I politely asked one Lady about her experience level, where she may have worked before, how long she's been active, about references, reviews etc and got a nasty reply condemning me for having the audacity to ask her about her experience.

Is it rude to ask these newbies (they may not be newbies but that is what I am trying to figure out) about their experience? Is there a better way? I could just make an appointment and see how it goes but getting tied up and beaten on by someone that I have no info on doesn't seem like a smart plan to me. Any feedback is appreciated.

I assume that you were respectful and that you chose your words carefully. Anyone experienced would understand and respond accordingly.

Why don't you share a sample of the questions you posed?

My guess? She isn't very experienced and thinks you will be awed by the domme-liness she exhibited when you asked.

Eek.

Miss Grey

I'd say she told you all you needed to know in order to make a decision as to whether or not to see her.

Next! There are too many fishes in the Bay Area prodomme sea to get hung up on seeing one particular newbie with an attitude.

If a domme appears to be new, and has just started advertising, with no reviews, no track record, no references or known association for training/apprenticing with an established and well-regarded prodomme, then it's not only justifiable to ask about her experience, but essential. You did the right thing, and her response gave you all the information you needed to make an intelligent decision.

With regard to not getting feedback on 411 posts on this forum, I'd guess there are two possibilities:
1) She's new, and no one who posts here has seen her.
2) Not many of the men who post on this forum have actually done r/t sessions with a broad range of Bay Area prodommes.

P.S. One good sign that a newish prodomme is competent is if she's renting at one of the spaces that are owned/operated by established, reputable prodommes, such as the Looking Glass and Valhalla in Oakland. Those ladies are not going to rent to just anyone who walks in off the street and calls herself a prodomme. Consequently, another question you could pose in screening a newish domme you're considering seeing is where she conducts her sessions.

There is a local mistress where I live who is quite well known and involved in the community and has her own space, and I'm sure is very well regarded. However, when I mentioned that her session fee was too high for me (I did not ask her to bargain down) and asked for a reference for another local mistress in my price range, she responded that she was the best on offer in the area and no one would match her experience and could not recommend anyone else. Perhaps this was true and she was being direct with her thoughts, however, the way that it was communicated completely turned me off.

For me, the initial pre-session communications must be businesslike and succint, and anything short of this is a signal to move on.

A Domme who isn't well known but is skilled and experienced should be happy you asked. She'd probably rather you ask politely than skip over her altogether. I know I probably get skipped over a lot because I don't have reviews (well, I have two fictional ones that I've heard don't say anything about BDSM). I am grateful for clients who take a leap of faith, and absolutely understand clients who want to make sure they're not leaping off a cliff. Now if I could just get one of them to write a review!

Lilith

"...and you know that she's half crazy..."

And you may also inquire about references, cities where they've worked, and amount of training. Evasiveness would be a red flag, and bear in mind that a reputable pro-Domne wishes to establish a long term, professional relationship with Her clients.

Rabidwoofer

It's not so much an issue now, because I'm still looking at some of the same dommes I was looking at 10 years ago. I know they have experience. Or, they're at houses I've grown to trust. Or they got referred to me (thanks Beaumont).

There's just no good reason to put up with pre session nastiness. Or anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Mistress Tatiana Belodyne
of FantasyMakers

Being a proffessional domme means working within limitations and providing a scene based on what the clients wants and needs are. Far too many people wrongly think this business is all what the woman wants. If you want that set up you should get a personal slave and even then you should be working within agreed upon boundaries.

The Goddess Athena
www.sfsirens.com
415-221-8751

Good things happen to those who hustle- Anais Nin