Good morning. Regarding a therapist, I'd suggest looking up someone who deals with sexual addictions, as they might be more comfortable and knowledgeable in this topic. You do not sound like you have a sex addiction, because you don't sound like you see providers that often.

Bareback is intimate. This intimacy is both physically and psychologically important. For someone with a larger dick, a condom will make the experience almost without feeling. Also, some of the larger condoms are hated by providers (Magnum), because of texture and taste. Ask the provider for some other way of getting the physical intimacy: perhaps a fbsm session (getting jacked off) or a bbbj. Once you have a physical alternative, then the psychological intimacy may follow, maybe.

And then there is another experience I have had only with one provider, several years ago (Dutch Sonja in Berkeley). During our sessions, I had this overwhelming thought about getting her pregnant, making babies, etc. (What!!!) But it was really and truly there. Saw her several times at her very high rates, but eventually stopped. The power to procreate is amazing, and maybe that was what was going on. By the way, she'd be an awesome mother: tall, strong, even tempered, kind, ... wow. [By the way, I have an intact family of five, so families are something that I understand.]

Hope these thoughts help.

Good luck,

oj

Perhaps it's time that you consider limiting your sexual partners. Find an exclusive sugar baby or girlfriend that you can enjoy BBFS with, without exposing yourself to such high risks. By limiting your and their number of partners, that will vastly reduce your risk of catching and spreading STDs.

You could also change your routine, by only seeing providers for BBHJ or BBBJ for a while. Take a break from FS, and then return after a while to see if you can enjoy it in a safe manner.

To be honest, I think you need to think hard about your motivations on why you do this, why you can't control yourself, and why you continue to do it despite your best intentions.
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Hope burns bright!

The reason is, psychiatric/psychological care is one of the few areas where the patient is NOT in control of the treatment or what it will be. With a regular doctor you can shop around, negotiate, get second opinions, and generally accept or refuse care as you need to. With shrinks, as you hint at, you could get committed to an institution or fucked with by the shrink and there's nothing you can do about it.

I stay away from the fuckers. Which is not great, since I'm pretty sure I have depression and should get treated for it, but I just don't trust them, they have no idea what they're doing, the drugs are primitive, brutal, and have nasty side-effects that are often worse than the disorder they're supposed to treat, and I don't really want to be a guinea pig. Plus I don't like the idea of a shrink FORCING me to take meds or undergo treatment, under threat of being committed. NO way, fuck you very much.

Fix this yourself if you can. There are also sex-addiction peer groups that might help if you think you're at that stage. Google around.

As in United Nations, Maam.

http://www.discountcondomking.com/product-detail.cfm?itemid=536

Back in April I got my steady provider to quit and be exclusive with me
for about the same amount I was spending a month on the hobby. It has worked for both of us, and bareback is so much more erotic/pleasurable.

*Think about your Johnson hurting to the point that you can't even sleep.
*Think about someone shoving a Q-tip in your pee hole.
*Think about lighting your Johnson on fire every time you pee.
*Think about not being able to have sex or jerk off for a month.
*Think about the fear that your Johnson might fall off.

Think about it before you go BBFS and you'll know it's not worth it.