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POLL: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references or do some screening a huge turn off?
Posted by The7thStorehouse on 21-Nov-09, 11:44 AM PST
POLL ENDED: Result after a total of 82 votes

Totally agree...my personal info is none of her business...it's a dealbreaker for me 49 votes, 59%
Mostly agree...my worry for confidentiality breach or retaliation outweighs my desire to see her 9 votes, 10%
Somewhat agree...I will probably see her, but I admit I fear future breach 5 votes, 6%
Neutral...I've got nothing to hide or fear...I don't care 16 votes, 19%
Somewhat disagree...she says she's doing it for her protection, whatever that means 1 votes, 1%
Mostly disagree...if I want to see her, she has a right to my personal info 1 votes, 1%
Totally disagree...screen/pry/retaliate all you want...I'm seeing her at any cost/risk 1 votes, 1%

 
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meiji click here to view user rating
Member since 5-Dec-07
257 posts, 4 feedbacks, 5 points		 21-Nov-09, 03:51 PM (PST)
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1. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
  
In many cases, references/screening doesn't mean more than providing who you've seen, which I really don't see as giving them personal information, more than say my first name and phone number/email, which they get anyway.

There's no real choice in the poll for 'I'm willing to provide some information as long as it's not too intrusive'

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Pitt click here to view user rating
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1892 posts, 99 feedbacks, 173 points		 22-Nov-09, 08:23 PM (PST)
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12. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #1
 
I don't know The7thStorehouse, you're an illiterate asswipe and I haven't a clue what you are asking in your poll. You can't leave creepyville and you can't provide a reference? I've never had a problem with a reference.


The Mighty Magical Wizard of Pussy

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Arm_Chair
Member since 21-Nov-09
1 posts, Rate this user		 21-Nov-09, 04:01 PM (PST)
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2. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
   New guy here. I say let them do what they need to do.

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JustAnHJ
Member since 20-Oct-08
14 posts		 21-Nov-09, 07:51 PM (PST)
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3. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #2
 
   Once you hear a few good blackmail stories you'll change your mind. Anyone got a good story for the new guy?

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meiji click here to view user rating
Member since 5-Dec-07
257 posts, 4 feedbacks, 5 points		 23-Nov-09, 06:26 PM (PST)
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15. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #3
 
  
It's never happened to me because I'm careful, but I've certainly heard many second-hand stories of guys that have spurned or otherwise angry providers use the guy's information against him to expose him to his family or employer, etc. That can also go the other way, too. The hobby works best when the girls get enough information (via references or a 3rd party trusted source) to be comfortable, but very little personal information is exposed by other party.

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callecochrane
Member since 10-May-08
574 posts		 21-Nov-09, 09:54 PM (PST)
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4. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
   What personal information are you talking about? I give them a fake name, my hobby phone #, a hobby email address, a fake city, a fake job, and a fake age. I know they do the same. Since the whole hobby is based on lies, the only reality is reliable reviews, references, and sessions. Not to mention that a great reference already sets the stage for a wonderfully comfortable first session.

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OrallyFixated_650 click here to view user rating
Member since 27-Dec-06
1563 posts, 35 feedbacks, 68 points		 21-Nov-09, 11:17 PM (PST)
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5. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
Guess I see the reference issue on two different levels.

On one hand, to give a provider a couple of reputable provider references (those that are amenable to that), is totally cool with me. I want people to feel as comfortable as possible, comfortable enough to let their proverbial hair down later.

On the other hand, the whole idea of giving anything personal, like job info and work numbers, is totally fucked.

Discretion is paramount, and everybody has a right to feel safe. If a middle ground can't be achieved when making contact, move on.

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HighStepper click here to view user rating
Member since 26-Aug-06
6078 posts, 131 feedbacks, 241 points		 22-Nov-09, 02:18 AM (PST)
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6. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
IMHO, the poll doesn’t reflect what typically occurs with RB providers, thus I did not vote. If one is seeking a high end provider that gets $5,000 a session, one might expect to give up personal info during the screening process. But here you give an anonymous handle or name, hobby phone number, and the anonymous name of a provider with her contact information. Not a big deal unless you are just starting out and don’t have a provider’s name to give. There are numerous threads on how to get references and how the reference system works…….research past threads on the subject.


....................................................
Too much sex is still not enough

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Tomcat69moderator click here to view user rating
Member since 27-Sep-04
5857 posts, 108 feedbacks, 215 points		 25-Nov-09, 00:23 AM (PST)
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20. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #6
 
Precisely. There is a huge difference between giving personal info, which I am opposed to, and giving references of other providers I have seen. None of the poll choices really reflect that.


~Everything in moderation
including moderation

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NealDown click here to view user rating
Member since 25-Apr-06
5692 posts, 49 feedbacks, 91 points		 22-Nov-09, 12:35 PM (PST)
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7. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
I couldn't find a category to place a vote under in this poll. I will not give up any personal information but will give provider references when needed.

