Now this is an assertion on which I am dead positive will not garner one iota of agreement, especially on this PL forum...but I will persist just because I have been thinking about this for years and you smart and sensitive dudes may decide to disabuse me of this obviously negative attitude.

If one examines the human body-and I have done this within countless sessions of artists' life drawing classes as well as visits to the beach and strip clubs-a certain jaded familiarity ensues...a tiresome search for true beauty..I mean the beauty one sees in the animal kingdom; the fabulous bodies of the Cheetah or the Jaguar...apes and monkeys are ugly because they resemble humans.

Observe the Carbon-based unit design flaws as evidenced in a short litany of human frailties:

1.Humans are weak and vulnerable-our bodies are easily compromised or destroyed in an energetic encounter with larger or heavier objects. We have no real protective mechanism to shield our organs and the skin is easily punctured. We cannot roam the earth at speeds of 60 MPH as the Cheetah does. The only advantage we have is to be able to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.

2. Humans have inefficient sensory equipment..even dogs can hear an octave above most people. Birds have intrinsic, 'instinctual' navigational tools => so we invent the compass, theodolite and GPS.

We invent substitutes for these paltry senses of ours and have spent most of our time and energy in creating analogs as substitutes for the lost or unused features evidenced by 'primitive' people; like spectacles, microscopes, telescopes, x-ray devices, MRI, pacemakers, telephone, TV and a host of other devices. Even some birds play music more complex and 'beautiful' than a Charlie Parker riff.

3. Humans have defective nutritional wants and needs. Substances, like Carbs and sweeteners, comprise much of the average diet...substances that defile and degrade the human cellular makeup, and over time the use of same results in sickness and premature death.

4.Humans are mutually self-destructive, and in general putrid little weasel-like creatures. They foul their own nest as a routine matter and boast about it. The dominant activity on the planet over the centuries has been comprised of killing other Homo Sapiens-with increasing efficiency.

5.The human form is brutish and malformed...by having an external bilateral symmetry and spindly extremities the body is unbalanced, and walking or standing in an upright position is contra-indicated for optimum health...we devise 'comfortable' shoes to reduce the inevitable shock of walking or running.

6. Human organs are failure prone: Why two kidneys and only one liver? What is the purpose of the Appendix? Tonsils? Why the three brains? So little is known about the true functioning of internal systems that the medical profession can prescribe any old chemical and the Placebo kicks in to vet it.

There's more but probably a bore.

So, why do I frequent Strip clubs? I honestly beleve its because I am trying to understand my own internal (illogical) mechanism that produces a massive rush of blood to my nether regions whenever I look at JADE's ass or JUSTINES rack...Mea Culpa.

Had it not been for all that tap dancing regarding the less than unerring human form, the title of your thread could easily be misconstrued as being exclusive to a particular group, or stable of "fugly" strippers. That said; would it be fair to say that the issue of going to strip clubs is unrelated to the subject of the human form and its less than stellar attributes?!?

BTW, JADE does have a great bod/ASS for an Asian girl, from the one time I saw her walking around CH...

Thanks, Eddie/Elvis

1) Which is why the burden fell upon humans to invent Kevlar and the 12ga Ithaca pump rather than to that poor nameless mountain lion in Berkeley. Specific to the Cheetah, Carroll Shelby would laugh at 60mph.

2) Unlike dogs we can see color. Many colors. Many pretty colors. Pretty wild colors....man. Like, wow.

3) Carnivores on the African savanah would crack the large bones of their prey for the highly nutritious marrow within. Italians in the cafes of Florence do likewise with their osso bucco.

4) Dogs eat their own poop. We, as a general rule, do not. And we can see colors.

5) I will concur to this one. When engaging in what is commonly known as "doggy style" I find the placement of the female breasts too far away and that of the clitoris rather difficult for the requisite "reach around".

6) Mr Pedantic notes that the liver can self-heal given the absence of corner liquor stores. Kidneys are what is known as a redundant system. The purpose of the appendix has actually been reconsidered. While vestigial in nature, it does seem to be a storehouse of the probiotic bacteria needed in the gut. Lastly, don't give folk medicine a short shrift. Chicken (or hot and sour) soup soup has proven medicinal qualities. Likewise mint leaves. To the latter, it's odd that the indigestion relieving mint should be so often paired with a stomach irritant-caffeine-found in chocolate.

But I tell you this: I appreciate the fact that we've evolved the ability to rub one out (by self or w/ the help of our ATF) for pleasure and that the sight of erectile tissue capped fat masses on the female pectoral floods our minds with want and desire.

With that, I now desire some wonton. See you in Chinatown.

Do have a question about a Red Book VIP membership for you Borg. Do you just have to pay one monthly fee, since you claim to be "one mind" or do each one of you Borg drones have to pay an individual membership?

I would imagine it's pretty tough coming to a concensus on which provider should be approached, given the fact that the Borg collective probably draws on the experience of thousands of the Borg drones. I'd love to see who the collective has agreed are the top 5 providers, but that would probably involve me becoming Borg.

Finally, when the Borg collective does decide on a provider, which one of the drones gets to do the deed? I can't imagine they all get to, though at $200 X drone, that would be a hellava month for some lucky (though completely overworked) provider.

Which brings up another thing. Incall or Outcall. How does a provider explain the long line of drones outside her incall? And how do you guys get an outcall provider out to your Cube? Is she supposed to figure out where the entrance is or do you Borg just tractor-beam her close, then beam her on-board?

Hey, I'm just a human!! I don't know how this stuff works.