec-03
7067 posts, 152 feedbacks, 274 points		 21-Aug-10, 02:43 PM (PST)
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11. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 21-Aug-10 AT 02:51 PM (PST)
 
Where do you think all those retired providers go?
and who of all people would accept their work and not so socially acceptable past?

RB also functions as match making site for some sincere souls.

But if you just want freebies or try to manipulate business relationship into a private one just for your benefit, or if you are not mature enough to understand and accept what they do as job. you will be served with exactly the same crap you dished out.

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oralio oralio rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
41946 posts, 154 feedbacks, 251 points		 21-Aug-10, 11:52 PM (PST)
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18. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #11
 
"Where do you think all those retired providers go?
and who of all people would accept their work and not so socially acceptable past?"

Brilliant take on it, Po.

I never thought of it that way. And I thought I thought of everything.

Be the change
you wish to see

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summerrayne summerrayne rating
Member since 27-Apr-09
7113 posts, 134 feedbacks, 259 points		 07-Sep-10, 08:18 AM (PST)
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28. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #11
 
YES PO!

Great take on the subject.

My SO is a civie; we met on my bowling league 2 1/2 years ago.

I was honest from the begining; I didn't want to waste his time or mine.

Trust me, I've wiped away some tears and dealt with the waffling early on. After we got throught that early stage of adjustment and acceptance we never looked back.

And yes - it takes a very special man (or woman) to accept what we do and not think about our pasts.

I got a life-partner and my daughter got a real dad.

I am truly blessed.

It's always Summer at my place! xoxo

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B2B00 B2B00 rating
Member since 15-Jul-05
540 posts, 16 feedbacks, 12 points		 09-Sep-10, 12:02 PM (PST)
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32. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #28
 
   Anything is a possibility.Most men and women are against it anyways.So who am I to say or comment?

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dark_mirror dark_mirror rating
Member since 23-Apr-05
1182 posts, 24 feedbacks, 45 points		 21-Aug-10, 05:20 PM (PST)
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12. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
>...Is it even ever possible?

I am sure it is possible, but in a case by case, and based on the comments from other members as well, scarce.

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CLingus
Member since 30-Apr-10
1205 posts		 21-Aug-10, 05:43 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
all the ones I know have husbands and/or boyfriends.

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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 21-Aug-10, 06:13 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #13
 
Yes, of course, I am sure some providers after retirement will meet people who are not hobbyists and then have a better chance of developing successful relationships and maybe even get married.

I am talking about someone meeting and seeing a provider thru the hobby, and then wanting to have a relationship with full knowledge who she is and how she earns a living.

Anyways, thanks for sharing your stories and views. It is helpful.

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cons_man cons_man rating
Member since 13-Mar-06
2509 posts, 41 feedbacks, 79 points		 21-Aug-10, 08:56 PM (PST)
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15. "Yes, usually the girl quits for the relationship to last"
In response to message #14
 
   I know several RB girls. Deb, ERB & a few others.

It mostly happen with better educated girls.

Make her job easier-be a fuckable john.

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Rak_Helion
Member since 29-Jun-10
46 posts		 21-Aug-10, 09:21 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #14
 
   Best of luck to you Cifuinca. I offer my very limited wisdom about the world: nothing lasts forever, and I think there is good reason to believe that we are meant to love and in a real sense, love-affection-caring makes us better people. Call me a fool romantic but that is the world I'd like to live in.

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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 22-Aug-10, 01:46 AM (PST)
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19. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #16
 
Yes, you and I are indeed fool romantics. Glad to have some company...

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thetakeover thetakeover rating
Member since 12-Aug-08
1035 posts, 30 feedbacks, 58 points		 22-Aug-10, 11:03 AM (PST)
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20. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #19
 
Bro, if you believe you can, it will happen, just watch the movies 'Pretty Woman' or 'The Crying Game'.

If you break up and you dare to dream, again...listen to this song...it may help with your 'TRANSITION'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoWmq1qvN4Y


Live. Love. Play. Relax.

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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 22-Aug-10, 01:39 PM (PST)
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21. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #20
 
Thanks mate! That's a great song...

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oralio oralio rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
41946 posts, 154 feedbacks, 251 points		 21-Aug-10, 11:44 PM (PST)
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17. "never say never"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 21-Aug-10 AT 11:44 PM (PST)
 
Of course it's possible.

It's unlikely and challenging, but all it takes is the two right people, at the right time, and a little luck.