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OtherJP click here to view user rating
Charter Member
1314 posts, 10 feedbacks, 13 points		 22-Nov-09, 01:41 PM (PST)
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8. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
I prefer those who do screening. If you don't, great, more for me.

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cons_man click here to view user rating
Member since 13-Mar-06
1391 posts, 23 feedbacks, 43 points		 22-Nov-09, 03:47 PM (PST)
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9. "One more whiner. Want some cheeze with your whine?"
In response to message #0
 
   Usually whiners are also cheapies.

Jackasses & pedophiles. WHY? WHY? WHY?

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culoassman click here to view user rating
Member since 26-Oct-02
3989 posts, 28 feedbacks, 47 points		 22-Nov-09, 04:09 PM (PST)
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10. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
   Doesn't bother me if a new to me escort asks for references. I understand their safety's paramount. If the reference check becomes intrusive, (work, home number etc.,) then it's thanks, but no thanks.

c-man

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crazyfingers click here to view user rating
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2041 posts, 8 feedbacks, 16 points		 22-Nov-09, 04:13 PM (PST)
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11. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
a reference from another provider is OK, though a real pain in the ass. my name and phone (as listed on the unblocked phone I use) also OK

my handle on RB? rather not

any other info? never

my office number at work? wtf? no way

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sportsman20 click here to view user rating
Member since 22-May-04
737 posts, 14 feedbacks, 27 points		 23-Nov-09, 05:30 AM (PST)
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13. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
My friend doesnt use references for these reasons:

1. He has a regular and gets extra benefits from her for being a regular. If someone calls her for a reference, say good bye to the extras.

2. He has alot of trouble getting hold of one provider, much less two or three required for the reference system to work.

3. He does not give out any "real" info. Hobby phone and RB handle only, and whatever other fake info he has out there. That's it.

4. It doesn't work. Its like asking for a reference on a job resume. Who is going to provide a reference from someone who hates them and thinks they are an idiot? Not likely. Same here. Rarely do you hear of a bad reference so what is the point? Also how do you know the provider is not being paid extra to give good references regardless of the truth? Just like reviews, you can't trust them.

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hunglikeasmurf
Member since 17-Aug-09
41 posts, Rate this user		 23-Nov-09, 06:01 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
Most ridiculous intrusive "to see me" process I've ever come across...

1. You have to give her your ID with name and address on it.
2. Your HOME phone # and the address in the phone book must match your ID.
3. Your place of employments phone #.

I can just imagine...

Her: Yes, is this so and so company?
Your company: Yes it is.
Her: Is so and so working right now?
Your company: Yes he is but he's unavailable.
Her: Well I can call back later. What time is he working til?
Your company: He's scheduled til 6pm today.
Her: Thank you. (hangs up phone)

Turns to her "manager".

Her: We got plenty of time. We got til 6pm to go to this guys house and clean out his place.

Are there guys stupid enough to really give out this info?

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The7thStorehouse click here to view user rating
Member since 9-Jan-04
560 posts, 8 feedbacks, 16 points		 23-Nov-09, 07:12 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 23-Nov-09 AT 07:16 PM (PST)
 
Guys, let's not get into arguments regarding this poll or what your expectations or preferences are with respect to each of your personal takes regarding women who require references. Clearly, the poll shows that most guys don't like giving out too much information simply because they are fearful of having "too much out there". But to be fair, the ladies are equally paranoid for very different reasons and many of them have been kind enough to educate you on their reasons for requiring references. I direct you to Soap box where you can read their explanations and thoughts -- here is the link...

http://forum.myredbook.com/dcforum2/soapz/6657.html

Please read only and do not post there...this will allow more ladies the opportunity to add their views.

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HighStepper click here to view user rating
Member since 26-Aug-06
6078 posts, 131 feedbacks, 241 points		 23-Nov-09, 08:58 PM (PST)
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17. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #16
 
>Guys, let's not get into arguments regarding this poll...

Is this an acknowledgment that the poll could have been better constructed?

> Clearly, the poll shows that most guys don't
>like giving out too much information simply because they are
>fearful of having "too much out there".

NO the poll doesn’t show that, it’s the narrative posts to the poll that show that guys don’t want to give out too much information. The poll shows that the majority don’t want to give out personal information. Two different things.


............................................
Too much sex is still not enough

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NiceMikey click here to view user rating
Member since 10-Oct-03
15232 posts, 153 feedbacks, 271 points		 23-Nov-09, 09:10 PM (PST)
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18. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #17
 
Right on Highstepper, this is a lame poll which clearly didn't define what is meant by "references" but implies that you are giving out personal information so it is useless. Most references just requires a lady you have seen so she can check that you are not LE,
respect boundaries and pay as requested. No other info needed and not enough there to blackmail you. Anyone who wants a real name, home address, home or work phone number is asking for too much (unless they are willing to provide you with the same info).

