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Reading Topic #11847

summerrayne summerrayne rating
Member since 27-Apr-09
3148 posts, 78 feedbacks, 150 points		 20-Aug-10, 08:16 AM (PST)
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"DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
 
I am very massage and *client* centered, however, when a gentleman asks to switch places on the table so he can **return the favor **, we're in one of the shorter sessions and/or running out of time, it doesn't make sense to me.

I would rather use the time for an erotic, soapy-shower "Hasta la vista" than feel pressured to orgasm within a small time-frame.

I don't fake orgasms (that's what you pay some of the FS & PSE girls for).

That and my clitoris is not like a light switch - you can't just flick the switch and turn it on.

If I'm hungry (would like to gulp down some soup or something between sessions), worried about time or whatever (I schedule at least a hhr between clients but some show up early) - an orgasm just isn't going to happen for me anyway.

But if I politely decline and steer the session in another direction, I fear disappointing the gentleman and getting a bad review.

I'd love to hear how gentlemen and providers feel about this
"touchy subject."

I'll check back in on my data phone from school later on break.


TGIF!

It's always Summer at my place! xoxo

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billydetroit billydetroit rating
Member since 23-Jan-07
3032 posts, 152 feedbacks, 267 points		 20-Aug-10, 08:18 AM (PST)
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1. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #0
 
Great question. I fear there is no "answer". xo bd

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enophile enophile rating
Member since 3-Dec-04
505 posts, 2 feedbacks, 3 points		 20-Aug-10, 12:35 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #1
 
   State in your ad that clients who enjoy reciprocating should let you know at the beginning of the session so that you can plan accordingly. This will give you a polite way out if a client asks to reciprocate at minute 55 of a 60 minute session.

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summerrayne summerrayne rating
Member since 27-Apr-09
3148 posts, 78 feedbacks, 150 points		 20-Aug-10, 01:43 PM (PST)
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17. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #14
 
LAST EDITED ON 20-Aug-10 AT 01:46 PM (PST)
 
thats a great idea! thank u! - It's always Summer at my place! xoxo

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DarynRoseFBSM
Member since 7-Jul-10
34 posts		 20-Aug-10, 08:44 AM (PST)
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2. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #0
 
   This is a great question! I too feel there is no answer.

"...My clitoris is not like a light switch - you can't just flick the switch and turn it on."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

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cubbie
Member since 1-Jul-08
73 posts		 20-Aug-10, 04:15 PM (PST)
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24. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #2
 
   Oralio..she is all about her clients whether CMT or FBSM. Not a drop of blood with the word "I", ME,...SHE IS A CLASS ACT AND A DAMN GOOD MASSEUSE.

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oralio oralio rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
36158 posts, 126 feedbacks, 215 points		 20-Aug-10, 08:55 AM (PST)
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3. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 20-Aug-10 AT 09:05 AM (PST)
 
I counted 13 references to either "I" "me", "my".

At least we now know what you like.

Here's my answer -- I prefer women who don't think about themselves so much during intimacy.

Be the change
you wish to see

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summerrayne summerrayne rating
Member since 27-Apr-09
3148 posts, 78 feedbacks, 150 points		 20-Aug-10, 10:49 AM (PST)
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7. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #3
 
i am client centered but posing a valid question to the forum so i can only relate my experience and ask others for theirs. thank you for your sensitive honest input. breaks over back to advanced anatomy . sorry for lack of capitalizations etc im on my data phone. It's always Summer at my place! xoxo

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DavyBaby DavyBaby rating
Charter Member
1165 posts, 22 feedbacks, 41 points		 20-Aug-10, 11:26 AM (PST)
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9. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #3
 
   Holy Cow. Can you say "BAGGAGE?"

Personally, I love to hear a provider's opinion. You're constantly harping on the insincerity here, how providers put forth a phony front to drum up business, but when a provider puts forth her honest opinion, you slam her?

My hope is that the provider will ignore you, but like that one asshole who can't shut up in a movie theater, I doubt that will happen.

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oralio oralio rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
36158 posts, 126 feedbacks, 215 points		 20-Aug-10, 03:51 PM (PST)
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20. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #9
 
For a guy who calls others assholes for not shutting up, you sure inject a lot of commentary on my posts.

Be the change
you wish to see

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DavyBaby DavyBaby rating
Charter Member
1165 posts, 22 feedbacks, 41 points		 20-Aug-10, 04:08 PM (PST)
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23. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #20
 
   You're comparing my 1,163 posts in 8 years to your 35,000?

Yes, I'm the talkative one.

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peachgal peachgal rating
Charter Member
5087 posts, 34 feedbacks, 56 points		 20-Aug-10, 11:32 AM (PST)
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11. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #3
 
Holy crap she is posting about HER end of the DATY experience. And she is Trying to be helpful, to lend some understanding by sharing her valid POV fer cryin' out loud. (Bangs head against wall)

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bingobangobongo
Member since 24-Mar-10
118 posts, Rate bingobangobongo		 20-Aug-10, 12:21 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #3
 
   Ah yes, true colors are not able to be hidden. Why bother posting Oralio. You slam her for no good reason. Pathetic.

