I’ve been practicing Tantra for over 10 years, and I find it’s still hard to explain. But here goes . . .

Tantra originated in India about 2000 years ago. Today in California, the ancient practices have been modernized and made more accessible to people who are from this culture. A central element of Tantra is a focus upon various breath techniques, which can have
very profound effects. It is a spiritual practice that uses life-force energy as a means to access an expanded state of consciousness. It's a natural high, with no side effects!

You can experience Tantra on many different levels, or all of them. First, it enables you to go to higher levels of pleasure and to have a much more full-body experience of sex. For many people that is enough. And, hey, I’m not knocking it! What’s not to like?

Another benefit is that it can help you have a deeper and more intimate connection with your partner. The word Tantra is a Sanskrit word which means "to connect", or "to weave." There are simple practices which help you harmonize and connect with a partner in a very profound way.

And, last but not least, it is truly a portal to divine energy. It’s not a coincidence that many people, when having an orgasm, say "Oh, god, oh god!" In my view, pleasure is prayer. When the pleasure energy gets so great that it is streaming through your body and out your head there is a merging with divine energy. What a great way to pray!

More to come later.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

Another alternative is possible, and that is called the "valley orgasm" or the "full-body orgasm." On a graph, this orgasm shows valleys among the peaks, so that the energy is wave-like in form. This is an orgasm that happens mostly with relaxation, and by using certain Tantric breath techniques. Since the body is not working so hard, as in a peak orgasm, a valley orgasm can last for very long periods of time – even an hour is possible. (Yes, I’m talking about men here.) The sensations in a valley orgasm are quite different than a peak orgasm. It is not as genitally focused but rather the whole body is involved. Waves of energy travel up and down the body so that you are riding upon ripples of pleasure. The genitals feel pleasure, but so do the spine, the legs the arms, and all the body. And being in a state of pleasure for an extended period of time can lead to mystical experiences of union -- with yourself, your partner and with the divine.

This is not to say that peak orgasms are bad or wrong. They have their place. If you only have time for a "quickie" in the morning, they are great. And to have the option of the valley orgasm as well adds to your experience.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

Many men are not aware that orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing. They usually happen so close to each other that it seems like the same thing, but it is actually possible to separate them. You know that tingly feeling that you get just before ejaculation (if you’re a man)? That’s orgasm. With certain Tantric breath techniques, and a lot of practice, it becomes possible to go up to that edge, to experience orgasm, and then back off before ejaculation. And it’s ejaculation that stops the energy. Orgasm is very energizing, and it can go on for a long time. I’ve personally seen men be in orgasmic energy for up to an hour, without ejaculating. I’ve also seen men be in orgasmic energy without even having an erection, just through certain breathing techniques. And many men choose to not ejaculate because it drains the energy. Which doesn’t mean that they aren’t orgasmic.

Getting to this stage takes a lot of practice. It takes familiarity with your body and with the techniques. No promises! But it’s certainly a bit of incentive to motivate you to practice. And, hey, practice is fun. You really can’t go wrong.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

Lingam: means penis. Its literal translation is wand of light.

Yoni: means vulva. Its literal translation is sacred space.

Attitudes towards sexuality are reflected in language. It’s no accident that the concepts that go with these words are foreign to many in this sex-negative culture. I’d love to encourage a world that these words would actually reflect.

And, what I’ve noticed in myself is that as I’ve done my own work with the conditioning that society lays on us all, other words have lost their negative charge. I personally think that the words cock, pussy, etc. are just as beautiful and honorable as lingam and yoni.

Another thought about lingam: If it’s a wand of light, then semen is the light coming out of the wand. It’s your (men’s) life force, your essence, and should be honored and treated as sacred.

Some people have asked what a tantrika is. Simple, a practitioner of Tantra. And it’s pronounced Tahn-tra, (The a is sounded like "ah".)

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

The Kundalini energy is often visualized as a serpent. In everyday states, the serpent is coiled sleeping in the pelvis. When the Kundalini awakens, it uncoils and rises up the center of the body in a pathway just in front of the spine. As it does, it awakens and opens the chakras (energy centers that are mainly along the spine).

Kundalini can be awakened in many ways. Breathing techniques, meditation practices, dancing, and yes, you horny Redbook guys and ladies, sexual interactions are all ways to activate the Kundalini. The awakening can be gentle or quite dramatic. If the body is ready and the process is gradual it can be an ecstatic and enlivening experience. When the Kundalini begins to rise, it is often perceived as heat rising up the center of the torso. The orgasmic flush that happens on people's chest and neck is from Kundalini. It can also feel like tingles moving up, or a rush of energy moving up the spine. Its movement feels quite pleasurable.

