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AndyCap
Member since 3-Oct-09
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23-Jan-10, 11:38 PM (PST)
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"Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
 
   I feel so ashamed. I am unemployed and married and I saw a provider on Friday. I was not particularly horny just bored and wanting to get out of the house. I was not really into the session but just went through the motions.

I feel like I have let my family down and I am hoping that I will be stronger in the future in avoiding this temptation but my situation feels so hopeless that sometimes I just need an outlet and sorry to say being with a provider or watching porn becomes an outlet.

Just wanted to vent a little.

Thanks for your time.

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mattwfoley click here to view user rating
Member since 5-Jan-07
272 posts, 3 feedbacks, 6 points
23-Jan-10, 11:47 PM (PST)
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1. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
   andy...squeeze one out...go for a run...find a cheap hobby...OR bust your ass and take the best job you can to earn some money for yourself and your family

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oralio click here to view user rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
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23-Jan-10, 11:56 PM (PST)
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2. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 23-Jan-10 AT 11:57 PM (PST)
 
Don't beat yourself up. You already took a positive step in admitting it and sharing it here.

If you do the same thing several more times, then beat yourself up.

If you haven't done it yet, start the path to learning and appreciating the development of your inner self, as opposed to your carnal self and external pleasures. It's a long and slow path, but ultimately will reward you many times over. Done irresponsibly and to excess, pursuit of external carnal pleasures is surely the path to spiritual ruin.

Be the change
you wish to see

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D36L78
Member since 19-Dec-09
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24-Jan-10, 04:17 AM (PST)
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4. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
   There are about a million other things you can do if your bored and looking to get out of the house. The fact that you chose to do this just goes to show that their is more to it then just pure boredom

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thruxton
Member since 7-Jun-08
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25-Jan-10, 00:17 AM (PST)
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19. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #4
 
   not really anything unusual about using food or sex for emotional reasons.

to the OP, you are human and recognize that you have some issues to work with. should be easy to conjure up the feelings you have right now, should you feel the temptation in the future to misdirect your energies.

good luck

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jockitch9
Member since 3-Feb-07
202 posts, 2 feedbacks, 0 points
24-Jan-10, 07:39 AM (PST)
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6. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 24-Jan-10 AT 07:42 AM (PST)
 
Welcome to the club. Try to look at hobbying as a positive thing. Keep it in moderation and you will be fine.

It has kept my 25 year marriage together. Without it i would have been divorced long ago out of boredom and sexual frustration.

I have tried the affair route. Hobbying is way better. For $200 you can get a gorgeous RA to do things your wife will never do. Think about it: $200 for a near Playboy quality Asian RA. This indeed is still the Golden Era. Relax and enjoy. Keep it to a session every few months and you will be fine. Establish a limit on the number of sessions, say like 6 a year and try to live within that number. Don't worry about feeling like its an outlet or being a little compulsive. It is a great stress reliever for me. Just don't let it take over or become addictive. One last thing: don't tell anyone....not even your close friends. Just keep it totally quiet and enjoy the blessings of a young woman from time to time.

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Lefeu click here to view user rating
Member since 27-Nov-08
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24-Jan-10, 09:13 AM (PST)
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8. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
   >I feel so ashamed. I am unemployed and married and I saw a provider on Friday.

Nothing to be ashamed of my friend. We all do things that we regret later on. That's part of life. If you really enjoy that activity, you're going to it again. If you don't enjoy it, it will be easy to stop doing it.

As mentioned in a previous message, this activity can actually be healthy for a marriage, if looked at the proper way.

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Masterdick1 click here to view user rating
Member since 30-Mar-07
559 posts, 19 feedbacks, 35 points
24-Jan-10, 09:35 AM (PST)
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9. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
   It's O.K. Andy too not be perfect in your own eyes, this is a sign of

awareness of the human condition. You our under alot of stress and

our probably having feelings of being undeserving of your family.

You have too remember all that was and is good about life and be

kind to yourself. If you feel you have let your family down, then

this hobby is not for you. Forgive yourself and keep looking

for a job. This will be a positive path to take for you and your

family. We have all slipped, one way or another. Don't look back

at your screw ups, learn from them and move forward. Good Luck.

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thepk click here to view user rating
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24-Jan-10, 10:58 AM (PST)
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10. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #9
 
   if you are gonna do a mind thing on yourself, maybe you should stay off of redbook! conflict of interest?

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NealDown click here to view user rating
Member since 25-Apr-06
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24-Jan-10, 11:00 AM (PST)
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11. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
That has to suck knowing that you used money that your family really needs for a session that you really didn't want nor need. Though it may not be the case with you, that is a sign of possible sex addiction. It's easy to use sex and the hobby as a dodge to avoid unpleasant realities. Just a thought.

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JackJelly
Member since 17-Jan-10
110 posts
24-Jan-10, 11:23 AM (PST)
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12. "Sorry, I don't get it"
In response to message #0
 
   What are you ashamed about, being unemployed and seeing a provider?
Being married and seeing a provider?
Both? If so what the heck are you doing here?
Will you feel better about seeing a provider when you have a job and are still married with a family?

Being here and avoiding temptation, now that's a workable combination.

Somebody help me!

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reloadingtoo click here to view user rating
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24-Jan-10, 12:19 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
   ...maybe your lucky it was a 'disappointing experience', i.e. if it had been over-the-top great, the needle would be in your arm and you'd want to further deplete your finances with another sooner-than-later revisit!

