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Reading Topic #3593

wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
29-Jun-12, 09:20 AM (PST)
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"Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
 
LAST EDITED ON 29-Jun-12 AT 09:52 AM (PST)
 
Here is the scenario.

I met this girl who "appears" to be quite low avail.
She was from out of the Bay, migrated here a short while ago. Young gal who had a rough child hood and appears to still struggle with life and relationship.
The time I get to see her(4 or 5 times), it had always been very fun, and she's always generous in time, not clock watching.

The problem: it would be sometimes a week or two till I would hear from her.

Would you guys just accept it and take the date when given (when she contacts)?
Or
Move on?

Even though, I missed the time and desperate to get to see her again, I am leaning towards second option.

Always Seeking.

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iwsnocrb iwsnocrb rating
Member since 17-Feb-11
953 posts, 9 feedbacks, 18 points
29-Jun-12, 02:57 PM (PST)
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1. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
you don't own her. if you enjoy the time with her, just roll with it when she calls. get a second option, because i'm quite sure she has other options.

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bkfan
Member since 8-Apr-07
59 posts
29-Jun-12, 07:16 PM (PST)
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2. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
I know your situation. Similarly, my ATF is very low availability, rarely books, rarely answers, but when we do get together she blows my brains out with what she does for me. What you do is up to you, but I've decided to see her when she makes herself available, but am starting to look for other providers whom I can enjoy, so that I don't think too much about her or start missing her when she's not around.

We know what we're doing here, don't get hung up on your gal, enjoy yourself but don't get attached.

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AW89 AW89 rating
Member since 14-Apr-12
581 posts, 10 feedbacks, 20 points
29-Jun-12, 07:48 PM (PST)
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3. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
   AW89 SoCal/NorCal/Nevada
Thrills

It does not sound as if you are happy in this situation. I would talk to her. If she does it again, start looking else where. There are plenty of girls in the bay that are nice (I'm sure) and without drama in their lives. You should ask the gentlemen for reccomendations for a girl with the type of personality and appearance that you're seeking. One word to summarize: next!

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yungnhungnstrung
Member since 13-Jun-12
99 posts
30-Jun-12, 09:51 AM (PST)
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4. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
   not sure i understand the problem. id suggest you try to contain ur emotions for her, and set ur expectations regarding her availabilty. i love visiting vegas and do so several times a year, but dont pine for the experience in the interval. ive got a busy life and other interesting distractions that fill those intervals. remember its all about setting expectations

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CLingus
Member since 30-Apr-10
2374 posts
30-Jun-12, 03:51 PM (PST)
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5. "Never ever"
In response to message #0
 
Get "desperate."



So much pussy.

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
07-Jul-12, 07:03 AM (PST)
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7. "RE: Never ever"
In response to message #5
 
Always Seeking.

What can I say, Vet made a rookie mistake.

Not attached or wanted to own her, but she made the time together so comfortable that I just forgot all that it was a paid session.

Oh well,

For all that commented, Thanks.
Unfortunately, can't stop thinking about her so better just cut it to help myself.

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taterroo
Member since 9-May-11
1704 posts
30-Jun-12, 08:43 PM (PST)
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6. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
   > Would you guys just accept it and take the date when given (when she contacts)?

Why give up a good thing? I would accept her schedule and, if you need more, fill in with some other girl(s).

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JimiChanga JimiChanga rating
Member since 27-Jan-05
2679 posts, 23 feedbacks, 39 points
10-Jul-12, 01:02 PM (PST)
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8. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
   Dude - you thing every whore is a burger king? open 24x7 and have it your way?

Interesting use of the word 'desperate'. Maybe you want to see her too much and she's pusing back, letting you cool off.

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
11-Jul-12, 05:06 AM (PST)
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9. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #8
 
>Dude - you thing every whore is a burger king? open 24x7
>and have it your way?

LOL... No. Just a response would be nice, even to say HI, not available till"..". Like I said, it's just week(s) before I got a response. Then sudden 1:00 or 2:00am calls if I wanted to see her.

>
>Interesting use of the word 'desperate'. Maybe you want to
>see her too much and she's pusing back, letting you cool
>off.

Maybe. Oh well.

Always Seeking.

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captain_spluge captain_spluge rating
Member since 1-Aug-06
3597 posts, 99 feedbacks, 192 points
11-Jul-12, 06:37 AM (PST)
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10. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
WFGFES:

This is not at all uncommon - because we want to see an ATF so much we tend to think they are feeling the same way. They can still "like" you a lot but I have found that often, even with very low-volume ladies, they have very busy personal lives and just do not have the inclination to respond to every request to talk or text when it is not about scheduling an appointment...and even those messages can get lost. If she has kids or another job, and she probably gets a LOT of texts, emails or phone calls depending on how she asked to be contacted, you can easily become forgotten in the pile unless she can respond the moment she gets your message.