Tantra practices are concerned with working with the Kundalini energy to achieve higher states of consciousness and expanded awareness. Some are quite simple to learn, others take years to master. Practice is the key, and what a great thing to practice!

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

So the practice becomes coming back to the moment, over and over again, until everything but the present moment melts away. There are some simple tools to help you do that. Breathing is one. (Bet you’re surprised to hear that – it seems to be my standard solution, doesn’t it? Well, it is for a reason.) Just taking a few deep breaths into the belly, and focusing your attention on your breath can make a real difference in how present you are.

Eye contact is another way to get more present. It’s a way to look into another person’s soul. If you take the word intimacy and stretch it out, it says "Into-me-see". Eye contact can be a bit daunting to those who are not used to it, but it gets easier with practice. And it’s very sweet. A wonderful way to connect. Someone once asked me what was my favorite body part of a man, what do I look at when I’m checking someone out, and my answer was, "The eyes." That’s where you can see who a person really is. (Of course, butts aren’t bad, either! Hehe.)

To me, presence is the key to a good interaction with someone, no matter what the situation. You can be with the most beautiful, physically desirable person, doing some activity that you have always dreamed of, and if they are not present, then there’s something important missing. And conversely, no matter what the physical beauty or lack of it may be, no matter what the activity, true presence really turns me on.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

My theory of what is happening here is that there is a conflict between the Self and the self. The Self (with a capital S) is your true essence, your soul, your higher self. And the self (with a little s) is your personality, your ego, your earthbound self. The self is the part of us that has it all worked out how to function in this world. Based upon early experiences, it has set up patterns of behavior that work to keep it safe. The Self doesn’t care so much about that; it is interested in your growth and evolution as a spirit being. The Self is drawn to the realms of ecstasy, where we contact our highest states of being. Pleasure is a way to get there. However, to the self, the realms of ecstasy are threatening. We break out of our box, where it is safe and comfortable, and go into unknown realms, where it might be dangerous. So the self tries desperately to stop us. "I won’t like the music." Or we stub our toe, or bump our head.

I worked a lot with expanding my upper limits a few years ago. I had a new lover, one who was able to take me to places that I had never been before (and my upper limits were already pretty high J). I would find that I would reach a place where I would just think that I couldn’t take anymore. Rather than shutting down at that point, I would just slow down momentarily, take a deep breath, and imagine that there was a container in my body that holds pleasure. With the deep inhale, I would imagine that I was expanding my container of pleasure just a tiny bit. I could usually make room for a little more. Trying to make room for a lot more was too much to handle, but a little bit was ok. Slowly, over months, I was able to go to higher and higher levels of pleasure.

While I worked on this issue in the area of sexuality, it spilled over into all areas of my life. I am able to tolerate more pleasure than ever before, and as a result, my life is one of great pleasure and happiness.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

These concepts have been useful for friends that I have known who have a problem with premature ejaculation. Often it seems that the pleasure gets so intense that the container gets full too quickly, and the man ejaculates just to get rid of the energy. I’ve worked with a couple of friends who had this problem, and we approached it by gradually retraining the body to be able to hold more pleasure. As the body learns to tolerate more pleasure, the man is able to last longer, and to go to higher levels of pleasure. It doesn’t happen overnight, but I’ve seen men be surprised at how fast it does change.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

It’s easy to have a transpersonal connection with someone just by looking into his or her eyes and being open. Remarkable connections can form with a total stranger, connections that nourish the need in us to be seen in our beauty and light.

I enjoy both levels when I am with a client. I like getting to know someone on a personal level, finding out about what they’re interested in, what makes them sparkle. This happens more over time, as we get to know each other. And I love the spirit connection, the feeling of getting lost in someone’s eyes, and seeing the beauty of their soul. This can happen instantly, if both people allow it.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

There are interesting energetics involved with sacred spot massage. It is an opportunity for a man to experience his yin, or receptive, side. Most of the time men are more in the yang, or active, energy. The act of penetrating someone else is a yang energy. And the process of being penetrated is unusual for a man who hasn’t experienced prostate massage often. It can bring out a softer energy, which can be quite restful for those who must be assertive or aggressive most of the time.

Many times when I’ve done prostate massage with friends, they report afterwards that they feel much more open and grounded energetically. They have told me that this lasts for several days.

Some men hesitate to try prostate massage for a variety of reasons. Often I’ve heard men express the fear that if they try it, or especially if they like it, they might be gay. This is not at all the case. Many straight men enjoy prostate massage, with no lessening of their masculinity. And there are gay men who don’t even enjoy anal sex. I figure that if our bodies are made to have the capacity for pleasure in a certain way, then we’re made to enjoy that pleasure without it having negative connotations.