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tra4fun click here to view user rating
Member since 21-Feb-07
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24-Jan-10, 01:06 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #13
 
I've been seeing providers out of whoredom for 43+ years.

Oh boredom.

Shit I'm sorry.

Dude, lighten up on yourself. My next door neighbor is losing his home on the ocean that he's been in for 20 some odd years as a result of a health expense with his wife. He knows I hobby and asked about it.

Guess what I told him.

Unless you REALLY connect, it's an empty endeavor. There is NO emotional or spiritual value. He thanked me.

Go whack off bro.

Rub one out, and give your other hand a rain check on a couple of hundred bucks. Just promise to pay when you get back to work

But, go easy dude on yourself. This is not a death penalty offense.

You will not find your pecker falling off anytime soon. God will not strike you down in front of the Starbucks.

Lighten up!

tra

Your heart and soul is what I came for...

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eros2354 click here to view user rating
Member since 22-Mar-05
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24-Jan-10, 01:55 PM (PST)
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15. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 24-Jan-10 AT 01:56 PM (PST)
 
Practice meditation. Inexpensive & works. Its a lot harder than it looks.

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ngsfmale click here to view user rating
Member since 19-May-03
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24-Jan-10, 03:57 PM (PST)
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16. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #15
 
   I feel your pain. We all have that kind of feelings. You have to find peace within yourself. Admit it, we are wrong, but we all justify.

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nohassles click here to view user rating
Member since 8-Oct-06
376 posts, 16 feedbacks, 32 points
24-Jan-10, 08:20 PM (PST)
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17. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 24-Jan-10 AT 08:24 PM (PST)
 
You must go to your local priest and have him hear your confession.

Don't forget to genuflect prior to entering the pew prior to reciting your 16 Our Fathers and 7 Hail Marys.

Upon completion of your punishment prescribed by God's representitive on earth your sin will be automatically cleansed from your soul.

Don't forget to dip your fingers in the holy water and cross yourself upon entering and leaving the sacred house of something or other.

Look Andy,

Congratulations,

You have learned through your actions that you are a normal human being and no different from the guy sitting next to you.

I also assure you that the guy sitting next to you either did the same thing and if not, acted on some other impulse... Trust Me..

Do not look at this as a transgression but rather as a speedbump in the road of life.

If you feel the what you did was a mistake then recognize it as such and learn from it.

Don't tell anyone about this including your priest and FOR GOD'S SAKE don't tell your wife... don't tell anyone..

Remember the old saying...

"Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead"

I don't think you want to put yourself in a position where you will have to rub out your Priest to shut him up because then you'll really have some explaining to do when you meet you maker.


Learn from this and go on with your life.

One more thing ... If you did anything uncovered go to a local clinic and get tested for STD's

You owe that to your wife...


Nohassles

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patT1
Member since 26-Jul-09
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25-Jan-10, 10:02 AM (PST)
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20. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #17
 
   I went down a similar path about 3 years ago, I was home for a long period of time and spent too much time on RB got horny one day and impulsively called up a provider for the first time. I enjoyed it very much but latter felt ashamed and felt like I had caught an STD. Yes I went and got tested even though I had no symptoms it was all in my head. So you are not alone next time you get the urge and you will again soon think about your wife and kids, if you feel any hint of guilt go the massage only route.

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Sleek67
Member since 30-Sep-09
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25-Jan-10, 10:20 AM (PST)
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21. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #20
 
   Andy, been there too my friend. Did the same thing a couple of times and addictions will do that to you. The regret was strong and I felt bad, yet here I am this morning checking ads out and wondering what I can do to swing a hookup with an RA or a cheaper MILF.

Take a breath. Life can be hard sometimes.

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Rockout click here to view user rating
Member since 26-Jul-04
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25-Jan-10, 10:22 AM (PST)
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22. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #20
 
I would say what is done is done. If he did it and he feels ashamed all he can do is not do it again. There's no use in beating yourself up for something in the past. There's no point in it. The best and only thing you can do is to not repeat it.

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Zejauw69 click here to view user rating
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29-Jan-10, 01:12 AM (PST)
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23. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
   Don't beat yourself up too much. You seem to know what's right and that's what matters.

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sfman click here to view user rating
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30-Jan-10, 04:47 PM (PST)
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24. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #23
 
   Hey, we are all human and temptation is just a part of being human. Don't beat yourself up too much. The fact that you recognized your current situation and will refrain from spending money on this hobby until you get a new job says a lot about who you are.

Remember, wacking off doesnt cost you a dime and you can do it as often as you want until that next job comes your way.

Good luck with your job hunting!

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Cheers click here to view user rating
Member since 22-Dec-07
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30-Jan-10, 07:31 PM (PST)
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25. "RE: Ashamed - Saw Provider out of boredom"
In response to message #0
 
Oh lord. I have sinned many, many times as I guessed I have an incurable impulse that I need to see providers 3 to 4 times per week. I thought I was doing God's work and doling out 2 bills and spread my wealth around the whole wide world. FYI, I do make a donation to the latest crisis - Haiti with a matching contribution from my employer. I have always been considerate and a gentleman to the Ras and have runned a lot of errands on their command at no cost to them plus free lunches and dinners for them too. I always consider them as a friend as well as a well "paid" consultant in what they do and I have deep respect that they put out to us. This is what it is. Cheers

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