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Reading Topic #42785

shortbus
Member since 27-Jul-08
83 posts, Rate this user		 07-Sep-09, 01:13 PM (PST)
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"Ethics"
 
I have had problems with providers lately on other sites not being same person in picture. So what I have been doing is asking them out for coffee or lunch at a location that they are familiar with, asking what will they be wearing or driving. Sit in the parking lot and wait. If I like what I see I meet with them, if not I split!

I do feel bad in anyway since they are not being honest in their description, or pictures that they post. Anyone else ever try this or something like it? Give me some more ideas.

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  • RE: Ethics, IamGod, 07-Sep-09, 02:58 PM, (2)
    • RE: Ethics, some_guy1, 07-Sep-09, 05:07 PM, (4)
  • RE: Ethics, HighStepper, 07-Sep-09, 03:58 PM, (3)
  • RE: Ethics, LanceP, 07-Sep-09, 05:09 PM, (5)
    • RE: Ethics, dented12001, 07-Sep-09, 08:52 PM, (6)
  • RE: Ethics, shortbus, 08-Sep-09, 00:13 AM, (7)
    • RE: Ethics, Mrdiscrete, 08-Sep-09, 10:08 AM, (8)
      • RE: Ethics, dented12001, 08-Sep-09, 07:41 PM, (9)
      • RE: Ethics, free_swingin, 09-Sep-09, 00:26 AM, (11)
  • RE: Ethics, JimiChanga, 08-Sep-09, 09:50 PM, (10)
    • RE: Ethics, HighStepper, 09-Sep-09, 08:29 PM, (14)
  • RE: Ethics, rforre1, 09-Sep-09, 06:00 PM, (12)
  • RE: Ethics, rforre1, 09-Sep-09, 07:28 PM, (13)
    • RE: Ethics, NealDown, 15-Sep-09, 07:25 PM, (18)
  • Only once, achingneed, 10-Sep-09, 01:22 AM, (15)
  • RE: Ethics, photographer, 14-Sep-09, 06:18 PM, (16)
  • RE: Ethics, Mossey, 15-Sep-09, 10:53 AM, (17)
  • RE: Ethics, norcalguy4u, 16-Sep-09, 07:46 PM, (19)
    • RE: Ethics, NealDown, 17-Sep-09, 07:15 PM, (20)
      • RE: Ethics, strokersteve, 21-Sep-09, 11:07 PM, (21)
 
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IamGod click here to view user rating
Charter Member
3232 posts, 31 feedbacks, 58 points		 07-Sep-09, 02:58 PM (PST)
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2. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
   "If I like what I see I meet with them, if not I split!"
That makes you a flake, you should at least meet them and have the courtesy to say no thanks.


"Alea iacta est!"

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some_guy1 click here to view user rating
Member since 31-Dec-07
262 posts, 1 feedbacks, 2 points		 07-Sep-09, 05:07 PM (PST)
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4. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #2
 
   At a minimum, call them and let them know why you won't be coming in so they can get on with their day rather than waiting for someone who isn't going to show up. I don't support fake pics, but tying up their schedule so no one else can meet them hurts fellow mongers.

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HighStepper click here to view user rating
Member since 26-Aug-06
5377 posts, 111 feedbacks, 207 points		 07-Sep-09, 03:58 PM (PST)
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3. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
I guess you don’t believe in the old adage that two wrongs don’t make a right. Your approach makes you look like an insensitive, selfish, SOB.

Like IamGod said, “That makes you a flake, you should at least meet them and have the courtesy to say no thanks.”

Ever hear of Karma?

...........................................
Too much sex is still not enough

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LanceP
Charter Member
4301 posts		 07-Sep-09, 05:09 PM (PST)
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5. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 07-Sep-09 AT 05:14 PM (PST)
 
IMO, you should meet her face to face accordingly, even if they do not appear to be the same 'person' on her ad photo.

Really, meet her and just state your opinion. After all, she made the effort , and YOU should too.

IMO, your method of observing in the distance and discharging if all is not kosher, is just simply rude.

Meet , greet, be honest, pay for her coffee and such, AND simply move on.

You both learn. Say Bye.