Another common reason not to try it is that the only experience that many men have had is a prostate exam with a doctor. I had a friend who was a medical doctor once. He told me that they train doctors in medical school to be rough when doing exams, so patients don’t get it mixed up with sexuality. (Yes, I know it’s barbaric.) The process of doing sacred spot massage is very different. It is done very slowly, with an attitude of reverence towards the body and the being. When I do sacred spot massage with friends, I make sure that the body is saying yes every step of the way. My intention is to give the body a pleasurable experience, not to reach some goal of insertion if the body is not ready. The more pleasure the body experiences, the more it wants. Allowing the body to open at its own pace, rather than forcing my way in ensures that the experience is a pleasurable one.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

Lots of people use the term "tantric goddess". I have very mixed feelings about the term. Too often people confuse "goddess" with superior. This happens with both men and women. I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Back off, I’m a goddess." And I’ve met a few men who used goddess worship as a euphemism for dominance/submission play. To me, this is not the true meaning of goddess energy. The true goddess energy is not about power over another. It is about power, but it is power from within, and from the goddess.
(Don’t get me wrong, dominance/submission play is great, but it’s different than what I’m talking about here.)

And every goddess deserves to meet a god, a man who can also embody the best of male sexuality. This is a man who is secure in his sexuality, strong in his male energy, and like the goddess, doesn’t need to have power over another. A true tantrika will be honored to meet a man like this, and will also do everything in her power to bring out this quality in every man.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

"Honoring the lingam" is one way to refer to pleasuring a man. This pleasuring can take many forms, but the honoring is constant. To hold a man’s genitals as if you are holding something precious; to touch with the utmost reverence and respect; to make every touch be one of consciousness and presence; all this is involved in honoring the lingam. And this leads to being very tuned in, to feeling each tiny reaction in the man’s body, to playing with his energy as the highest art form. It becomes a dance of energy. What a joy to do!

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

The word whore comes from the Babylonian word harae, which means healer. These were the temple priestesses, who used their sexual energy for healing. Each woman served a time as priestess, and as part of her service, was sexual with those who came to the temple. Men returning from war were especially in need of their services. (See Deena Metzger’s book, Women Who Slept with Men to Take the War Out of Them.)

While I’m not a historian (and I may have some of the details wrong), I relate very strongly to this concept. After thousands of years of suppression, there is a modern-day emergence of the sacred prostitute. (See Kenneth Ray Stubbs’ Women of the Light.) This is embodied in the sex worker who sees herself as priestess, who knows that her body is a vessel for divine energy, and that those who come to her do so for healing. The healing can take many forms. It can be as simple as feeling the softness of a woman’s touch. It can be the easing of a lonely heart. It can be the delight of having fun together. Or it can be the upliftment of using the sexual energy as a gateway to the other realms, to divine consciousness.

A respect for the soft power of women is inherent in this attitude. This is not power over another, this is power from within. This is a respect for women as equal but different, and a respect in men of their own feminine side.

The goddess is at work through providers. Sometimes she has a very narrow opening, when the woman herself doesn’t recognize the sacredness of the work, but it is still there. And when the provider knows and actively nourishes this aspect, magic can happen. Whatever the case, providers deserve our respect.

I begin each day by asking Spirit to work through me, to use me as a channel for whatever it is that my client needs. I actively invoke the priestess energy, asking that I touch each person I meet that day in a way that serves the highest good of all.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

The second chakra, or sex center, is located in the lower abdomen and pelvis. It is the center of sexual energy, and also of creativity. The heart chakra is located in the center of the chest, not over the physical heart, and it is the center of love and compassion. Perhaps you’ve felt an ache in the chest when you’re really sad, or you feel like your heart is breaking. That’s the heart chakra. The crown chakra is on the top of the head, opening up toward the heavens, and it is the way that we connect with Spirit.

One of my spirit guides told me once that one of the things I’m here on earth to do is to teach people that all of the chakras have equal value, and all are necessary. Many people, however, value some chakras over others. A lot of so-called new-age, spiritual people are only comfortable with the heart chakra and higher. They avoid the lower centers, especially the sex center. And other people stay focused in the sex center, and avoid the higher centers. Either way, something is missing.

Those who are stuck in the heart and higher are missing a great source of power. The lower centers are rich and juicy, full of energy and life. And those who are stuck in the sex center are missing the exquisite energy of the higher centers. It’s like music, with the low notes and the high notes. The best music is when it is all included.

