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POLL: Provider-hobbyist relationships - who should lead In the initial stages of the provider-hobbyist off-duty relationships?
Posted by oralio on 26-Aug-10, 09:48 PM PST
Result after a total of 23 votes

hobbyists should lead the flirtations and affirmations of desire 4 votes, 17% Vote for this choice
providers should lead the flirtations and affirmations of desire 19 votes, 82% Vote for this choice

 
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oralio oralio rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
41946 posts, 153 feedbacks, 249 points		 26-Aug-10, 09:48 PM (PST)
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1. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #0
 
Much has been asked about the probability of provider-hobbyist relationships.

Here's a question for the masses -- in developing off duty relationships between providers and hobbyists, who should lead the way into the relationship?

Some say that the man should be the lead in the flirtations and affirmations of interest and desire.

Others say that the provider should be the lead in the flirtations and affirmations of interest and desire.

What do you say? And why?

Be the change
you wish to see

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lovenastyfun
Member since 16-Aug-07
 26-Aug-10, 10:09 PM (PST)
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2. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #0
 
   If it isn't kind of mutual and back and forth, it probably ain't happening.

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oralio oralio rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
41946 posts, 153 feedbacks, 249 points		 26-Aug-10, 10:16 PM (PST)
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3. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #2
 
I asked who should lead, not control.

Be the change
you wish to see

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lovenastyfun
Member since 16-Aug-07
 27-Aug-10, 07:21 AM (PST)
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4. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #3
 
   My answer doesn't change. Once the relationship moves past P4P it's just like any other normal relationship, and the initiative will and should shift back and forth to keep the relationship going. For example: I'm in a new relationship with a girl that I met at an rb mixer. We text several times a day. Some days I'm the first to text some days she's the first to text. This demonstrates that there is continuing interest on both sides. If I was the first to text every day, even though she may respond, that may indicate it's not the same for her as it is for me. That's how I would see it anyway.

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KenleyAnn
Member since 14-Nov-09
37 posts		 27-Aug-10, 09:39 AM (PST)
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5. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #4
 
I agree with you 100% babe . . .lol . . xoxo

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thetakeover thetakeover rating
Member since 12-Aug-08
1032 posts, 30 feedbacks, 58 points		 27-Aug-10, 09:54 AM (PST)
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6. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #4
 
Me three, babes...I'm with you. hilla hilla he he he

Live. Love. Play. Relax.

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pohaku pohaku rating
Member since 25-Dec-03
7029 posts, 152 feedbacks, 274 points		 27-Aug-10, 10:55 AM (PST)
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7. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 27-Aug-10 AT 10:56 AM (PST)
 
When you are in pay for play relationship, receiving text could be about I need to work. If you view such contact as "interest in your personality" then taking cold shower is recommended.

Good mature men will know that difference and will not judge women just because this world is never 100% clear.

If you are NOT in that situation, share common interest outside of RB with her etc then it is same as in any other relationship.

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cons_man cons_man rating
Member since 13-Mar-06
2496 posts, 41 feedbacks, 79 points		 27-Aug-10, 12:33 PM (PST)
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8. "Just tell her you 'dig' her first! Be a man!"
In response to message #0
 
   You snooze, you lose.

Happily ever after, still?

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soccerguy soccerguy rating
Member since 25-Jun-08
925 posts, 55 feedbacks, 102 points		 27-Aug-10, 03:55 PM (PST)
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9. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #0
 
I always thought that a relationship between a provider and hobbyist could never work, at least thats what every provider/hobbyist I know says. The relationship should only be donations for services, is what I was lead to believe. So how does that relationship work?
Does the provider have to quit providing ?
Does the hobbyist have to quit hobbying ?
Is it possible for the provider to cheat on her man?
Is the hobbyist cheating if he continues to see other providers?
Just wanted to know what others think


Soccerguy......Man Utd Forever

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rich_in_2001
Charter Member
2102 posts		 28-Aug-10, 00:13 AM (PST)
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12. "Here are answers for you"
In response to message #9
 
   Does the provider have to quit providing ? no

Does the hobbyist have to quit hobbying ? no, don't let her know if you fucks other hookers (pay for play).

s it possible for the provider to cheat on her man? yes: she fucks for free. no: she charges for every fuck (boyfriend gets it for 'free').

Is the hobbyist cheating if he continues to see other providers? no, it is a dick thing.

