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Reading Topic #43528

patT1
Member since 26-Jul-09
8 posts, Rate this user		 18-Feb-10, 10:59 AM (PST)
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"The Rub and Tug?"
 
   Do you consider FBSM as cheating on your significant other? I have been pondering this question for some time. I know some of us only do the rub and tug because they justify it as not cheating on their wives and the chances bringing home an STD are far less.

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eros2354 click here to view user rating
Member since 22-Mar-05
3078 posts, 12 feedbacks, 23 points		 18-Feb-10, 11:13 AM (PST)
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1. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 18-Feb-10 AT 11:16 AM (PST)
 
If you release other than your own hand or SO's . Let's reverse it & what if your SO relieves herself other than her or your hands? More in depth question. If you pay with counterfeit currencies, is it consider rape. Can't win ....

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rustytrmbone09
Member since 22-Jan-09
29 posts		 18-Feb-10, 11:39 AM (PST)
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2. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
   I have always justified it as just an extension of the massage. I believe all massages should include the genital area just for the pure essence of relaxation. But I am also a perv and tweak the traditional ideals to satify my guilty conscious. Clear as mud?

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Sleek67
Member since 30-Sep-09
42 posts, Rate this user		 18-Feb-10, 12:30 PM (PST)
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3. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #2
 
   If you are somewhere with another woman, and you cannot tell your wife you were with her for whatever reason, you are cheating. It's as simple as that. When I go to a rub and tug I do not tell her anything about it. I know what I'm doing.

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Lefeu click here to view user rating
Member since 27-Nov-08
283 posts, 6 feedbacks, 12 points		 19-Feb-10, 04:09 PM (PST)
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19. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #3
 
   >If you are somewhere with another woman, and you cannot tell your wife, you are cheating<

Well said! there are some exceptions, however. If you have lunch with a woman (or a man) that your wife does not like for personal reasons, I would think it would be OK not to mention it.

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jujube
Member since 19-Sep-02
1130 posts		 18-Feb-10, 08:31 PM (PST)
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10. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #2
 
   I am in agreement with rusty - afterall, the penis has muscles (penile muscles) that has tension (erection) that needs to be released (cum) through a penile massage and it is part of the body as well.

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dangermouse666 click here to view user rating
Member since 1-May-07
1150 posts, 19 feedbacks, 38 points		 18-Feb-10, 01:21 PM (PST)
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4. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
if you are worried about justifying the experience as not cheating, you are missing out on the best part of the experience. if you do it, and you enjoy it, get over it. meet your obligations, be a good person and seek the fullest possible state of enjoyment. fbsm is better the more present you are, and the more open to experiencing joy that you allow yourself to be.

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sanosek click here to view user rating
Member since 26-Jan-04
494 posts, 7 feedbacks, 14 points		 18-Feb-10, 02:14 PM (PST)
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5. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
I imagine a lot of women would consider you merely being on this site tantamount to cheating.

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VonClitzentitz
Member since 10-Apr-07
4001 posts		 18-Feb-10, 02:28 PM (PST)
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6. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #5
 
   >I imagine a lot of women would consider you merely being on this site tantamount to cheating.

And we have not even begun looking at the religious implications...

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The_Economist click here to view user rating
Member since 24-Mar-09
587 posts, 11 feedbacks, 21 points		 18-Feb-10, 03:34 PM (PST)
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7. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #6
 

Not to mention the religious imprecations.

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brianavatar
Member since 22-Dec-09
19 posts, Rate this user		 18-Feb-10, 04:56 PM (PST)
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8. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
   Reminds me of Bill Clinton...
"...depends on what the meaning of 'is' is...."

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oralio click here to view user rating
Member since 1-Dec-03
33042 posts, 110 feedbacks, 180 points		 18-Feb-10, 07:30 PM (PST)
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9. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
OF course it's cheating.

But in the spectrum of cheating, it's not as bad as fucking, giving or receiving oral.

Be the change
you wish to see

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Argo
Member since 8-Nov-02
1828 posts		 18-Feb-10, 08:39 PM (PST)
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11. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
Cheating is a relative term.

Remember, Jimmy Carter considered himself a cheater. "I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times...."

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notmeithink
Member since 22-Feb-09
1241 posts		 18-Feb-10, 10:21 PM (PST)
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12. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
   Sometimes FBSM is cheating and sometimes it's like lazy masturbation. Your answer depend on the session.

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Masterdick1 click here to view user rating
Member since 30-Mar-07
598 posts, 19 feedbacks, 38 points		 19-Feb-10, 09:17 AM (PST)
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13. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 19-Feb-10 AT 09:18 AM (PST)
 
The question you should be asking yourself is " Would my SO/Wife consider FBSM an act of cheating?
Some of them would be really hurt by this behavior.
Asking RB members what they think about sexual behavior and cheating
is like asking an alcoholic if wine is better then hard liquor.