BBB

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oralio oralio rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
36158 posts, 126 feedbacks, 215 points		 20-Aug-10, 03:54 PM (PST)
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21. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #13
 
You slam me for no reason. Because you're a forum coward who is afraid to criticize a regular provider poster.

She has a posting pattern which is extremely self-possessed. The threadpost is not an isolated situation. It is a pattern. She freely comments on everyone else's posts. Revealingly, when I comment similarly, I get piled on while she gets a bye. That makes your post a sad joke.

Be the change
you wish to see

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Lexi_kitten Lexi_kitten rating
Member since 27-Apr-08
152 posts, 8 feedbacks, 16 points		 20-Aug-10, 12:56 PM (PST)
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15. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #3
 
   >I counted 13 references to either "I" "me", "my".
>
>At least we now know what you like.
>
>Here's my answer -- I prefer women who don't think about
>themselves so much during intimacy.
>
I must say that I have NEVER been triggered by a response on this board until now. Really? This is your honest feeling about this sincere, vulnerable, well-written, inquiry of curiosity? Some of your posts recently have resonated with me, Oralio, and I have even gone as far as asking myself why people respond so vehemently to you but find myself in that camp at this time. I would like to invite you, if you feel the need, to add, change, or clarify your response. We all say (or even write) things that maybe we wish we could alter or take back.

If you stand by what you wrote, than I will send love and compassion your way and hope that one day you understand that life is so much more rich when we approach it with humor, curiosity, and compassion. We are all on this ride together, after all!

-Lexi

btw...9% of your response consisted of "I" and "we" (approximately, and not including your quoting her) versus her usage which comes in at 6%.......just sayin'

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oralio oralio rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
36158 posts, 126 feedbacks, 215 points		 20-Aug-10, 03:55 PM (PST)
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22. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #15
 
Please, pity me. I couldn't live without it.

Be the change
you wish to see

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doublenuts doublenuts rating
Member since 25-Apr-05
276 posts, 7 feedbacks, 14 points		 20-Aug-10, 04:17 PM (PST)
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25. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #15
 
   Lexi,

There is no point in responding to an Oralio post with disagreement; even though yours was respectful, conscious, and loving, he was not the least bit interested in what you had to say. In addition, he will probably conclude that I am writing this to gain favor with you, though we have never met.

Whether you agree or disagree with him, I advise not participating. It is never a conversation, there is no room for growth or understanding the other with whom you might disagree...it is usually just insulting and reactive.

I find I agree with his perspective sometimes, disagree more...and virtually always find a problem with his delivery.

D'Nuts

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Derf Derf rating
Charter Member
1311 posts, 7 feedbacks, 13 points		 20-Aug-10, 09:05 AM (PST)
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4. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #0
 
The guy is paying but it's still your show, not all guys understand this, they treat some ladies like property, they are not. Those"areas" can become hype sensitive, some guys are ham fisted at best.
hold your ground, if the guy gives you a bad review, he missed the concept.
So there!!!

Derf
If it fly's floats or fucks, rent it

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Montana Montana rating
Charter Member
164 posts, 3 feedbacks, 6 points		 20-Aug-10, 09:52 AM (PST)
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6. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #4
 
For me it would be not what you say but how you say it. Both client and provider should be comfortable in expressing their feelings including boundaries. The very ambiance of FBSM arouses sensual behavior and FBSM+ does set certain extended expectations. An informed partner is an understanding partner. Saying ‘no’ to DATY as the session nears closure doesn’t mean saying ‘no’ to your client. Your sensual nature hasn’t changed here just your time constraints.

Communicating your reason will make it easier for your client to understand, and will avoid perceived hurt or feelings of rejection. While stating the reason, make it clear he’s not the reason. The intimacy you have created in the session will not diminish but rather increase the relationship respect if you tell him lets plan on making this something special next visit so I can be ready to really enjoy your pleasuring me.

FBSM+ menu boundaries are situational and vary from session to session so you should not worry as you are the orchestra leader and the crescendo you create is all about how your listener hears you.

Save the last appointment for me...

Montana

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BlueLantern BlueLantern rating
Member since 13-Jun-09
513 posts, 14 feedbacks, 26 points		 20-Aug-10, 01:50 PM (PST)
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18. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #6
 
+1

It's all in how you frame it for him. Something along the lines of:

"I'd love to, but I'm concerned that we don't have the time. I can take a while, and I don't want you to feel disappointed if we have to stop early."

Since you're so client centered, you should realize that some clients highly desire to please their partners. Not everyone is so "orgasm focused" that they realize that you can still receive a great amount of pleasure and satisfaction without having an orgasm. If I was the guy in this situation, I'd much rather be given options so I can best decide how I'd like to end the session.