I used to be bothered by this and now I accept it - when my ATF has the time to talk it is worth the wait to hear from her and the friendship that has developed as a result makes our time together so much better. FWIW.

More awesome than a monkey in a bacon tuxedo

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dark_mirror
Member since 23-Apr-05
1279 posts
09-Aug-12, 06:26 PM (PST)
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19. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #10
 
Valid points (i.e. job, kids, other interests, tons of texts, etc.), IMO. However, it reminds me of Mark Twain quote "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option". To what degree should one allow that to happen right? I think it would depend on the person.

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asiantyphoon asiantyphoon rating
Member since 11-Sep-07
1022 posts, 22 feedbacks, 37 points
13-Jul-12, 01:38 PM (PST)
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11. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
i have the same problem. one of my fav providers barely provide!! but i am patient and whenever she is avail i go see her. you just need to be patient.

"it's small, but potent"

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
18-Jul-12, 05:55 AM (PST)
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12. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #11
 
Always Seeking.

Now, it's three weeks and got a response from her. darn...

what to do, what to do..

Would love seeing her again but then after that miserable for another three weeks? The problem is, I am active with rb dates and there are others to see, but each time would be a miserable comparison and disappointment and wish it was w her.

hmmmmm.

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Samantha_Lane Samantha_Lane rating
Member since 23-Sep-10
506 posts, 39 feedbacks, 72 points
18-Jul-12, 06:44 AM (PST)
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13. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #12
 
I love RB people are sometimes intentionally cruel or stupid but in general here more than out there I see people being one anothers sounding boards and working thru things metally and emotionally GO RB, see ya later Admiral

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
19-Jul-12, 05:00 AM (PST)
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14. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #12
 
Thanks to all that read and commented.

The chapter is closed.
Hopefully, I can move on.

Have a great day Y'All.


Always Seeking.

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sportsman20 sportsman20 rating
Member since 22-May-04
2043 posts, 28 feedbacks, 48 points
21-Jul-12, 05:11 AM (PST)
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15. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 21-Jul-12 AT 05:13 AM (PST)
 
It might be getting time for you to get out of this game. Your questions are sounding more childish and confused every day.

Here is my advice which Im certain you will not take. Fuck this boitch when she is around and forget about her when she is not. Act like a man, not a schoolboy.


"I'm thinkin' in a brand new way"-
Sting

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jeoe jeoe rating
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210 posts, 2 feedbacks, 4 points
08-Aug-12, 07:17 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
WFGFE;

Here is a question for you.....and for me and the rest of you guys that get hung up on a provider knowing her job is banging guys.

What is it about us that is willing to settle for so little?

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
08-Aug-12, 07:45 PM (PST)
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17. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #16
 
LAST EDITED ON 08-Aug-12 AT 07:47 PM (PST)
 
Maybe it's just I had not had a fav for a long time and one that came along that made me so comfortable.

sessions with her had been more like two to three hours, we chatted, we went for dinner, coffee, shop and the donation is only for an hour or half hour.

And I was more like care for her thinking she's only UTR and not wanting to do this as much.

As it turns out, I searched records and found she's just another reg provider and maybe she just had lots of clients in her book. Therefore, she does not need to update ad often.


Always Seeking.

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jeoe jeoe rating
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210 posts, 2 feedbacks, 4 points
09-Aug-12, 01:19 PM (PST)
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18. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #17
 
Sounds like you liked this gal, enjoyed the connection, and wanted more. Those are normal responses...... What a set up! I can't imagine you not feeling hurt. I'm sorry.

I've been in this game a long time, known and know a lot of providers, some of the best. I've felt close to a number of them, still do, and even fancied myself in love with a few. I even lived with one for years (she quit the bus for me). Unfortunately we were both ill equipped (or wouldn't) deal with our issues.

A provider by definition is a hustler, constantly running hustles to get the next trick. I don't think that is bad, that is the job. It makes perfect sense from a business standpoint. I do the same thing, I'm in sales. Geez, you can't imagine some of the stuff I've seen providers do over the years to keep the delusion going with their clients, with me. If they didn't keep up that illusion or fantasy, we wouldn't see them or see them as much. That wouldn't be good for business. That is why the top producers can command so much money, they are great at sales and promoting themselves in some sexual fashion. The ones who are the best at raising our delusion command more money. They are providing our dopamine and norepinephrine fix. They are our supply. Does that make sense?