Good luck,
Lance


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dented12001
Member since 6-May-03
658 posts		 07-Sep-09, 08:52 PM (PST)
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6. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #5
 
   Shortbus your idea isn't a bad one. However, by following your method, which I myself has used you run the risk of missing out on some good shyt. What I'm saying is without the face to face, the observation at a distance thing may lead you make a mistake. Maybe what you saw at a distance isn't representative. Maybe the person you saw was her girl an not her. Maybe she's someone who is so much finer in person that you'd see with her cloths on.

There are some variable that are best observed face to face. If you suspect she's posted fake or doctored pics after meeting in person just leave. The number of whores using pimps who try the strong arm thing isn't as prevalent because of the economy. Most crooks/pimps know that the average hobbyist is gonna shoot first, pick up their brass and just keep moving these days if confronted by someone intent on trying to hurt us.

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shortbus
Member since 27-Jul-08
83 posts, Rate this user		 08-Sep-09, 00:13 AM (PST)
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7. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
Thanks guys for the input I just might change my tactic a bit. I guess meeting them would be the way to go, and just say no thanks.

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Mrdiscrete click here to view user rating
Member since 20-Jan-07
113 posts, 1 feedbacks, 2 points		 08-Sep-09, 10:08 AM (PST)
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8. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #7
 
That's the ticket Shortbus. ... If more of us would simply "Turn down" the fakes and the Robs, and TELL em WHY we did it ... a lot of these so-called providers would be forced to (clean it up).

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dented12001
Member since 6-May-03
658 posts		 08-Sep-09, 07:41 PM (PST)
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9. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #8
 
   >That's the ticket Shortbus. ... If more of us would
>simply "Turn down" the fakes and the Robs, and TELL em WHY
>we did it ... a lot of these so-called providers would be
>forced to (clean it up).

I wish it worked that way. Too friggin many of us don't say no or don't report back fake pics or distorted pictures. If we all posted candid reviews, posted thread in Neighborhood Watch whenever a provider is found to have photoshopped her pictures then our community would be better. Unfortunately too many guys see nothing wrong with getting scammed and not being forthright about the experience.

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free_swingin click here to view user rating
Member since 20-Jan-03
295 posts, 3 feedbacks, 6 points		 09-Sep-09, 00:26 AM (PST)
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11. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #8
 
   I gotta agree. I've never had the misfortune of scheduling with someone who used fake pics (a testament to using a membership and sticking mainly with well reviewed providers). But I would turn and leave if I didn't meet the provider I booked.

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JimiChanga click here to view user rating
Member since 27-Jan-05
1772 posts, 15 feedbacks, 20 points		 08-Sep-09, 09:50 PM (PST)
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10. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
   I can't believe you can actually get a girl off or RB to meet you for coffee without you having not met her a few times before. This thread is completly bogus IMHO.

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HighStepper click here to view user rating
Member since 26-Aug-06
5377 posts, 111 feedbacks, 207 points		 09-Sep-09, 08:29 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #10
 
JimiChanga you may have a good point.

Providers have been known to arrange a meeting to screen a hobbyist without references and some new providers without reviews have been known to meet for coffee to see if things click for a small fee which is applied to the donation if the session goes forward.

But as you say, “can't believe you can actually get a girl off of RB to meet you for coffee ……” Well established providers with a good review history are not going to waste time this way.

Time wasting flakes who do the kind of shit that shortbus describes give the hobby a bad name and causes providers to get harden and do things like double booking which than results in them flaking on somebody.


...........................................
Too much sex is still not enough

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rforre1
Member since 5-Oct-07
66 posts, Rate this user		 09-Sep-09, 06:00 PM (PST)
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12. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
   Girls who use completely fake pics are scammers and deserve no respect

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rforre1
Member since 5-Oct-07
66 posts, Rate this user		 09-Sep-09, 07:28 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
   If a girl is using completely fake pics then she is a scam and deserves no courtesy or respect. If the reality doesn't match the aibrushed glam photo, but it's the same girl, that is to be expected, and I think she should be treated fairly.