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notmeithink
Member since 22-Feb-09
1241 posts		 19-Feb-10, 10:48 AM (PST)
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14. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #13
 
   LAST EDITED ON 19-Feb-10 AT 10:50 AM (PST)
 
Arnie says "if u eat...its not cheat..."

http://forum.myredbook.com/dcforum2/User_files2/m1u8r2mwkzq3u7o6.jpg

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BigBill click here to view user rating
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671 posts, 6 feedbacks, 11 points		 19-Feb-10, 10:52 AM (PST)
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15. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
   Cheating is defined by the understanding between you and your SO. What would her answer be if you asked her? I think we all know, or you wouldn't be asking us.

I've come to the realization (other may call it rationalization) that as long as she never finds out and I don't spend resources that would affect our lifestyle, then I'm not hurting her. It has made me a much happier and more affectionate husband. By getting my lust satisfied I don't pressure her into things she doesn't want to do and I don't feel frustrated. Therefore I am comfortable with my choice to hobby. Am I cheating? Yes. Does it bother me? No, because it is not causing any harm.

The question for you is how do you feel after a session? If you walk away feeling regret, guilt, shame, then you should not do it. It's actually pretty easy to keep from cheating - when you feel the urge, jack off. Repeat as necessary.

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dArtagnon click here to view user rating
Member since 22-Nov-09
365 posts, 15 feedbacks, 29 points		 19-Feb-10, 01:08 PM (PST)
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16. "Yes, it's cheating"
In response to message #0
 
Anything that you do where another woman is touching your body..is cheating. Get real.

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artwolf click here to view user rating
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307 posts, 2 feedbacks, 3 points		 19-Feb-10, 01:15 PM (PST)
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17. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
   When I wanted more relief from my Ex than she was willing to put out, she would tell me to masturbate.
So I started doing just that, except using a paid professional woman's hand to do the deed. Felt no guilt at all.

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ngsfmale click here to view user rating
Member since 19-May-03
2108 posts, 14 feedbacks, 27 points		 19-Feb-10, 02:23 PM (PST)
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18. "Does it matter?"
In response to message #17
 
   Did Clinton said Oral Sex is not Sex? We are aplitting atoms here. Whose standard do you use? Why don't you ask your SO? A lot has been said here. We are going to hell for sure.

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Lefeu click here to view user rating
Member since 27-Nov-08
283 posts, 6 feedbacks, 12 points		 19-Feb-10, 04:12 PM (PST)
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20. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #17
 
   >When I wanted more relief from my Ex than she was willing to put out, she would tell me to masturbate

That is funny! was that why she became an Ex?

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kinkyfetishstud
Member since 17-Aug-09
1093 posts, 28 feedbacks, -5 points		 19-Feb-10, 09:38 PM (PST)
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21. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #20
 
>>When I wanted more relief from my Ex than she was willing to put out, she would tell me to masturbate
>
>That is funny! was that why she became an Ex?

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The7thStorehouse click here to view user rating
Member since 9-Jan-04
715 posts, 13 feedbacks, 26 points		 20-Feb-10, 01:50 PM (PST)
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23. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
   The cheater has no right to define cheating. The question should be posed to that significant other. Her answer is THE answer as far as you are concerned

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crazyfingers click here to view user rating
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24. "types of cheating??"
In response to message #0
 
Levels of Cheating

Level 1

Is any touch or physical contact kept secret. This is breaking a promise and lying - its bad, but not nearly as bad as level 2. Sub levels for hand job vs. blow job etc.? (1.1, 1.2) I don't think so. The physical aspect is still the key. This is what Bill Maher calls "honest" cheating i.e Spitzer was at least "honest" b/c there was no love or emotional cheating, he just wanted some new pussy whathaveyou and payed for it. No dinners, no romance, just sex. This is how most democrats cheat (see Edwards for exception). This looks like Tigers level, but he was so extensive and public its hard to tell, but I am pretty sure he never had any real connection to any of those women (maybe that makes it worse?).


Level 2

Not the above only, but the above plus an emotional connection: love, caring, dinners, flowers, valentines day, etc. etc. This is worse cheating b/c you are not just getting the physical need meet, but now you are getting your emotional needs met outside the relationship. This is the Sandford/Gingrich kind of cheating, love letters, trips to B/A, having two families. You can cheat this way and not even have sex, if you go on secret romantic dinners and so on. Still, not really cheating until you cross the line and get a hotel.

Or forget all the above bu**s***. If the shoe was on the other foot and you would be mad or hurt, its cheating. Period.

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jockitch9
Member since 3-Feb-07
207 posts, 2 feedbacks, 0 points		 21-Feb-10, 07:25 AM (PST)
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25. "RE: The Rub and Tug?"
In response to message #0
 
   Ask yourself this: IF your wife had a 23 year old stud finger her clit til she came, would you mind?

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