Over the next few weeks, we spent 3-4 evenings a week together. There were constant e-mails and text messages during the day. She opened up to me about her family, friends and personal problems. We went on many casual dates (dinner, drinks) and her body language showed that she was very happy with me and our time together. Hanging on me, kissing me openly in the restaurant, flirting, etc. Everyone who saw us together, including her friends, was of the opinion that there was mutual attraction and interest.

Toward the end of July, things started to get weird. She made less time for me, but kept in contact on a daily basis. There were a few dates around this time where she was laughing and enjoying herself one minute, then in tears the next. When I asked what was wrong she said, "It's not you, I am just so overwhelmed." Many of these dates "almost" did not happen because she came up with an excuse not to show up and then changed her mind at the last minute.

She also said that she was attracted to me and had feelings for me, but did not want to make a commitment and did not see a future for us as far as a LTR was concerned. Her reasons were that I was "more invested" than she was, and that I was insecure about the relationship. I told her that she sent mixed signals and I had a very hard time reading her, hence my insecurity. Her explanation for this was that she was "still unsure" about me. I asked if she wanted to continue dating and she said that she was fine with that, but she wanted to keep it casual.

I was very confused at this point. Here is a woman who came on strong to me initially, and lead me to believe that she wanted to be pursued by me. Now she is freaking out and telling me to back off?

About a week after this conversation, I had some flowers delivered to her office. I thought that it was a nice gesture. Also, in the event that she was testing me to see how I would respond, I wanted to let her know that I was interested. Initially she thanked me for the flowers and beamed about how beautiful they were, how she had become the talk of the office, etc. She even e-mailed me a picture of the flowers in her cubicle with a nice note attached. Later she admitted that she was "so overwhelmed" by the flowers that she could not look at them for three days.

I spent some time with a (platonic) male friend of her's one night when she decided to blow me off. I was at the guy's house drinking beer and shooting the shit. We got pretty drunk and he leans over and says, "Listen, I don't know how to tell you this, but you need to move on from her. She is sleeping with several other guys and she doesn't give a damn about any of them."

Now, when we started dating, she told me that there were two guys that she occasionally "hooked up with", but that she was not dating anyone else, and that if her and I continued to go out, she would stop seeing these guys. At that point I didn't say much because the relationship was brand new and I couldn't expect her to cut other people out of her life.

So after the convo with her friend I am pissed, but I don't know what to believe, and I don't think that confronting her is the best idea.

I ended up at her house a few nights later with a group of mutual friends. After everyone left, she told me that she wanted to "end things." She went into a rant about how she was not attracted to me, did not want to have sex with me, and did not like me anymore. This two days after our last date that ended with making out in her car for 15 minutes. I was drunk and caught off guard. I was also a little belligerent. I didn't want to leave the house, so she ended up pushing me down the hallway, grabbing my shirt collar and pushing me into the wall. Then she wound up her free arm and tried to punch me in the face. At this point, I grabbed her around the waist and pushed her away from me. She threatened to call the police and I left.

I talked to her the next day. She told me that she exaggerated the night before because she was angry and wanted me out of the house. She wanted to have "her night" and while the people I was with had invited me, she had not and did not want me there. I questioned what she told me about "having feelings" for me. Her response was that I was there for her during a difficult time and I was a good friend to her. Ultimately, her reason for ending the relationship was that she was "scared of what I was capable of" after pushing her in the hallway. Never mind that she backed me into a wall!

I contacted her by e-mail a few times after this, and asked if she would care to have a drink or a cup of coffee and discuss things. I said that if she was not ready for a relationship I could understand that, but I really enjoyed her company and I hoped that we could go grab a drink or a bite once in a while just for fun.

Long story short, she had me served with a restraining order shortly thereafter and attached my e-mails as proof that I was "harassing" her. She also told a very distorted version of what happened at her house and claimed that I battered her. And now she is telling friends that I "tried to beat the shit" out of her.

Is this woman completely insane? I keep thinking that I screwed up somehow, but in hindsight, I was nothing but good to her and tried to be a positive influence. She is a big drinker and pops pills for anxiety, so I am thinking that she is emotionally unstable to some degree.

Any opinions or similar experiences?

She smells like a Scorpio Woman, to me...they will gut you and eat your insides in front of your face and laugh! Just Kidding...but something close to that...My problem was getting rid of Scorpio Woman, so you seem very lucky...a few broken car windows and other dramatic crap...you'll say enough of these Scorpios, but they are in my life forever and ever, I have to screen out Scorpio Woman because of my experience. But most Scorpio Woman are great cooks and effin awesome in bed...either you're f*cking or fighting a Scorpio Woman. Pick your poison.

Just move on and see an RB Ladie....See problem solved.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI2COawqMJQ

Live. Love. Play. Relax.

"... she had me served with a restraining order shortly thereafter" <- obviously there is another side to this story

Bottom line ... if it starts out this volatile, it can only get worse.

Best advise i can give is to use the same word as a provider .... "NEXT"

what, me worry?