Be the change
you wish to see

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lovenastyfun
Member since 16-Aug-07
 23-Aug-10, 10:42 AM (PST)
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22. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
   I'll just say this. There are many ways to meet someone, maybe at Starbucks, the grocery store, or even at a mixer, then human nature takes over and anything is possible.

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singtome
Member since 9-Aug-09
44 posts		 24-Aug-10, 12:28 PM (PST)
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23. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
Before visiting Thailand I came upon this site:

http://www.stickmanweekly.com/index.html

There are many stories of mongers getting emotionally involved with these girls and paying dearly.

I'm glad I came upon this site before my visit. (I met a girl in Borneo who I could have easily fell for.)

My Irish friend wasn't so lucky. He met a girl on the internet prior to visiting Thailand. Fell for her and got her pregnant. They had the baby in Ireland. She convinced him to use his life savings to open a Thai Restuarant (sp?). Over the past couple years, her real motives are becoming more and more apparent. He spends his days drinking himself into numbness. Trapped by his emotional attachment to his daughter, the option of leaving her is not an option.

They all look the same with your eyes closed.

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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 26-Aug-10, 09:34 AM (PST)
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24. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #23
 
Wow, that is a very sad story.

I do agree that the chance of finding true happiness and true love is astronomically low. It's soberly to hear these terrible stories. I guess in the game of love and war, there always winners and losers, but is it not better to have played and lost, than to watch the world and your life go by leaving you behind?

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FrenchKiss FrenchKiss rating
Charter Member
6805 posts, 50 feedbacks, 82 points		 04-Sep-10, 02:57 PM (PST)
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25. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
   Yes!

ƒK

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justasmile1
Member since 1-Dec-08
72 posts		 04-Sep-10, 06:02 PM (PST)
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26. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #25
 
I second the yes!
I love being a romantic.

"Let's be careful out there."-Hill St. Blues

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OriginalCyn OriginalCyn rating
Member since 5-Dec-06
4968 posts, 71 feedbacks, 135 points		 07-Sep-10, 02:25 AM (PST)
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27. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
..talk dorky to me baby.

My rule has always been that I don't care (to a degree) what happened in my man's life before he met me, so I can't say I wouldn't date a hobbyist. However, I have learned through one really hard lesson that I cannot date someone who has previously been my client. I always kinda felt resentful.

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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 08-Sep-10, 11:11 PM (PST)
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29. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #27
 
>..talk dorky to me baby.
>
>My rule has always been that I don't care (to a degree) what
>happened in my man's life before he met me, so I can't say I
>wouldn't date a hobbyist. However, I have learned through
>one really hard lesson that I cannot date someone who has
>previously been my client. I always kinda felt resentful.

Can you tell me why you feel resentful?

For me, I wasn't looking to get emotional with a provider, but you know how life is, it throws a curve ball at you when you least expected. So BANG! I felt something after seeing her several times, and each time the feeling gets stronger. Right now, I am afraid to go see her, because I am not sure I can hide my feelings any longer.

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DecadentDianne DecadentDianne rating
Member since 2-Apr-08
4735 posts, 23 feedbacks, 45 points		 09-Sep-10, 01:48 AM (PST)
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30. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
Anything is possible. I wouldn't recommend it though. Been there done that. The client didn't like seeing all of my cash on the bed at the end of the evening.

Have A Decadent Dianne Day

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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 09-Sep-10, 09:47 AM (PST)
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31. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #30
 
Yes, I agree with you a hundred percent. My mind tells me that I am a fool for having feelings for a provider, and that she would never recipricate, and be able to trust me, nor I trust her.

But the fact remains that my heart is aching, and I can't stop thinking about her..

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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 09-Sep-10, 09:18 PM (PST)
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33. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #31
 
I am debating if I should see her tomorrow or not. Maybe I should never see her again...that would be the safe, smart and easy thing to do.

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edmidlife2 edmidlife2 rating
Member since 12-Jan-09
976 posts, 26 feedbacks, 52 points		 09-Sep-10, 09:34 PM (PST)
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34. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #0
 
I would marry my Atf anytime but she is the sillyist goose always says she is too young to have a b/f or get married! Anhhh !!! What can I say !!! I see her more than a year now !

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Cifuinca Cifuinca rating
Member since 30-Oct-05
678 posts, 10 feedbacks, 4 points		 09-Sep-10, 09:54 PM (PST)
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35. "RE: Are there any successful relationships between a provider and"
In response to message #34
 
Are you seeing her outside the hobby? or only as a provider?

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