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NealDown click here to view user rating
Member since 25-Apr-06
5364 posts, 41 feedbacks, 77 points		 15-Sep-09, 07:25 PM (PST)
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18. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #13
 
All of this drama can be avoided by doing your due diligence and only seeing providers who are well reviewed and have good Looks scores. If you decide to TOFTT then you should acknowledge that you're probably wasting your own time.
Let's face it, most real pics in ads are somewhat deceptive. They could be from 5 years ago or 20 less pounds. Stick with reviewed providers and you won't have to worry about unpleasant surprises.

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achingneed click here to view user rating
Member since 19-Jul-08
205 posts, 4 feedbacks, 6 points		 10-Sep-09, 01:22 AM (PST)
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15. "Only once"
In response to message #0
 
   Only once in my entire now 20-year "hobbying career" (20 years? god that is pathetic... but 100% true... damn), have I ever had a new provider meet me for coffee before a session.... and it was at her request.

It was a little over 10 years ago, she was a brand-new provider, what would nowadays be called a "non-pro". She was a MILF who was recently divorced with two older (maybe 10 and 13 at the time, IIRC) kids, very conservative corporate banking type job (accountant? that type), and she was doing this for extra money. She had a full-time corporate job.

We met at the Flower Mart diner for coffee on a Saturday morning. She started fondling my hands, for some reason, and telling me how she had just been watching doggie-style porn and fantasizing about it. I got a check and we went to the hot-tubs. She could suck cock underwater, which was amazing. Tremendous breath control, stayed under for a long time. Then wanted it from behind, brought her own bullet vibe with her, and would not remove it from her clit the whole time.

Good times.

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photographer
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579 posts, Rate this user		 14-Sep-09, 06:18 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
I just have them come to my door. If they aren't the girl in the picture or they are significantly different in terms on age or weight (that has only happened once) I tell them to leave and why: because they are not the girl I saw in the picture. I don't give them anything for their time.

I want them (and their dumb ass pimps) to get that it is a money losing proposition to post fake photos.

photographer

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Mossey click here to view user rating
Charter Member
250 posts, 1 feedbacks, 2 points		 15-Sep-09, 10:53 AM (PST)
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17. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
   I don't blame you for being upset when the provider you make arrangements is a different person that her picture and/or description would indicate.

I have taken to turning around and walking away when that happens on incalls. As for outcalls, I now meet the provider in the hotel lobby before we progress any further. If they are a different person or something doesn't feel right I have opted to pass on the arrangment.

I think you should be courteous and not just stand a provider up. That has happended to me more that once and I have alwasys hated the stand up.

Also, I have tried to think with the bigger head when I do meet a provider for the first time. Sometimes that is hard to do.

Mossey

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norcalguy4u click here to view user rating
Member since 27-Aug-05
2465 posts, 52 feedbacks, 97 points		 16-Sep-09, 07:46 PM (PST)
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19. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #0
 
You might take a look at pinkbook to see what the ladies think of your idea.

http://www.mypinkbook.com/dcforum2/gtalk/5646.html


Dr. DATY ®
The doctor is IN!!

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NealDown click here to view user rating
Member since 25-Apr-06
5364 posts, 41 feedbacks, 77 points		 17-Sep-09, 07:15 PM (PST)
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20. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #19
 
>You might take a look at pinkbook to see what the ladies
>think of your idea.
>
>http://www.mypinkbook.com/dcforum2/gtalk/5646.html
>
Ouch!

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strokersteve click here to view user rating
Member since 20-Aug-09
385 posts, 12 feedbacks, 23 points		 21-Sep-09, 11:07 PM (PST)
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21. "RE: Ethics"
In response to message #20
 
"I have had problems with providers lately on other sites not being same person in picture. So what I have been doing is asking them out for coffee or lunch at a location that they are familiar with, asking what will they be wearing or driving. Sit in the parking lot and wait. If I like what I see I meet with them, if not I split!"

You've actually done this?
Lucky guy you are shortbus...
Screening must not be at it's at best.
I'd simply tell the girl I'm not interested and let her know I know she's not the same girl in her photos.
Don't just not show and stop answering your phone bro.
Get back home and expose this fake/rob, instead of you exposed as the flake/rob.


Plenty Fish In The Sea

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