When I give up my power to that delusiton hoping the object of my affection will somehow elevate me in their world, I'd better have some friends that love me that I know and trust who will tell me the truth. I doubt I am hearing it from my provider friend.

Honesty is a key ingredient for relationship success no matter the nature of the relationship. How can that happen with a provider who is constantly hustling for business? Where does that leave you and me my friend? We had better elevate ourself to a position of worthyness and increase our odds of having love returned by picking partners who are more available. Face it, most providers are not available. They are warm, friendly, sexy, aluring and hot....but mostly unavailable. We most likely won't get our needs met (other than sexual and maybe not even then since there is a sexual/love component that a provider doesn't fullfill that our heart longs to have. It is hard wired in us.

I hope this was helpful. At the least, it helped me solidify my thoughts for where I have been and am. I wish you a partner that returns your affection without strings attached to it.

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abc123 abc123 rating
Member since 4-Aug-03
171 posts, 1 feedbacks, 2 points
09-Aug-12, 09:45 PM (PST)
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20. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #17
 
   I am going through the same with my ATF right now.
She will call only when she needs my $.
Time together was great, yet I need to move on if she is not reliable.
I am hoping to move on soon, and having extra $ to spend on other things
makes it easier for me.

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abc123 abc123 rating
Member since 4-Aug-03
171 posts, 1 feedbacks, 2 points
01-Sep-12, 10:39 PM (PST)
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21. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #20
 
   It is now 5 months without a single phone call from her.
I have extra $ nowadays to do a lot of other things other than all on her. Is it worth it? New car or find another atf?

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AnayaDawn69 AnayaDawn69 rating
Member since 21-Aug-10
935 posts, 102 feedbacks, 195 points
03-Dec-12, 08:16 PM (PST)
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31. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #21
 
let me blow your mind

find another atf...

im baffeled that this seems to be a common issue... are girls really not returning their regulars calls? that doesnt make sense to me!

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
04-Dec-12, 05:10 AM (PST)
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32. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #31
 
Always Seeking.
And NO text NO date.

LOL.

Dear, you just dig this up again... Memory. Hmmm.
Maybe she accidentally put his digits in DNA.

Anyway about my girl, she flaked so I said bye and that was then.
Wish her well though, still curious how she's doing.

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human_genome human_genome rating
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6144 posts, 34 feedbacks, 66 points
04-Sep-12, 04:07 AM (PST)
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25. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #17
 
   Now it's more clearto me anyway why you had the feelings of perhaps rejection between calls. The longer than paid for sessions and things like dinner off the clock suggest the possibility of more than a client relationship to you. Quite understandable. It would seem the same to her but not to the same degree. Perhaps you should talk to her about this before dropping her. Just say you enjoy her company, the meetings are not as often is you might like and that you'd like to hear from her between visits to keep the fire going . If she values you she'll accommodate. if not.....

HG

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UNman UNman rating
Member since 13-Jun-05
201 posts, 2 feedbacks, 4 points
04-Dec-12, 10:23 PM (PST)
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35. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #17
 
   wf_gfe_seeker, like you said, a vet making a rookie mistake in evaluation. If you can control it not bugging you, seeing her from time to time is better than nothing. Actually seeing her will keep you on your toes trying hard to find a good replacement similar to what she provides you. Remember, one day she's going to retire or disappear. As a matter of fact you have it good in that she charges you minimum for more time with her. She probably enjoys your company but being that she's running a business, she's giving more time to the guys paying her more.
If you don't mind paying more, you can have a frank conversation with her the next time you see her and ask that if you pay more, would you be able to see her more? Nothing like being straight forward and letting her know she turns you on and that you want more. Worst case is that she will tell you she will try to give you more time. Best of luck seeker.


As in United Nations, Maam.

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marlboroman marlboroman rating
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03-Sep-12, 03:35 AM (PST)
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22. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
I had recently convinced a young provider to leave the game before she got in way too deep, this also was an epiphany too me where I considered retiring from hobbying. I had actually gotten through to this girl and we've been together as SO type of way, but The Odds of us staying together are stacked against in so many ways. I've dated providers in the past and had never put myself out there where It would hurt. This one stings because unfortunately I need to let her go. If your feelings get involved move on & get over it. Then if the chance is still there, be happy with it. My experience, just let the provider provide and stick with civis for relationship.
MM

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asiantyphoon asiantyphoon rating
Member since 11-Sep-07
1022 posts, 22 feedbacks, 37 points
03-Sep-12, 12:44 PM (PST)
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23. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
i understand your problem. i love seeing this young latina but she is not always available. she does anything i want and she is just too damn cute!! whenever she calls or text me wanting a date, i TAKE IT!!! my advice to u is too just keep in touch and if she isn't available to satisfy your needs, just wait! first tell her that you want to see her regularly, this way she knows that you will be a steady source of income for her and this will be a good incentive for her to call u whenever she is avail. i make it clear to my favorite young latina that she can call me anytime. i even gave her my email so she can email me in advance.