"If you want to, we can, but we may run out of time. If you'd like, we can always do it next time."

Some guys would be perfectly happy to show his appreciation, even if it is just for a short while. By letting him choose in an informed manner, it truly shows it's about him, than simply saying "no".

------------------
Hope burns bright!

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peachgal peachgal rating
Charter Member
5087 posts, 34 feedbacks, 56 points		 20-Aug-10, 11:24 AM (PST)
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8. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #4
 
Exactly. This is part of how the fbsm was born. Some folks decided they would rather only have what was authenic even if it was less(less emphasis on multiple positions,multiple fake o's moaning, whatever). Those same peeps continue to be very happy with fbsm, ymmv and all. They are not the same folks complaining on the boards. They are far more numerous and they keep rather quiet about it. Some of them have told me they like it best when a lady exercises some discretion to make her ymmv choices. Others would rather have it all om the 'menu' and will just hope they can find a great actress, or hope they are just lucky she will endure it with a smile. There are a fw gems who can give it all a hindred percent at high volume. That is more likely found in the FS gems but even in a few fbsm+ providers. However many of those have retired.Many fbsm providers I have spokin with do not like being treated like rag dolls and will only respond if the respect is given, not by demand,or by threat.

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CarsonOJennick
Charter Member
60 posts		 20-Aug-10, 09:51 AM (PST)
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5. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #0
 
For me, going down on a woman and giving her an orgasm is hugely rewarding. I like it even if she doesn't cum, as long as she honestly takes some pleasure. Faking an orgasm, or begudgingly letting me eat her, aren't even a close third.

And I am realistic about this. Providers see lots of clients, and I know they have no interest or ability to have an orgasm with most or any of them, so I prefer honesty. Don't tell me it's OK if you're not going to be at least a little into it.

And if it was me asking you, Summer, the best response would probably be to say, "If we had a little more time, I might be into that, but I don't think I can get into it today. Maybe next time..." The best sessions I have are when I feel a provider is comfortable enough with me to be honest.

OK, the best sessions are really when I eat her until she cums and I feel her belly spasm and she just kinda lies there trembling for a minute or two after. Hey, it happens...

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peachgal peachgal rating
Charter Member
5087 posts, 34 feedbacks, 56 points		 20-Aug-10, 11:29 AM (PST)
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10. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #0
 
Summer I would just clearly state in the ad that even though a + service is being offered, it's "all about him" and guys get that.then if you feel inclined otherwise it is just a nice bonus and no pressure. Lots of us women folk are wired that way, heheh! Some of us also do not mate well in captivity but that is anither thread. Good luck with your studies!

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DavyBaby DavyBaby rating
Charter Member
1165 posts, 22 feedbacks, 41 points		 20-Aug-10, 11:43 AM (PST)
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12. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #0
 
   You've addressed the two major questions:

You've mentioned that you are sometimes into it. Sometimes there may be enough time to offer an extension but at other times you only have a half hour.

How bad is it for you to let him lick you for five minutes, knowing that you aren't going to climax? If so, you can offer him a "taste" before you send him off to the shower.

You can say something like, "I wish we had enough time for that," especially to clients that you like, would like to see again, and if you are willing to work that into your session next time.

I ALWAYS appreciate honesty, even if it's not exactly what I want to hear. Knowing that I can't get you off in 5 minutes saves me the disappointment of trying to and then having to stop. Or it allows me to simply enjoy those 5 minutes. DATY is very erotic to me. While I love getting a woman off, I recognize that it's not always going to happen.

I know that there are some clients who pish the time boundaries in an attempt to extract as much time as they can from a session. Dealing with that is always an art.

I'll just say this about reviews - I always take them with a grain of salt, both the numeric reviews and the content. I would encourage you to continue to be a positive, honest contributor to the message boards, and I think that you can overcome an asshole review that marks you down for not giving him extra time.

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elrey4
Member since 21-Apr-08
52 posts		 20-Aug-10, 01:40 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #12
 
  
I think if there is connection why not .... Some of us like to make women happy especially if they have treated us well. I have never asked just because I try to respect boundaries. Would I like to in the words of the great Steve Austin HELL YEAH lol

elrey4

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summerrayne summerrayne rating
Member since 27-Apr-09
3148 posts, 78 feedbacks, 150 points		 20-Aug-10, 02:00 PM (PST)
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19. "RE: DATY Decisions for FBSM+ providers"
In response to message #16
 
thank u to peachgal and everyone whos chimed in. like my reviews reflect our connection your comfort and happiness are very important to me. for intimacy to occur excange of energies through verbal and nonverbal means is necessary. i never had a bad review really and only a couple times where a connection didnt happen but that was only when expectations were not met that were largely uncommunicated. the 'just a taste idea works when there is a moment or two before showeing but doesnt wqork when we r overtime It's always Summer at my place! xoxo

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