..........I was very confused at this point. Here is a woman who came on strong to me initially, and lead me to believe that she wanted to be pursued by me.......Now she is freaking out and telling me to back off?......" <<

Mixed messages, and restraining orders huh?
Hmm......you sure you want to pursue this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWGAdzn5_KU

After that you screwed up by not leaving after she "ended it." Once a lady asks you to leave, for whatever reason and in whatever manner, you need to get the fuck out! I don't care how she characterizes it after the fact. You admit that you wouldn't leave until she threatened to call the police. You don't think that she must have been scared of you at that point???? The fact that she had to physically remove you from her residence and that you actually pushed her but perceive no wrongdoing on your part shows that your perspective is extremely skewed. You admit to being belligerent to her, allowing things to become physical because you refused to leave and then continued to communicate with her after the fact. And you think she's insane? She filed a restraining order because you wouldn't respect her boundaries and leave her alone.

She can be as looney as a cuckoo bird but buddy, get a clue and walk away! BTW, what, if any, are the repurcussions of having had a RO filed against you?

xoxo
Ray
I can't help it, I LIKE sex!

Reality is that she will be like this for a very long time, and it'll just get worse the longer you hang in there.

This advice was given to me by a woman.

Then she went on and said, "and I'm really crazy too!"

>Is this woman completely insane? I keep thinking that I
>screwed up somehow, but in hindsight, I was nothing but good
>to her and tried to be a positive influence. She is a big
>drinker and pops pills for anxiety, so I am thinking that
>she is emotionally unstable to some degree.
>
>Any opinions or similar experiences?

She did you a favor, move on!

You: Seek the spark and emotional connection she provided in the beginning, only it didn't last. You still sought it out when it wasn't there to begin with. Your comments that you tried to be a positive influence tells me that you get off on trying to help troubled souls; also known as Captain sav-a-ho. In other words, you embrace her chaos.

Her: Crazy in the head = crazy in the bed. The fact that she pops pills for anxiety means she suffers from anxiety. The fact that she uses large amounts of alcohol while taking psychological medication means that she is unstable (and embraces chaos).

---

Red flags:
Her friend told you that you needed to drop her. (When her friends tell you to back off instead of supporting her, that is a MAJOR RED FLAG!!!)

She's on psych meds and drinking (and you mention that in the last sentence)??? Hello, McFly <knocking on noggin> WTF?!?!?!

You were there for her during a "difficult time". In other words you were her enabler and she no longer needs you. Whether that means you were the booty call, the rebound guy, or she broke up with some guy and subsequently got back together with him is irrelevant. In short, if you were ready for a relationship, you would have let her go and hoped for her happiness, even if it isn't with you. Anything less is not mature.

---

What isn't told (and therefore unknown)

1) How did her friends become your friends so soon?
2) When her friend told you that you needed to stop seeing her, was it because he was looking out for your best interests (or did she ask him to advise you to back off)?
3) Why would you want to waste your time, energy and effort on a woman that clearly does not want you? Furthermore, why jeopardize your future on a woman that is clearly troubled? This question isn't about her. It's about YOU!
4) What's in your pathology that makes you want to be a savior (and find girls to save)?
5) Flowers to a woman who doesn't want you? WHY???
6) Going to a party at her place that in which she didn't invite you? Regardless if some other friends were going, it's obvious she didn't invite you! If she didn't invite you, you don't go! (If she wanted you there, she would have gone out of her way to make sure you were invited.)
7) What would make you want to stay when it was clear you weren't wanted?
8) Is it that she is unstable or is it that you wouldn't take a hint? (hint)

IMO, there is more to this story. You might be an enabler, a savior or controlling (all at the same time or some portion of any).

In short, you both embrace chaos and you both have issues.

---

Did you screw up? Yes, you tried to make a one night stand into a relationship.
Were you nothing but good to her? No, you didn't leave. Additionally, you defended yourself in a situation where a guy is just not allowed to defend himself. You had the option to walk away! IOWs there is an emotional trigger in you that embraces her chaos. The fact that you didn't is about YOU, not her. Desire isn't rational, but staying in a situation with someone who no longer desires you is irrational.

---

Key take aways
1) A woman that needs you to 'save' her isn't worth your effort.
2) A woman that you save rarely appreciates it.
3) You can't raise a hand to a woman (or push or lean or anything)! PERIOD!!!
4) Item 3 can put you behind bars.
5) When a woman says she has other guys, that means you're a booty call.
6) Booty calls are not relationships.
7) Psycho girls stay psycho until they help themselves.
8) Don't invest more in someone than they are willing to invest in you.
9) Leave one night stands as that.

**Final item: See a therapist. There may be something going on in you that you're unaware.

Might be interesting to see how many ROs, she's filed. That public information.

If she drinks and pops pills then she is constantly coming down from something. You take a pill it mask the problem for a short time and then wears off and you have to take another. Also alcohol is a depressant, so you're playing with fire.

I seldom say this but turn around and run don't walk as fast as you can away from her. She needs to take of her before she can begin to care for you.

She isn't completely insane. She has an addiction problem that with the proper help she could get better. AA alcoholics anonymous would be one step, or an inpatient treatment center depending on how bad her addiction is.

Also, there are meeting for codependency as it sounds like you want to help her. I'm not judging you as I'm kinda like that very codependent.

Nowadays everyone is using something as the pressure of the economy and life in general gets to people.

I would first not judge her to harshly and just support her through this process and you might find out who the real person is underneath all the pain she is carrying around.

God Bless
Farrah

Walk slowly away from her and never see her again, ever!

Give me back my ratings!

So much pussy.