"no pussy, no money"

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chiaki
Member since 7-Jul-12
27 posts
03-Sep-12, 08:28 PM (PST)
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24. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
   I feel like if she gives you the opportunity to walk away, you should definitely take it. I might give her a second chance though before completely walking away. Good luck man!

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
04-Sep-12, 06:27 AM (PST)
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26. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #24
 
Always Seeking.
And NO text NO date.

Thank to all for feedback.
Learn a lot through this thread.

Indeed, It is over with the young lady in this thread.
She flaked on me and it's absolutely no acceptable in my book flaking on me.
We parted and wished her luck. And I found out immediately her true self.

Happy hunting you guys and Have fun ladies.

Now, back to working on the new Fav....

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
19-Sep-12, 05:46 AM (PST)
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27. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #26
 
Always Seeking.
And NO text NO date.

Darn, I missed her......

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abc123 abc123 rating
Member since 4-Aug-03
171 posts, 1 feedbacks, 2 points
19-Sep-12, 03:52 PM (PST)
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28. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #27
 
   Just forget her!!
Your hard earn money is still in your pocket.
She is now sucking my weenie for only half of what you paid her

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wf_gfe_seeker wf_gfe_seeker rating
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3926 posts, 38 feedbacks, 69 points
19-Sep-12, 06:27 PM (PST)
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29. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #28
 
Always Seeking.
And NO text NO date.

LMAO. Thanks for the laugh.

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S3XYL3XY
Member since 19-Apr-12
129 posts, Rate S3XYL3XY
27-Sep-12, 09:45 PM (PST)
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30. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
   Try sumin and/or sumone new.
Or make it clear that u need these encounters to be more on ur time..
~
S3XYL3XYl

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captain_spluge captain_spluge rating
Member since 1-Aug-06
3597 posts, 99 feedbacks, 192 points
04-Dec-12, 07:56 AM (PST)
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33. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #0
 
WOW. Is this hard to do. A true ATF becomes friend and lover and that ATF relationship develops over a period of time. I reread all the responses and thought in my head "yeah, that is so true". After things develop and you have spent all that time off the clock having dinners or lunches, hanging out, telling them everything, something unhealthy (IMO) happens. You realize you have developed feelings for her and start to think she has the same feelings for you. In most cases she doesn't. Oh, I am not cynical, nor would I say she is hustling you, just that she is content to be a nice friend when you are together. When you are not together you are thinking of her and wishing you were with her, and she probably has not thought of you since....the last time she saw you.

This doesn't happen in a vacuum. By this point she has gone through the process of staying in touch frequently, maybe you and she even talk on the phone just for friendships sake. But as her circumstances change, your friendship will only be as valuable as it relates to her goals. Why do I say this?

Okay, there is an emotional and a financial investment made when you have an ATF relationship. Most of us don't track it but if you have a long time ATF relationship you are probably into 5 figure territory on the money side, as well as starting to feel you love this person. When things get tough for them and they need to change their business practices, whether that be finding new clients or working somewhere far less convenient for you to see them, you will be surprised and hurt when they do not stay in touch anymore. Even worse is when they bump their ad that they will be a half hour away and don't even ask you if you want to see them. All this time you thought your value to them was a prize or a gift, but that was you just being silly and entitled.

You have been as loyal and probably nicer than 90% of her clients but now she prefers to take her chances with the people she has not yet met. Why? because she has been everyone's ATF, not just your ATF, and she needs to keep getting more repeat clients to stay low volume. You my friend are now in the "taken for granted" column - oh, she will probably see you if you call, assuming she has not booked the time already, but you are no longer getting first crack at seeing her. So one has to decide: can I downgrade myself to just being a VIP client or will that hurt too much?

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KidinaCandyStore KidinaCandyStore rating
Member since 6-Dec-07
7682 posts, 176 feedbacks, 332 points
04-Dec-12, 07:21 PM (PST)
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34. "RE: Accept it, be happy when you are given the chance or move on."
In response to message #33
 
   Should be required reading for any new guy that signs up and the ladies can benefit too. Well said and hits the mark on many occasions. It is interesting, as it parallels the development of the basic stages of a relationship and illustrates that we all must continue to work at our relationship skills no matter the setting, goals, motivation or how much you love someone.

"There's an Italian painter
named Carlotti...

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