I enjoy working with those who are ready to discover it all. No matter where your preoccupation has been, if there is a preoccupation, there is a limitation. Expanding into the full range of expression allows for a deeper and richer experience. I love witnessing people who are activating centers that they haven’t before. The wonder and amazement that they express is delightful. I had a client the other day who felt the centers in his head open, and he saw golden light and heard a choir singing. This is a realm that I’m very familiar with, and I love to share it with others.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

A very powerful process is to make love to yourself in front of a mirror, while keeping eye contact. We all look our most beautiful when we’re in our sexual energy, and many of us don’t see ourselves then. It’s an opportunity to see yourself in a new way, and to appreciate your own beauty. You can even talk to yourself. Look into your own eyes, and say, "I love you." It’s a great way to build self-esteem.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

The kundalini (sexual) energy itself has an intelligence of its own. It knows where to go, and just by activating it, it will go where it is needed, even without your conscious direction. However, it is more powerful when you direct it consciously.

You can also use the energy of another as well. Gong back to that injured knee, you can be assisted in healing it. One way is to ask a woman to put her yoni (vagina) on it, preferably when it’s very juicy and turned on. There’s a lot of energy there, as I’m sure you’re all aware. She can consciously send her energy into you. It’s a powerful transmission. (And even if it doesn’t heal it, it’s pretty fun!)

Sexual energy can also be used for emotional healing. One of my favorite ways is for a woman to place her yoni on someone’s heart. I’ve seen friends just open up and weep for a long time when I’ve done this, and they have felt much lighter and more joyful afterward. It’s extremely healing, and helps people to get in touch with what they are carrying in their heart.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

Intention begins before touching starts. It’s important to check in with yourself, to ask yourself what your intention really is. Is your touch about giving or about getting something? The person receiving your touch can feel your intention, whether she/he is consciously aware of it or not. When your intention is truly to give, your touch is more likely to be pleasurable. When your touch is about getting some need of yours met, it may not be as pleasurable.

Attention is very important as well. Attention affects the quality of touch dramatically. By attention what I mean is that your focus is on your hand and on the place that you are touching. You are present with the touch, and your energy is all the way in your hand and going into the body of the person you are touching. The energy of the hand begins at the spine, at the heart center. When it flows out from the heart down the arms and into the hands and fingers, the touch is alive and electric. When the energy is not moving, or attention is elsewhere, the touch feels absent and dead.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

With any kind of pleasuring, create anticipation. Tease a little. This allows the receiver’s energy to awaken, and to reach out to connect with you. They want it! If you come in too fast, the only possible energetic response from the receiver is to retreat. Creating anticipation allows the receiver’s energy to be engaged.

For example, if you wanted to pleasure the nipple, you could first just look at it. Contact it with your energy before you even touch. Breathe on it. Lightly touch and then move your touch somewhere else. This helps to wake the nipple up, and let it start wanting attention. When there is an energetic invitation, then move into physical touch.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

Variation can come from changes in pressure (light or firm), in speed (slow or fast), the place you are touching, the length of the stroke, or the direction of the stroke. Touch can move on a continuum from very yin (soft, slow) to very yang (hard, fast). Very yin touch might be using your breath on the skin, or brushing the hairs without touching the skin. Very yang could be grabbing firmly, biting, or spanking. And there’s a wonderful range in between. Of course, a stroke can combine elements of both yin and yang, for example a light and fast stroke. There’s a playground to explore in these variations, moving from yin to yang and places in between.

Generally, it is best to start with more yin touch, to allow the body to warm up. Save the more yang touch for when energy is moving and your partner is more aroused. They will be much more likely to enjoy it then. Otherwise, you might be met with an "Ouch!"

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

Let your hands be relaxed rather than stiff, so that they can follow the contours of the body. Relaxed hands feel better to the body, and they also can transmit more energy.

When in doubt, slow down. A slow touch conveys a sense of spaciousness, a timelessness that feels quite luxurious.

Abigail, your sweet tantrika

Legal notice: With reference to California Penal code section 647(b) and CALJIC No. 16.420, the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.

sex is only the beginning
http://forum.myredbook.com/cgi-bin/dcforum2/dcboard.pl?az=show_thread&om=10531&forum=DCForumID21

sexual addiction
http://forum.myredbook.com/cgi-bin/dcforum2/dcboard.pl?az=show_thread&om=10648&forum=DCForumID21

the "real" world
http://forum.myredbook.com/cgi-bin/dcforum2/dcboard.pl?az=show_thread&om=10804&forum=DCForumID21

enlightenment
http://forum.myredbook.com/cgi-bin/dcforum2/dcboard.pl?az=show_thread&om=11038&forum=DCForumID21

sex is more than physical
http://forum.myredbook.com/cgi-bin/dcforum2/dcboard.pl?az=show_thread&om=11141&forum=DCForumID21