A line has been crossed. Other women have "dominated" me, others have stepped on me in heels, or sat upon me and perhaps pinched or bit a nipple, some even sat on my face, covering my mouth and nose with their bottoms, and counted out loud, laughing to see how long I could go without breathing, but they have been play-acting, they have been doing something they read or saw somewhere, they have been playing, they have been fooling around. None has been the Goddess you are. None has taken me, none has owned me, no woman has pierced me so. When you stood straight up, your heels with your full weight digging into my palms, the soles of your shoes pressing on my fingers, a line was crossed. Such pain I have never felt before. A line has been crossed. I am in the deepest physical agony ever, my hands are on fire, it is unbearably painful, you actually now truly torture me... This you know, this you understand, this you, ... this you enjoy. You smile, I stare, I do not know what to do. I cannot move, I am paralyzed. I am in awe. I am losing sanity.
Minutes before, despite the heat, despite the pain of your heels on my chest, the taste of the leather as you forced your heel into my mouth, despite the glory of your weight on my chest as you sat, teasing me with your beauty, with your body so close to my mouth, despite all of that I was capable of moments of lucidity, I was able to recognize that, while we were playing with fire, we were playing. I understood we were indulging each other's fantasies, I came in and out of euphoria and felt good and satisfied and aroused and oh so happy that we finally were together and finally pleasuring each other and finally enjoying each other's craziness.
But this, this searing, unbearable, completely new insane level of pain, with you standing with your heels digging straight down through my palms, with your full weight concentrated on my hands, this is I now realize, this is something new. This is a complete loss of control. I am now in new territory. I cannot even ask you to move, I do not not even know, I cannot even decide, if I want you to move, I am transfixed, I am immobile, I am unable to even think. I feel, but there is no thought.
My eyes tear from the agony, but I can see clearly enough to see that you are looking down and you are smiling. You are smiling, and you know, you simply must know, that you have gone further than we planned, further than we discussed, further than I dreamed.
You are smiling at my suffering. You no longer are playing. You also have crossed a line, I believe you now are someone else, you are somewhere else. You no longer are playing. You are serious about causing me to experience something new.
You feel the power, the raw strength, the total dominant control you now have attained. You know how I am suffering, you know the intense hot pain you can cause by the merest shift in your balance, the slightest lean side to side, back to front, it is torture now, it causes my eyes to react, you know fully how much you are hurting me and yet, you do it, you do shift your weight, you see the fear, the ecstasy, the madness in my eyes, and you smile. You too are exploring new territory, for you never before have been completely, wholly, unquestionably in control.
We both know a line has been crossed. I am unable to step back, and you do not wish to. I cannot speak, I cannot even moan at this point. I actually feel I may lose consciousness. I am in awe of you. I worship you, you are my Goddess.
You sit down on my chest, never removing your heels from their slots, their holes in my hands. You simply sit down and, while the pain lessens a bit because your full weight no longer is on your heels, the pain does not leave. I am in awe, I am somewhere else, I am not here and yet I have never been so present.
There is no escape and I seek no escape. I never have been so without free will, so helpless, so close to floating away, to leaving my body, and I do not want it to end. I am anchored here by your heels, by the pain. I have never been so much in pain, and I am loving it because it is the most burning, most exquisite, most real most intense physical feeling I ever have experienced. I have never been so completely lost, and nobody ever before has found me like this.
Your body shimmers before me, your thong, on which I attempt to fix, to focus, is so close I believe I see heat waves between my face and your crotch,. I am becoming delirious. I have no ability to speak, to murmur, even to open my mouth if you moved close enough to touch with my tongue I would be incapable. I am losing myself and I am dissolving into you.
There is nothing else for me, nothing I can focus on, all there is, is you. I know only that you are my Goddess and that my hands are on fire and that my chest is under one of the most beautiful instruments of torture, of bliss, ever created, your ass. I am in and out. My eyes are lsoing the ability to focus, I am not sure if it is becuase of the tears from the pain or the fact that my mind has become unhinged. But feel you lift off of my chest, and my chest weeps for its loss, but my hands signal new pain, new torture, new blinding agony as you stand again upon them. But wait, something is happening.
You are leaning down at me, you are lifting my head and sliding something under it, you have something in your hands, something long and sinister. I do not know what it is, I do not know what is happening. You are smiling, I can see that. Now you are laughing and you are saying something but I cannot make out the words.
Something is around my neck and your hands are doing something. I feel pressure, an odd pressure, it is my neck, something is encircling my neck and it,..and it, ... it is getting tighter. Oh my God, you have tied something around my neck and you are tightening it as you lean back again on my palms.
This is new. This is unrecognizable. It is getting foggy, darker, quieter. I cannot move my hands, of course I cannot, they are pinned, nailed to the floor, they are burning and cannot be moved. I hear you laugh, but it seems far away.
My sense of smell seems intact, I smell your sweat, your leather, I smell blood, mine? yours? does it matter anymore? I smell you, musky and sweet and powerful, I smell everything. I smell what is left of your perfume after you sweated most of it off. I do not know why I can smell, I do not think I can breathe, yet I can smell, all else is fading, is it smell or is it memories of smells?
I am in bliss, I am in your hands, I am yours.
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, 16-Sep-10, 10:22 AM, (4)
