Wow, way to stir up a shit storm, ron.What I want to know is, how did we get from "no kissing, everything covered" to "no touching, no contact, no physical intimacy"? That's the question in my mind. There is a vast territory of sensory fun and play inbetween those two places. Don't you see it? Unbroken skin (not mucous membrane) is a grand barrier to disease and feels great and can carry a lot of erotic charge between two people who are warming things up. And as po so eloquently pointed out, there are lots of hot things to do besides kissing and ordinary fucking. You just might want to expand your vocabulary about sex.
There's another thing you might want to consider, other than the physical health aspect. If you hobby on a budget, you are seeing how many providers in a year, ten? twelve? maybe more, maybe less, but think about it. We providers see at least ten times that many men, maybe twenty times that many. Do you think we want that many faces mashed up on our lips? Well I don't know, maybe some do, but I don't. I keep certain boundaries for my mental health as well as my physical, YMMV also, and I have a right to run my business the way I see fit.
If you are seeing a woman who has no boundaries, you are seeing a woman who has no mental health. I'm not saying she is going to go crazy, I'm saying she is crazy already. Boundaries are lots of things. They are not just, "no kissing" or "condoms for everything." Boundaries are identity. They are where you stop and the other person begins. They are who you are, your memories, your truth, your authenticity. They are the way you show up in the world. They are your respect for yourself and for the other. Within a woman's boundaries, she is experiencing her own deep real pleasure in her body. Violate her boundaries, and she is shut down and faking it. Is that what you want? I don't know, maybe it is. But if you have ever seen a woman sort of Go Dead during a session, and I bet you have, you have seen a woman who has lost her boundaries and neglected to tell you about it.
We are all in charge of our own boundaries. The responsibility belongs on each. Let's assume no one wants to violate anyone. Then it is up to each of us to check in with ourselves, and constantly to ask our own selves, what do I want right now? Where and how do I want to be touched? How can I show up, really being here, fully present, feeling you. And, I'd like this from you, are you willing? And give it a voice, say so, speak up about it.
A person honors you if they will tell you the truth about what they want and don't want. Without that, you have no connection whatsoever, no intimacy, no contact, no presence, just two robots violating each other without consciousness. And then does an uncovered penis make it any better for you? Maybe, you decide. Your answer will tell you a lot about yourself.
There is constant pressure around here for the women to give up more and more of their bodies for less and less money. That means for her more and more traffic, inevitably. I see and I think I understand the market dynamics, and in this economy some of the women are giving in. Just ask yourself what you want out of this, that's all I'm saying. Just ask.
Gretchen
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