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Conferences > Northern California > Art of FBSM > Topic #7910
Reading Topic #7910

HollyCMT click here to view user rating
Member since 17-Mar-04
751 posts, 13 feedbacks, 22 points
08-Sep-08, 12:56 PM (PST)
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"No reference? No problem!"
 
   Note: I am *only* speaking for myself here!

Why is a reference asked for?
Because our time and money are valuable assets, I would love for us to be sure we seek a similar encounter. My ultimate goals are connection and expansion. If you've had a session with another provider, you're probably somewhat in touch with your own wants and needs (if she's really good, you'll know a lot more about yourself than you did before meeting her.). By checking in with a provider you've had a session with that all boundaries were respected, I believe both our goals will have a greater possibility of being met.

Because so many sweet people approach me with their hearts on their sleeve for a session without having experience, I'm trying out a new approach to reach the same goals through different paths.

HERE'S SOME OPTIONS (subject to change):

Schedule a Muse/Coaching session with me. $120/hour. We can connect in person and find the places we match up in our desires, interests and abilities. I am also quite a wealth of information, experience and resources, so if I am not "the one for you" I can often point you in several directions I believe will be fulfilling for you. This is exponentially increased the better I know you. This will be a talking and not a hands-on session.

You could also mail me with at least a short paragraph about what you are seeking, and/or why you are drawn to meeting me. I may ask for more info if I'm not sure we seek similar.

Or you could schedule a Chi Nei Tsang session. $120/hour. I am currently a student of this awesome modality of Chinese internal organ massage. You will be in your loose fitting shorts or pants.

Or another option is for you to keep my contact info handy for when you do have a reference to offer. This quick and painless process involves you offering up the website or online ad of a provider who has reviews posted, and who can vouch for your honorable behaviour in a session within the last year. She may need more details than your name and phone or email, such as something unique you discussed or other way to trigger her memory.

I will be processing prospective new clients twice weekly, Mondays & Thursdays between 10am-2pm on the days that I am in town and working.

Thanks for your interest. Be patient during this process, for once you're in, you're in

I hope to synergize with you sometime soon.
Warm wishes, Holly

--
www.withaheartofgold.com

"When your soul is in charge your life becomes a love story" -Gabrielle Roth


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sexysexy click here to view user rating
Member since 1-Dec-04
1694 posts, 28 feedbacks, 45 points
08-Sep-08, 01:12 PM (PST)
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1. "RE: No reference? No problem!"
In response to message #0
 
   Great post! I could not have said it better myself. With all the full service girls that don't do massage posting in the massage side. U want to make sure that the new guys under standd what u are about.
What u offer and what u will or won't do. So that both parties are happy.
colleen massage therapist

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OtherJP click here to view user rating
Charter Member
1049 posts, 4 feedbacks, 4 points
09-Sep-08, 11:36 PM (PST)
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2. "RE: No reference? No problem!"
In response to message #0
 
I'm in a weird situation with references because I haven't gotten an FBSM in a few years and most of the women I used to see have retired. I was talking with Magdalena for a while about getting around this issue but she retired before I resolved it! Luckily I'm not in a big rush.

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HollyCMT click here to view user rating
Member since 17-Mar-04
751 posts, 13 feedbacks, 22 points
17-Sep-08, 10:17 AM (PST)
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3. "chi nei What??"
In response to message #0
 
   so many inquiries about this modality!

basically it's abdominal massage.

here's a bit more about it:

Chi Nei Tsang is a holistic approach to the healing touch modality of old Taoist Chinese origin. It integrates the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of our being. CNT goes to the very origin of health problems, including psychosomatic responses.

Chi Nei Tsang literally means “working the energy of the internal organs” or “internal organs chi transformation.” CNT uses all the principles of Kung-Fu and Tai-Chi-Chuan known as Chi-Kung; therefore, CNT is a form of “applied Chi Kung.”

CNT practitioners are trained in Chi-Kung and work mainly on the abdomen with deep, soft and gentle touches, to train internal organs to work more efficiently. Unprocessed emotional charges are also addressed in this manner, as well as all of the body systems: digestive, respiratory, cardio-vascular, lymphatic, nervous, endocrine, urinary, reproductive, muscular-skeletal, and the acupuncture meridian system (Chi).


Love, Holly

WWW.WITHAHEARTOFGOLD.COM

"When your soul is in charge your life becomes a love story" -Gabrielle Roth

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HollyCMT click here to view user rating
Member since 17-Mar-04
751 posts, 13 feedbacks, 22 points
13-Oct-08, 11:53 AM (PST)
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4. "Curious about what other Providers offer as alternatives..."
In response to message #0
 
   What other alternatives to the standard reference checks have you encountered?

