1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming,
that's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
this describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
but I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other,
that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,

and so are you, but, the roses are wilting, the violets

are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace,
but don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes,
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away,
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
two parts vodka, one part lime.

My addition:

You were always the love of my life,
So why did I fuck up and make you my wife?

Too much sex is still not enough