Mistakes were made.

Oh, to be a Preferred Loser . . . again!

*sigh*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNaIor5lxN8

PAULI, when do you dance on stage? r u HAWT?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXYn3RkKfU0

Monday (01/25/10) Night Shift

Only recently have I allowed myself the luxury of daydreaming about dancers again. No, not Pamela, but the very lovely Lena. It's been years since I last daydreamed about a dancer. Unless I'm mistaken, the last dancer to fill both my idle thoughts and my idyll dreams was CH Audrey aka MBOT Kayleigh Pierce.

Without Monday Night Football to distract me, I indulged myself to the point of looking up Monday night's line-up. Although I was sorely disappointed in not seeing either Lena or Alina on Monday night's line-up, I did take proper notice of Pamela. The memory of last month's back-to-back-to-back PS's with Pamela brought a smile to my face. Hard as I tried to resist, I soon gave in to the crazy notion of making another late night, banzai run to The Big City.

It is both a curse and a blessing to have more lead in my right foot than in my pencil, so it was with the utmost celerity that I found myself stage side, front and center, at CH. CH Asia, she of the bodacious booty, was scooping up the last of her stage tips as CH Pamela was being announced as the next stage performer.

Naked on stage, CH Pamela is smokin' hot!

Naked in a PS booth, CH Pamela is the stuff dreams, wet or otherwise, are made of.

I tipped well, eagerly anticipating a torrid CH style stage side mini-lap, a tantalizing foretaste of another set of back-to-back-to-back PS's with Pamela. When Pamela finally came my way, she smiled, brushed my tip to the center of the stage, and posed provocatively for a moment before moving on. I tipped equally well during her second and third songs, but my love and affection for Pamela went wholly unrequited. Maybe she didn't remember me from the previous month. I am, after all, an average looking, nondescript schlub. No matter. Once I got Pamela naked in a PS booth, all would be right with the world again. Mmmmmm, Pamela! With visions of Ms Sugar Plum dancing in my head, I moved to a more accessible, dancer friendly seat and I waited for Pamela to come my way.

I waited and I waited. And then, I waited some more. Pamela never came my way. Ashley, Melissa, Mya, and Skye all took a turn on stage, but Pamela never came my way. I even moved to an aisle seat near the DJ's booth, where Pamela was just hanging out with a bunch of guys, hoping she would notice me, but Pamela never came my way.

Oh, to be a Preferred Loser again!

If I were a Preferred Loser, Pamela would have jumped my bones the moment I walked through the foyer.

If I were a Preferred Loser, Pamela would have found me and come directly to my seat right after her stage show.

If I were a Preferred Loser and she couldn't find me, Pamela would have asked the DJ to page me: "Pauli to the DJ booth. Pauli to the DJ booth. Pauli to the DJ booth."

If I were a Preferred Loser, I wouldn't have gone home with dedicated back-to-back-to-back-to-back PS money still in my pocket unspent.

By 1:00 AM, the dancer rotation had rolled back to Asia and then to Pamela again. Still, Pamela never came my way. As I did during Pamela's previous stage show, I sat by the stage and tipped well. Pamela always smiled at me and appeared appreciative of my tips, but she never showed me any "big love" while she was on stage. Pamela showed me alot of other things while on stage, and it was a pretty "sweet" show if you know what I mean. It just wasn't "big love".

When Pamela finished her stage show, it was nearly 1:30 AM, too late for even one PS, let alone three or four, because the club closes on Monday nights at or before 2:00 AM. I was now both a Perplexed Loser and a Puzzled Loser. I could understand if Pamela did not remember me from last month, but I simply could not understand why she never came my way to ask for a dance. If Pamela didn't recognize me or didn't remember me, that still wasn't reason enough for her not to come my way and re-introduce herself because Monday night was an extremely slow night. At one point during the evening, Mystery, mistaking me for fresh meat, smiled at me as if she were about to ask me for a dance, something she hasn't done even once in the last seven years. That's how slow of a night Monday was.

I could have gone home before Pamela returned to the main theater from the dancers' dressing room, but I chose to stay a bit longer simply because I needed to know why she never came my way. So I parked myself in stripper row, by the middle PS booths, and I waited for Pamela.

When Pamela emerged from the dancers' dressing room, she stopped and stood by the far end of stripper row, and showed no indication of ever coming my way. I finally got Pamela's attention and motioned her to come sit down next to me. Without any enthusiasm, Pamela did so gingerly. Thoroughly confused, and slightly miffed, I botched and bungled badly the small talk with Pamela. My mouth was moving, but honestly, I wasn't saying anything that made any sense to me or to her. There is no more pathetic sight in a SC than an erstwhile Preferred Loser with no mojo.

More than a few of you are probably having a good laugh at my expense right now, but you shouldn't laugh too heartily because this could happen to you someday. Trust me. If you make the stupid mistakes I made on Monday night, it will happen to you.

It was 1:30 AM and too late for a PS. It was apparent that she, Pamela, was never going to ask me for a dance of any kind that night, so I asked her. Our one dance became two just as the club started to wind down for the night. Our first topless dance started awkwardly, but once the misunderstanding between the two of us was cleared up, our second one, though tinged with the regret of what could have been, was utterly delightful.

During our first dance, Pamela surprised me when she said that she in fact did remember me. As for why Pamela never came my way, let alone never asking me for a dance, it was because she thought I was blowing her off earlier in the evening. WTF??? Pamela said that she had waved at me earlier in the evening. I didn't see Pamela waving at me, so I couldn't and didn't acknowledge her wave, which she misinterpreted as my blowing her off. Hence, Pamela's reluctance and aversion to come my way at any time during the course of the entire evening.

Too many mistakes were made on Monday night to list them all.

I could and should have asked Pamela for a dance during her first stage show.

I could and should have intercepted Pamela as she returned to the main theater from the dancers' dressing room after her first stage show and asked her for a dance.

Instead of just waving at me and thinking that I saw her, Pamela could have just walked over and said "hello" if jumping my bones was too undignified for her.

As we said good night, we promised each other that the next time would be better.

Oh, to be a Preferred Loser again.