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Shellback97 click here to view user rating
Member since 27-May-05
2726 posts, 84 feedbacks, 153 points		 25-Nov-09, 00:15 AM (PST)
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19. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #17
 
LAST EDITED ON 25-Nov-09 AT 00:19 AM (PST)
 
Well saw this and wanted to chime in with exactly what Highstepper and NiceMikey said. There is a huge difference between a girl wanting references and a girl wanting personal information. Jamming them together into one concept completely destroys any merit this poll could have.

A provider wants personal information, like she wants my real name or wants to verify my employment or something. That's a deal breaker. Of course the kind of girls that ask this sort of thing, from what I've seen also want something like 600 and hour, so that's a deal breaker anyway.

As for references. Well if a girl wants refs, that tells me a couple things about her, she may very well not be pimped and if she is, at least her piimp isn't an asshole. It also suggests she is not jammed up with LE is some way. Both a big pluses in my book. Yes it sucks if you don't have any refs and it takes some digging and some hit and miss sessioning to get some refs, but everyone was a newb once and we got through it. Of course if your refs tell the girl you want to see that your and asshole, well that's on you.

As for RB handle. Never a problem. I prefer setting up first dates via inbox anyway for mutual safety.

As for this comment

"Somewhat disagree...she says she's doing it for her protection, whatever that means"

I find it rather offensive since girls I know personally actually were attacked and raped by potential clients in the past year...that's what it means!

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Tomcat69moderator click here to view user rating
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5857 posts, 108 feedbacks, 215 points		 25-Nov-09, 00:32 AM (PST)
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21. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #19
 
LAST EDITED ON 25-Nov-09 AT 00:33 AM (PST)
 
"Somewhat disagree...she says she's doing it for her protection, whatever that means"

I find it rather offensive since girls I know personally actually were attacked and raped by potential clients in the past year...that's what it means!

Couldn't agree more, Shell. There are all kinds of risks to providers: being attacked and sexually assaulted, being robbed, LE arresting you, the guy being a deadbeat or just being a plain jerk. Come on, that should be obvious to all but the most naive hobbyists out there.


~Everything in moderation
including moderation

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dArtagnon click here to view user rating
Member since 22-Nov-09
225 posts, 8 feedbacks, 16 points		 30-Nov-09, 00:19 AM (PST)
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22. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
I find this whole "requiring references" crap to be so damn lame and the biggest waste of my time. It's also very important to be discreet in this hobby, and the reference checks blow that out of the water.

I've had providers who were called about a reference get mad at me because I wasn't seeing them instead. They would ask me what she had that they don't, and be pissed.

As a result, I don't waste my time with providers who require references.

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Jimany click here to view user rating
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634 posts, 4 feedbacks, 8 points		 30-Nov-09, 00:47 AM (PST)
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23. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
I guess I just don't find it that big a deal.

Just letting a provider know, "hey, this other provider can vouch for me -- I'm not a cop or whatever", doesn't seem like it should be that big a deal to either PL's or providers.

But PL's think it's like the biggest invasion of privacy and inconvenience since the Patriot Act. Now, I can see how sharing your work and personal info is a bit intrusive, but, "can I call another provider who's seen you?" shouldn't be that big a deal to a regular in this biz.

And providers are a catty bunch, who won't vouch to their sister because they fear losing their own business during these crappy economic doldrums. I've had providers straight up lie to me:

"Thanks for the reference. You called her, right?"

"Yes, I did."

[Other provider] "She never spoke to me."

I think if everyone were less uptight about this, we could have a good thing going on. A community. Less paranoia, reasonable privacy, more safety and accountability. But you people just want to bitch and make life more interesting it seems....

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dArtagnon click here to view user rating
Member since 22-Nov-09
225 posts, 8 feedbacks, 16 points		 30-Nov-09, 05:31 AM (PST)
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24. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #23
 
Such is life. Some feel it's an inconvenience for a variety of reasons, which if you knew more about their personal circumstances, would be considered quite valid.

I hobby by word of mouth and have been doing so for quite some time. I also prefer providers who have reviews and don't ask for references. They have all been great sessions. Works for me.

If giving references all over the damn place works for you, good.

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sexproject7 click here to view user rating
Member since 17-May-06
586 posts, 4 feedbacks, 7 points		 01-Dec-09, 12:18 PM (PST)
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25. "RE: As a hobbyist, do you find providers who require references o"
In response to message #0
 
   all they will have is the number on a throwaway phone. too much risk of having mongering life impose on daily life if she should go nutso. Remember, many of the women (yeah I know I'm generalizing) in this field (just by virtue of how our American society looks at the profession)usually have some emotional or mental cobwebs that I have no interest in exploring. Asians seem to have a better cultural attitude towards 'providing' and 'generally' you'll find a mentally healthier bunch of women than with the caucasian and afro-american women. Just an observation is all.

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