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cons_man cons_man rating
Member since 13-Mar-06
2496 posts, 41 feedbacks, 79 points		 28-Aug-10, 01:31 PM (PST)
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15. "It's hard, but it could happen like every other relationship"
In response to message #9
 
   LAST EDITED ON 28-Aug-10 AT 02:05 PM (PST)
 
First off, you need to ask yourself WHAT kind of relationship you're seeking.

Questions you ask below are more of your own definition of the very "relationship" you're seeking.

It's hard because of the lack of trust from the beginning. Personally I've met several honest to a fault providers. If you're an honest guy, you'll have a better chance meeting an honest girl. Honesty does not mean stupidity. Keep your guard up, you both need to earn trust. Then it has a higher chance of "chemistry" developing.

>I always thought that a relationship between a provider and
>hobbyist could never work, at least thats what every
>provider/hobbyist I know says. The relationship should only
>be donations for services, is what I was lead to believe. So
>how does that relationship work?
>Does the provider have to quit providing ?
>Does the hobbyist have to quit hobbying ?
>Is it possible for the provider to cheat on her man?
>Is the hobbyist cheating if he continues to see other
>providers?

Happily ever after, still?

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culo
Member since 18-Oct-08
1057 posts		 27-Aug-10, 06:26 PM (PST)
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10. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #0
 
  

Why bother?

Providers are never going to trust ex-mongers. Mongers are never going to trust ex-providers. And no, I do not believe an active provider can have an 'exclusive' relationship with anyone. Nor do I believe an active monger can fool around on the side becuase it doesn't mean anything without it affecting the relationship he is in. Nor do I believe in open relationships.

So save yourself the trouble, and never start.

culo is a culo

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805MassageBabe 805MassageBabe rating
Member since 6-Oct-07
3488 posts, 101 feedbacks, 199 points		 27-Aug-10, 09:29 PM (PST)
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11. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #10
 
   Neither.

A personal relationship between the two, with rare exception, is overwhelmingly due to fail. I don't understand why this is always a topic for discussion on here. It's a business agreement. Sure, people can be friendly with each other outside of the business but there need to be boundries set.
Don't put yourself in a position where you could fall in love with each other.

Just my personal opinion of course.

xoxox
MB

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805MassageBabe 805MassageBabe rating
Member since 6-Oct-07
3488 posts, 101 feedbacks, 199 points		 28-Aug-10, 03:11 AM (PST)
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13. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #11
 
   edit- overwhelmingly DOOMED to fail.

Yikes! How did I miss that one?

Anyway, IF this situation were to work between them, the provider would need to initiate more than the hobbyist because it's usually a turn off when the hobbyist is the pursuer. She can't help but to be on guard that maybe he's just trying to 'get it for free'.

xoxox
MB

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rookieplayuh rookieplayuh rating
Member since 19-Dec-03
698 posts, 6 feedbacks, 12 points		 29-Aug-10, 10:47 AM (PST)
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17. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #11
 
   ..."people can be friendly"

Having met in such an intimate business enviroment.

I think friendly as opposed to friends is the more common limit. Having become friendly in the past a couple of times.


my .02

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marvin_the_martian marvin_the_martian rating
Member since 2-Oct-08
134 posts, 4 feedbacks, 8 points		 28-Aug-10, 11:32 AM (PST)
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14. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #10
 
if you want trust, get a dog.

marvin!

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culo
Member since 18-Oct-08
1057 posts		 29-Aug-10, 08:57 AM (PST)
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16. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #14
 
   >if you want trust, get a dog.
>

He ran away.


culo is a culo

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NorthvalleyHigh NorthvalleyHigh rating
Member since 17-Feb-10
4181 posts, 117 feedbacks, 228 points		 02-Sep-10, 02:43 AM (PST)
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18. "RE: In the initial stages of provider-hobbyist off-duty relations"
In response to message #0
 
I've never been one to over pursue a relationship. If its going to happen it's going to happen.

So I voted-(providers should lead the flirtations and affirmations of desire)
Not to say I would not flirt back. I just don't want to cross any boundary.
I tend to look for all the reasons why it wouldn't work and would not want to risk loosing a friend by pushing through her boundary.
In the right situation with the right person I could follow their lead.
All this talk of provider and hobbyist only makes since if you can erase the thought from your mind that we are humans and we suffer from human nature.
As long as we lived in separate houses and gave each other lots of space it would work.
Yes it is rare that two people develop a relationship in this environment. But Not at all impossible.
We have a strange mix of personality's and types of people all here for one reason or another.
We are in constant change and revaluation of ourselves.

I am a very open minded person. So my .02 cents don't apply to everyone.

NvH

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