I really want to find ways to connect with "all-comers", and at the same time, maintain a level of peace of mind about safety, the value of time, and remaining open-hearted.

-Holly

"When your soul is in charge your life becomes a love story" -Gabrielle Roth

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nakedchef
Member since 7-Dec-04
262 posts
13-Oct-08, 12:10 PM (PST)
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5. "RE: Curious about what other Providers offer as alternatives..."
In response to message #4
 
   Temple of Bliss has a good system, in my view.

I would contact them for some guidance in this area.

CHEF

(Who is spending too much time on RB today.)

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MamaDontAllow
Member since 31-May-08
166 posts
13-Oct-08, 01:19 PM (PST)
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6. "RE: Curious about what other Providers offer as alternatives..."
In response to message #4
 
   (1) I like Holly's idea of a muse/coaching session. That may be because I sometimes think about seeking out coaching anyway. Instead of a full hour, though, maybe this should be for a half hour at 60-70% of the provider's hourly rate for coaching, therapeutic-only massage, or whatever she offers.

Clients should definitely be willing to pay for meet-and-greet. We wouldn't have to do so very many times because we would soon have references.

(2) Has anybody had any experience with third-party screening services? Two examples are Preferred411 and Date-Check (add ".com" to get URL's). I haven't tried this approach myself and am not recommending it. I'm just curious and would like to hear about it from both the clients and providers.

The obvious problem from the client's point of view is that there's no guarantee they really shred your information after they verify it. From the provider's point of view, I would guess it would be relatively easy for LE to pass the screening.

--MDA

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traderjohn click here to view user rating
Member since 5-Oct-04
336 posts, 2 feedbacks, 3 points
14-Oct-08, 01:28 AM (PST)
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7. "RE: No reference? No problem!"
In response to message #0
 
   I like to keep the details of who I see and what we do private... which is why I would never provide a "reference". Whenever I see someone new, I usually propose a therapeutic massage session for the first meeting, as a try-out for both of us to meet under more conventional terms. We can progress to other arrangements if there is mutual interest. This also has the advantage of building up the anticipation and sexual energy, so the next session is more exciting:)

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HollyCMT click here to view user rating
Member since 17-Mar-04
751 posts, 13 feedbacks, 22 points
14-Oct-08, 09:30 AM (PST)
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8. "Privacy/references"
In response to message #7
 
   Traderjohn:
>I like to keep the details of who I see and what we do private...


The only things I'm concerned about regarding a reference are:
Were all boundaries respected?
& all agreements honored?

Regards,
Holly

www.withaheartofgold.com

"When your soul is in charge your life becomes a love story" -Gabrielle Roth

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traderjohn click here to view user rating
Member since 5-Oct-04
336 posts, 2 feedbacks, 3 points
14-Oct-08, 07:36 PM (PST)
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9. "RE: Privacy/references"
In response to message #8
 
   I understand that is your concern. Can you understand my concern about privacy? Once I tell someone that I have had a session with someone else, I lose control over who might say what to whom.

If a provider asks me not to write a review revealing details of our session, I respect her wishes. Some of us prefer to keep a low profile in these activities.

Of course, it is your right not to see anyone without a reference, but I think you can accomplish the same goal through other means, as previously suggested.


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HollyCMT click here to view user rating
Member since 17-Mar-04
751 posts, 13 feedbacks, 22 points
16-Oct-08, 10:13 AM (PST)
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10. "$0.02, keep the change"
In response to message #9
 
   Traderjohn:
>Once I tell someone that I have had a session with someone else, I lose control over who might say what to whom.

My response is to choose wisely who you spend time with. If you don't trust a Provider's character/intention, maybe rethink opening yourself up to her.

Trust your instincts.

Love, Holly


"When your soul is in charge your life becomes a love story" -Gabrielle Roth

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longnor
Member since 24-Oct-05
5 posts, Rate this user
17-Oct-08, 07:07 PM (PST)
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11. "RE: $0.02, keep the change"
In response to message #10
 
   What does choosing a massage therapist wisely have to do with telling others about that encounter? I understand FBSM providers' need to protect themselves, but I will never tell anyone who I may or may not have seen and paid for obvious legal/privacy reasons. You never know when what you say will be repeated back to you at a time when you really don't want it to be. Perhaps I'm paranoid, but that's also my right and I have a lot to lose.

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anonjon
Member since 27-Jun-07
10 posts, Rate this user
17-Oct-08, 08:20 PM (PST)
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12. "RE%25253A %2525240.02%25252C keep the change"
In response to message #11
 
   LAST EDITED ON 17-Oct-08 AT 08:22 PM (PST)
 
never mind

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